Tarot Reading

Tarot Reading from Facebook on 30th Sept 2007

The Hermit

The Hermit denotes a need to have some space between you and everyday hustle and bustle of a busy world. The Hermit needs to retreat. Indeed, happiness for The Hermit requires seclusion, freedom for material wants and time for intense introspection. The answers The Hermit needs cannot be found in our physical world. The truths he seeks are internal and spiritual. The distraction of a well developed social life can only impede his quest for personal truths. Still, The Hermit does sometimes need to share time with others so that he can learn or teach, guide or be guided. The Hermit’s time spent amongst people depletes his energy quickly. To avoid an overlord, he has to retreat from social settings quickly.

Casilda

Casilda is a female warrior name. When my brother showed me his pet application in Facebook, the rabbit reminds me of Neopet’s cybunny. She was my very first pet in Neopets. That was 8 years ago. Over the years, my pet has evolved to other species but I still love cybunny best. That’s why I created another account especially for cybunny.

Anyway those times I never spent much effort naming my pets. This habit only started when I was mapling due to his influence. I have stop mapling ever since I got myself a new computer which is weird because part of the reason I bought my new computer is to play games. But I never got around playing any serious application games with it, thanks to the buggy Vista. If my colleague never mention about his character, I most probably would have forgotten how painstakingly I had trained my warriors and mages.

Maybe that is why I created Casilda. She is a simple purpabit in Facebook who likes to battle only because of the items she may obtained haha. And she is supposed to be my strength.

I was anticipating 2 things recently. When things are so close to being achieved, something unexpected happen which bewildered me. I was quite worried I will lose the strength to execute what I had been counting down for. It is weird as it seems to be buying more time for me to reconsider my decision. Have I once again misread?

To delay it by one week, after which I am unsure what reaction I would get either. Is my heart resolved? Looking back, what saddens me is the indecisive nature. To continue in the current state, I will one day lose focus of myself and settle for the current state only. In the Alchemist, it is said that one should always accept what he has been given and not think he does not deserve it. Else heaven will really give him lesser the next time. Of course one should also not ask for more. I have not really figure out how to achieve my dreams and yet be satisfied with my lot haha. But I’m truly grateful for all that GA has done for me.

I’m not sure if I will still proceed on for the second matter. I had thought of settling it yesterday. But a twist in event might cause my state to be back to square one. And if I insist on saying it out, I might not be able to handle the consequences. In the end, I gave up clearing up the matter. Maybe when I get provoked again, and I cannot swallow it, I will speak my mind.

Right now, I only want strength to continue my counting down. I need to keep my fighting spirit!

Totto-Chan: The Little Girl at the Window

Totto-Chan: The Little Girl at the Window
by Tetsuko Kuroyanagi

I am writing this entirely based on my (lousy) memory. I am writing it because this is one book that I actually feels like buying (the original in Japanese) even if I do not know how to read.

At first I thought it was a work of fiction because the way the school ran was really very weird. But later on, I realised that the author had written the story based on her own childhood.

The author is a popular Japanese actress who once was a student at Tomoe Gaukuen, an experimental school in Tokyo, Japan. This special school was founded by Mr. Sosaku Kobayashi who had a unique concept of teaching while observing his own daughter.

I remember his first meeting with Totto-Chan, he allowed her to talk freely. And she talks for a very long time, until her throat was dry and she ran out of topic (which is very rare for such a girl). Such patience is indeed rare in most adults who usually feel that children are just spouting nonsense and prefer for the children to listen to him/her.

I remember their first swimming lessons. They were swimming in bluff although they are allowed to swim in swimsuits. Mr. Kobayashi wishes to inculcate in these young children that their body is the same as anybody else and that they should be proud of their own body. Most importantly, he wishes to tell a special child with some deformation that he should be proud of his own body. These children learn that there is nothing remarkable about physical appearance and prefer to focus instead on the swimming pleasures.

I remember their classroom lessons. There is a list of agenda which one must complete by the end of the day. It would include English, Mathematics, Science, Arts etc. You can start with any of the objective first so long you complete the list by the end. The teacher is around for you to ask questions. Some people will start with their favourite subjects which could be Mathematics or Arts. And end the day with their least favourites. It is your own call how you wish to complete your tasks. Most importantly, you will learn not to be distracted by the classmate besides you who might be doing a laboratory experiment while you are learning your English.

Most importantly, I remember the train carriages. The whole school is actually formed by train carriages. The day Mr. Kobayashi brought in a new carriage as their library was a big event. All the children camped in school that night to see the carriage being brought in (without any railway tracks). It reminds me about the bus that was used for some remedial thingy some years ago in Singapore. Hmm but I think the bus idea did not work too well here? Not sure.

This book opens up a lot of ideas with regards to teaching. I am very impressed and hope that there will be people as dedicated towards teaching as Mr. Kobayashi. Schools, like any organisations, tend to lose their focus because of the competitive nature in society. But so long as there are a few who are dedicated, I believe that the education system will still be sufficiently efficient.

许哲佩-气球

许哲佩-气球

黑的白的红的黄的
紫的绿的蓝的灰的
你的我的他的她的
大的小的圆的扁的
好的坏的美的丑的
新的旧的各种款式各种花色任你选择
黑的白的红的黄的
紫的绿的蓝的灰的
你的我的他的她的
大的小的圆的扁的
好的坏的美的丑的
新的旧的各种款式各种花色任我选择
飞的高高越远越好
剪断了线它就死掉
寿命短短高兴就好
喜欢就好没大不了
越变越小越来越小
快要死掉也很骄傲
你不想说就别再说
我不想听不想再听
就把一切誓言当作汽球一般随它而去
我不在意不会在意放它而去随它而去
气球
飘进云里
飘进风里
结束生命
气球
飘进爱里
飘进心里
慢慢死去

Bflygal's comment:
Heard this song this morning... and remember a phrase someone mentioned to me before

Begin with an End in Mind

It means to figure out the image of the end of your life as a frame of reference by which everything else is measured. And the reason I did not really “heed” this advice is because I have decided to live everyday like it is the end of my life. Sounds pessimistic? Not that I am really cursing myself to die. It is because I had earlier on read a powerpoint advising us to treat people as if they are dying. You know the mentality of human being? Only at one’s deathbed, everybody will start saying only good things about him. That he is remarkable, that he is kind. Only when you know he is dying, you will treat him doubly well. You will try to patch things up, bury hatchet.

But I did not want to treat as if everybody is dying, so I decided to assume if I am dying, what I hope to achieve today. Not that it really helps me as I tend to loaf and stone for a very long period of time.

Actually I long had an idea of living my life without any regrets since beginning of this year which is why I took one drastic action that period. Unfortunately it makes me more vulnerable than before and I had to keep figuring out how to protect myself, strengthen myself.

But the cautious me has made my development slow. The latest event really bewildered me. As of now, I am still unable to figure out what message Heaven has for me considering he knows that I have been counting down for so long. Maybe he decides to give me some hiccups and hurdles to overcome again. Whatever it is, if I fail, just re-take, and if I overcome, good for me. Haha!

Free Your Mind

Eugene Loh, A Slice of Life, 938LIVE, a station of MediaCorp Radio

ADAPTED FROM AN UNKNOWN AUTHOR

Many years ago there was a young man living in Korea, who felt that his life was quite empty. So he shaved his head and went up into the mountains to live the life of a monk. He studied diligently for a number of years, but still felt that he did not really understand how to be free.

The young man had heard of certain Zen masters living in China so he gathered his meager belongings and started a long and arduous journey across arid plains.
Every day he would walk for many hours, and would stop only after finding a patch of land that had a source of water. Finding water was not a simple task in such dry lands. There were many times he had to walk until late in the evening before finding a suitable location in which to rest and be refreshed.

One day was particularly hot, and the monk walked on endlessly, unable to find an oasis. When he did finally find a shaded area he collapsed on the ground and slept for several hours. He woke up some time after midnight and he was tremendously thirsty. He crawled around on his hands and knees in the darkness, and ran across a roughly made cup that must have been left by a previous traveler. The custom of leaving a cup with some water in it, for the next traveler to drink from was quite common. He drank the meager amount of water in the cup and he felt very blessed and very at peace with the world. He lay down again and slept quite comfortably.
The next day, upon waking up, he saw what the night before, he had taken to be the roughly made cup. It was the shattered skull of a baby wolf. The skull was caked with dried blood, and numerous insects were floating on the surface of the small quantity of filthy rain water still left at the bottom.

The monk saw all of this and immediately started to vomit. He had a great wave of nausea, and as the fluid poured forth from his mouth, it was as if his mind was being cleansed. He immediately felt a deep sense of understanding. Last night, since he couldn't see he assumed that he had found a cup which had been left by a fellow traveler. The water tasted delicious. This morning, upon seeing the skull, the thought of what he had done the night before made him sick to his stomach. He understood that it was his thinking, and not the water, that made him feel ill. It was his thinking that created good and bad, right and wrong, delicious and foul tasting. With no thinking there was no suffering.

How about you? Is there some situation in your life where it's your thinking that makes for the suffering and not the actual circumstances you are embroiled in? If this is so, it's a great opportunity for you to cleanse your mind and be free.

Bflygal’s comments:
I had wanted to write a blog on 想太多. And once again this article came timely. I thought it would be a tiring week. After the 24 hour coding, supposedly I never really rested. Monday’s cut off was somewhat a blessing. It gave me time to read the report. Although after that, I was given 2 more versions to integrate which as of now, I still have not touched. Then I had training on Tuesday and Wednesday which means more time to stone haha.

But today seems hectic because not much work was accomplished in the last 3 days. Monday’s cut off might have affected the mail server for a system while something had triggered some major inconsistency in another system. Then there are other miscellaneous issues to resolve. Everything was screaming for my attention that in the end my escapist mentality crept up and I decided to “treasure” my last chance of early release. Not that I left everything a mess. The mail was up just that too much re-sending had occurred. It is an amusing thought though. When no emails were sent, they call to ask why no emails. When too many duplicates were sent, they call to ask why so many mails. Haha, I guess everything has a limit, not too much, not too little. As for the other system, there is nothing much I can help them as it has to be manual triggering at their side. I can only check the code which most probably will take me quite a while (and I need a quiet environment, definitely not when my phone keeps ringing.)

I guess if there is anything that controls my life, it is my thoughts. That is the only driving force. If I thought it would be a tiring week, I guess I can conclude this is a tiring week. But I know deep down GA did his best to unload my burden even though I come home late everyday. And if I badly need a rest, I will just concussed and rest sufficiently haha. Most importantly, I believe today would be a good day. It is my last evening lesson for this module (I have not made up my mind on the rest of the modules). And the results should be out too.

Anyway this reminds me of the story of The Weather Man. He is a pretty known figure because he tells the weather. Some people love him, some people hate him. Supposedly this should not matter to him though. But it did, because he has low self-esteem. And his low self-esteem is pretty much on display to the public. Thus those who hate him actually threw food at him. Food that are fast food, that is left over, that they do not want. I am not surprised with the cruelty of this world, especially the metropolitan world. People tend to bully the weak even if the weak are capable.

In the end, his dying father managed to convert him. He took archery and though it might help improve his self-esteem, he suspects the bow in hand makes people think twice about throwing food at him. Generally though, he got happier.

Yeah, so I must make sure I have more positive thoughts. Hee hee!

Hayden Pannetiere - I still believe

Hayden Pannetiere - I still believe
From : Cinderella III - A Twist In Time

Somehow I know I will find a way
To a brighter day in the sun
Somewhere that I know he waits for me
Someday soon he'll see I'm the one

I won't give up on this feeling
And nothing could keep me away

CHORUS
Cause I still believe in destiny
That you and I were meant to be
I still wish on the stars as they fall from above
Cause I still believe, believe in love

I know what's real can not be denied
Although it may hide for a while
With just one touch, love can calm your fears
Turning all your tears into smiles

It's such a wonderous feeling
I know that my heart can't be wrong

CHORUS
Cause I still believe in destiny
That you and I were meant to be
I still wish on the stars as they fall from above
Cause I still believe, believe in love

Love can make miracles, change everything
Lift you from the darkness and make your heart sing
Love is a river when you fall
It's the greatest power of all

CHORUS
Cause I still believe in destiny
That you and I were meant to be
I still wish on the stars as they fall from above
Cause I still believe, believe in love

Bflygal's comment:
Lecturer has been kind to let us off early today. But I don't know why am I still awake. In some sense, I was stoning. And I was watching a fairy tale. Maybe that is why I did not attempt to type my report. I don't know.


I just adopted Ashlyn in Facebook. She means Vision. And she is cute. She reminds me of Drip Drip and Drop Drop. The 2 toy dolphins I have. They are pretty creatures. One is pink and the other is blue. They were bought on 2 separate occasions in 2 different places. Destiny brought them to me. Even though things have changed.

Cinderella says when you touch the hand, you know he/she is the true love. Sounds too magical.

The cycle

I did something wrong today. My unease makes me bored. And boredom tends to make me become curious at things which might have serious repercussions. Not that I cause any problem. But every time I attempted to do something, something else will happen. Is it a cycle? Is it to prevent me?

While watching My Last Breakthrough, Fen brought up the topic of cycle. 8 years after the sudden death of his fiancée, Fen finally found the murderer. And the murderer happens to be a suitable bone marrow donor for Qian’s brother. The murderer had taken his fiancée’s life, and yet be able to give life to Qian’s brother. It took a baby to make Fen figure out the life cycle. Tammy’s husband had died recently and Tammy loves her husband so much, she kept the baby which is the last gift her husband gave her. Even though her serious heart condition makes her an unsuitable mother and doctors had advised for her to abort the baby. A husband’s death makes a baby’s life compulsory.

I feel uneasy. I don’t know how to interpret these 2 signs. Why the news that makes me remember the quote? That makes me rethink once again. Why the cut-off? They say Singaporeans have herding mentality, thus they will follow where the crowd is. It is also a reason why they are obedient. I just realized I don’t really have much herding mentality. But it had bought me some time to do my report. Maybe it is fated.

For every action, there is a reaction. That is how the cycle persists.

Stroke

Source :
Wiki
Stroke Center

Early symptoms

• Sudden walking problems, vertigo, loss of balance or coordination
• Sudden weakness, numbness or tingling in the face, arm or leg, especially on one side of the body which may be seen as drooping on one side of the face
• Sudden confusion, trouble speaking or understanding
• Sudden vision problems in one or both eyes
• Sudden acute headache without a known cause
• Very sudden onset of nausea, fever and vomiting
• Brief fainting spells, loss of consciousness or convulsions

Several of these symptoms can occur for other reasons, but strokes are frequently characterized by the suddenness of their appearance. It can be a costly mistake to ignore symptoms — waiting for them to subside.

Risk Factors

• Poor diet: A diet high in saturated fat and low in fruits, vegetables, whole grains, and fiber increases your risk of having a stroke
• Smoking increases your chances of having a stroke
• Lack of Physical Activity: People who do not get moderate exercise regularly are at increased risk.
• Medical Conditions: The following medical conditions increase your risk of having a stroke:
• Atrial fibrillation
• Previous stroke
• Known vascular disease
• Diabetes
• High blood pressure
• Blood fat disorders (such as high LDL cholesterol)
• Obesity
  

• Age: Risk increases with age
• Gender: Men are at higher risk of stroke than women are earlier in life, but women's risk catches up to men's within about ten years after menopause.
• Genetic Factors: Although your risk of stroke is higher if a family member has had a stroke, this risk factor is minimal in relation to the risk factors listed above.
• Ethnic Background: African-Americans are more likely to have hemorrhagic strokes. This may be due to a higher incidence of high blood pressure among African-Americans. This risk is also minimal in relation to the risk factors listed above.
  

Types of strokes

Ischemic stroke
The most common type of stroke -- accounting for almost 80% of all strokes -- is caused by a clot or other blockage within an artery leading to the brain. Ischemic stroke is commonly divided into thrombotic stroke, embolic stroke, systemic hypoperfusion , or venous thrombosis.

Hemorrhagic stroke
A hemorrhagic stroke, or cerebral hemorrhage, is a form of stroke that occurs when a blood vessel in the brain ruptures or bleeds. Like ischemic strokes, hemorrhagic strokes interrupt the brain's blood supply because the bleeding vessel can no longer carry the blood to its target tissue. In addition, blood irritates brain tissue, disrupting the delicate chemical balance, and, if the bleeding continues, it can cause increased intracranial pressure which physically impinges on brain tissue and restricts blood flow into the brain. In this respect, hemorrhagic strokes are more dangerous than their more common counterpart, ischemic strokes. There are two types of hemorrhagic stroke: intracerebral hemorrhage, and subarachnoid hemorrhage.

24 hours coding

Finally the day arrived, and disappeared without a trance. Seriously, time really past very fast last night. There was this participant's lappie who will "say aloud" the time every hour. And each time, the voice said the time, my group members and I will look at each other in disbelief, thinking aloud, "One hour had passed?".

And in the wee hours, I had actually koed for half an hour. Got so fed up (and so deprived of music) that I left the room (yah we were "locked" in a room to code haha.. though we were allowed regular breaks and meals lah) and coded outside while listening to some music. That is because I had forgotten to bring my ear phone and did not want my music to disturb anybody. Weirdly that was like 4 a.m. or so and I had been feeling uneasy that period. I wonder is it really the music deprivation state or because of that reason?

Anyway I seen how remarkable my group mates were. We came in with zero knowledge and yet could still code something out to submit haha. Of course, it is nothing compared to what the other participants submitted. Most of them had big lofty aspirations of having blog feeds, forums, social networking all into this portal. I guess that is the trend now, but I had wanted to see something more special. Maybe see when they will talk about the final works? Anyway, I'm proud of my group mate still. Haha even though we only had 2.5 php pages (0.5 because it was a hidden php processing page). Maybe got chance will upload to google pages. Had learnt alot of google tools too.

Overall, I quite like this experience. And I have to say it is once in a lifetime bah. I wouldn't know if I can find classmates who are that onz to join such stuff again. And age is catching up on us. Although they had pondered on doing a similar stint for our workshop. Haha but maybe it will not be 24 hours.

On a side note, SMU is a pretty cool school. Their basement has a lot of shops and it had been fun exploring their site and enjoying their night scenery too. I rarely see Orchard in its night beauty. The silence, the stillness. Forgot to bring my camera but I had still managed to capture some photos.

Yawnz. Remarkably, after the whole event, I am still alert sufficiently to drive around some nearby area. I had planned to do some stuff (which actually include typing my report) on the way back but some last minute news disrupted my plan. Think I should be able to go catch some rest now. At least the unease I felt had kinda dispersed. But something I told my friend before came back to my mind... sighz.

Preview (Not sure when it will be taken off though)

明道+ 陈乔恩 - 再次相信

樱野3加1 再次相信

再次相信
演唱: 明道+ 陈乔恩
词:樱野/柯呈雄/祝锵博 曲: Goran Kralj

(明)有太多回忆 都发生在那年的 仲夏季
明明该天晴 爱却在你的眼中 下雨
(恩)我们或许都遗忘 那些曾经的美好
已慢慢阳光下发芽
(明)如果你 愿意
(合)愿意再次相信 相信我是爱你
(明)我不让你失望

(明)我们不该靠太近 总是在争吵过後 清醒
夏天的热气 让人老控制不住坏脾气
(恩)我们或许太任性 又或许太过在乎你
才来追逐著背影

(合)如果你 愿意 愿意再次相信
相信我是爱你 我不让你失望
我还在 这里 倔强的夏天里
有风也有大雨
(明)阳光洒满地

(合)如果停不了 我能体会这心情
(明)我会奋不顾身地 把幸福都给你 如果你想要

(合)如果你 愿意 愿意再次相信
相信我是爱你 我不让你失望
我还在 这里 倔强的夏天里
有风也有大雨
(明)阳光洒满地

(明)我是不懂你 (恩)怎样的心情
(明)不是不懂你 (恩)这样的心情
(合)如果你愿意

Bflygal's comment:
A 2nd chance for MingEn?
A 2nd chance to believe fairy tale ending exists?

Utada Hikaru - Deep River

Source :
Youtube
Wiki

Prose (Japanese)
Futatsu no kagami ga Mukiai
Oto o Datete hansha shiatta

Jibun ni yoku nita hito ni de atta toki
Watashi mo sonna oto o dateru darou

Kodomo mo otona mo
Kagami ni utsuru jibun o miru no ga suki da

Utsusare you to muchuu ni nari
Jibun mo mata kagami de au koto o wasurereba
Hito wa Shizuka na kuukan o mote amashi
Munashisa o oboeru

Watashi wa kagami da
Hikari no todonanai basho de ugokezu ni iru mono ni
Te o sashinoberu node hanaku
Dekiru kagari chikaku ni jibun o oku

Soshite onaji keshiki o miru
Itami wa Dareka to kyoukan dekitara
Kimochi yoimono kawaru to iu koto o
Shitte iru

Kanashimi ga heru node mo
Sekai ga kawaru wake de mo nai ga
Watashi no naka de hantensareta sekai wa
Tashika ni atarashii keshiki ni mieta

Daremo ga jibun ni nitamono o sagashite iru
Donna ni jibun ga kirai de arou tomo
Jibun ni nitamono no nara aiseru

Sonkei ya akogare to iu kanjou niwa ai ga nai

Shikaru ni
Hito ga isshou no naka de motto aisu nowa
Sekai de ichiban nite iru hito

Jibun no kodomo

Watashi wa kodomo da
Tadashii michi o susunde iru to shinjite iru kara
Tochuu de suteuritamono
Akirametamono o
Gisei da nante omowanai

Sora ga me o tojiru

Lyrics (Japanese)
Ten to ten wo tsunagu you ni
Sen wo egaku yubi ga nazoru no wa
Watashi no kita michi soretomo ikisaki

Sen to sen wo musubu futari
Yagate minna umi ni tadoritsuki hitotsu ni naru kara
Kowakunai keredo

Oh oh, ikutsu mono kawa wo nagare
Wake mo kikazu ni
Ataerareta namae to tomo ni
Oh oh, subete wo ukeireru nante
Shinakute ii yo
Watashitachi no itami ga ima tobidatta

That's why
That's why
That's why
That's why
That's why I chose you

Ken to ken ga butsukariau oto o
Shiru tame ni takusareta ken ja nai yo
Sonna mujun de dare wo mamoreru no

Oh oh, Nando mo sugata o kaete
Watashi no mae ni maiorita anata wo
Kyou wa sagashiteru
Oh oh Doko demo ukeirerareyou to
Shinaide ii yo
Jibun rashisa to iu 'tsurugi' wo minna sazukatta

Oh oh, Toki ni wa nagare wo kaete
Nani mo motazu ni
Atarareta namae to tomo ni
Oh oh subete wo ukeireru nante
Shinakute ii yo
Shiokaze ni mukai toritachi ga ima tobidatta

Prose (translated to English)
Two mirrors faced each other
and reflected each other; making noise.

When I meet someone who is the very picture of me,
I shall also make this noise.

Both children and adults
Like to look at themselves in mirrors.

Entranced by one's own reflection
If you forget that it's a mirror
The silent space will overwhelm you
And you'll remember the emptiness

I am a mirror.
In the place where no light can reach,
I don’t hold out my hands to he who cannot move.
Instead, I place myself as near to them as possible.

Still, I have the same scene in front of me.
If pain can be shared with anyone,
Then pain can become almost bearable;
I just know it.

Although it doesn’t mean that sadness will abate,
Nor that and the world will change,
The world which reversed inside of me
Looked surely to become a new scene.

Everybody is searching for someone who is similar to themselves.
No matter how much you hate yourself
You can love someone who resembles you

There is no love in feelings like respect or adoration.

However,
The person who someone loves the most in their lives
Are the ones who resemble them the most:
Their children.

I am a child
Because I believe that I am going the right way,
I never ever think that what I have abandoned
and what I gave up halfway
Are sacrifices.

The sky closes its eyes

Lyrics (translated to English)
My finger traces a line
as if connecting separate points.
Is it the road I've followed, or the road I will follow?

The two of us connect the lines.
Everyone eventually reaches the sea
and becomes one, so I am not afraid, and yet...

Oh, oh, Flowing down a myriad rivers
Without even paying heed to reason,
Together with the names they have been given…

Oh, oh, you don’t have to
Accept everything, or anything of the sort;
Our pain has now taken flight.

That's why
That's why
That's why
That's why
That's why I chose you

The sword was not entrusted to you
so that you could know the sound of clashing swords is
Who can you protect when such hypocrisy holds sway?

Oh, oh, changing form so many times,
You, who softly alighted before me;
today, I search for you.

Oh, oh, Trying to be accepted, no matter where you are
You don't have to do that.
We have all received the sword called "Individuality"

Oh, oh, at times changing their course,
Without carrying anything,
Together with the names they have been given…

Oh, oh, you don’t have to
Accept everything, or anything of the sort;
Turning to the sea breeze, the birds have taken flight.

Bflygal's comments:

I am a child
Because I believe that I am going the right way,
I never ever think that what I have abandoned
and what I gave up halfway
Are sacrifices.

That paragraph struck a chord with me.

Especially when I have just finish watching The Italian (Italianetz) . Have you ever seen the determination of a six year old boy searching for a mother who abandoned him when he was just a baby? Despite the fact that an Italian couple had taken a fancy on him and is willing to bring him to Italy with them. Because he believed that searching his mother is the right thing, he never thought that giving up the Italian couple was a sacrifice.

I'm sorry if I have just given away the plot for The Italian as the plot is a simple and predictable one.

I guess only a child could be so stubborn... and I wonder if....

Winged Cats

The wings are fake but the cat is real.
I am bored that's why I blog it.

Haha anyway the cat is so cute I could not resist "begging" my friend to send me the picture. Awww.. It's his MSN pic now... so cute.

There was a period I asked people around me if I'm a cat or a dog. Usually the answer is I'm a cat. Hmm.. if so, then I guess I can never rear a dog already haha. But I want a dog to go running with me, so maybe still can compromise. Let the dog chase me wahahah. And I want a husky actually.. so maybe I shall go live in Antarctic. But cats don’t stay in Antarctic.. oh no what a paradox. I shall go be an ice maiden.

Oh anyway I went to search about winged cats. Apparently cats with wings actually suffer from some skin condition else they have some extra limbs. Oh no, that sounds so pitiful. If they are in discomfort, I pray they will find some alleviation soon. Luckily the wings in this cat are faked.

And I’m still thinking why am I so bored. I have been staring at the piece of code for the whole day. Argh!! Maybe I should move on to another project. I’m feeling/getting sick…

Oracle Reading - 19th Sept

Mother Healing

“As your feelings toward your mother heal, your desires manifest more rapidly and accurately.”
By drawing this card, Heaven asks you to release some remaining “mother issues”. Give the entire situation to Heaven, knowing that everything is in the hands of Infinite Spirit. The situation may heal in unexpected ways. Be unconcerned with how it heals, and be vigilant in releasing any lower energies connected to your mother that could interfere with your life’s mission.
By releasing any mother issues to Heaven, your heart opens further to accepting joy and blessings into your life. Your mother benefits when you’re happy, whether or not she’s consciously aware of it. Be willing to forgive and release old issues relating to yourself, your mother, mother figures, or anyone connected to your mother. By cleaning your inner house, you invite new love, opportunities, abundance, and healing energy to enter your life.

Bflygal's comments:
I had asked the mermaids & dolphins, what messages they bring forth to me. And they gave me this card. Twice. With the work of the divine magic. My initial interpretation is they wish me to be more motherly haha. There is a matter I still owe GA my answer. My excuse is it concerns long term money issue and I must bid my time. But there is another reason to my procrastination. And the card reminded me that reason again. I am trying to give up a lot of things, but there is something I should not give up. I saw how Dr. Wang Pu Fen (in Last Breakthrough) fulfils his calling despite his dad’s dissatisfaction. And I told myself, I have to learn to be like him. I remember promising myself to have a clear mind but a warm heart. There should be a way to work that out.

Anyway I wouldn’t comment if oracle reading is accurate or not. Every single oracle card, if drawn, is able to interpret some part of your life. It is how you interpret it.

Back to Basic

When my brother started school, I foreseen that Java will come knocking on my door. But I ignored it.

Every time he asks me for some input of his lab, I give him my answers in a VB logic (i.e. what I will do if I’m coding in VB). Actually he should be glad, imagine if I have my answer in an ABAPish way. He will faint because ABAP is simply just not object oriented.

A few days later, I realised my core module is using JADE framework. Oh no, that spells “trouble”. An indication that Java is really seeking me out. And then the SAP guy mentions that in the upgrade, Java would be recommended. And that I (with the rest of the developers) and supposed to undergo a 2-day Java training. Oh no! Why the language that I gave up 4 years ago is finding ways and means to make me use it?

Tomorrow is competition day. And I have yet to really understand Java. But to me, it is more for fun that I had joined. Except that the ill-prepared feelings had scared my classmate and he had wanted to back out and attend school instead. That’s when I remember about The Alchemist. I was telling the other classmate the 4 reasons why a person might not achieve his dream.
1. He was conditioned since young it would never be possible.
2. Love might be an obstacle.
3. The hardship which gets more and more arduous.
4. (Which is the most scariest) The realisation that you are close to your dream and suddenly you decide you do not deserve it. And you are just contented visualising it.

I said that my classmate had visualise going to the competition (just to get the t-shirt.. which we are all “looking” forward to) and now that it is near, he might have be contented to just visualise. After all it has indeed been tedious to keep attending evening classes. And I am unsure if I can churn out any program codes useful for the competition or not. I just wanted to attend to see what they are up to. Blame it on my curiosity.

Anyway we are still going for the competition because the other guy and I are determined to go haha. But it has been interesting to see and analyze this guy’s reaction. He had even considered taking the module originally planned instead of another which he got interested suddenly. Because he felt it would be better for our project. Unfortunately, I’m not a team person. I believe in studying for my own interest only. Actually I’m interested in the other module too but I remember why I had initially wanted that module, and that reason no longer stands now. Besides I know I can get the notes from them since it is an e-learning module, so why not go for another module and learn more.

Guess I’m really going back to my basics for the time being? If so, can I get back that mental state I once had. After all, I already know the answer. Why persist? I must learn to let go…

Happy Birthday :-)

:-) is 25 years old today.

It was born on 19th September 1982 11.44 A.M. Its creator is a lecturer, Mr. Scott E. Fahlman

Coolz! Happy Birthday Mr. Smiley.

Haha, I guess I'm in a good mood today too!

The Alchemist - Introduction

Extracted from The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho

What’s the secret behind such a huge success?

The only honest response is: I don’t know. All I know is that, like Santiago the shepherd boy, we all need to be aware of our personal calling. What is a personal calling? It is God’s blessing, it is the path that God chose for you here on Earth. Whenever we do something that fills us with enthusiasm, we are following our legend. However, we don’t all have the courage to confront our own dream.

Why?

There are four obstacles. First: we are told from childhood onward that everything we want to do is impossible. We grow up with this idea, and as the years accumulate, so too do the layers of prejudice, fear, and guilt. There comes a time when our personal calling is so deeply buried in our soul as to be invisible. But it’s still there.

If we have the courage to disinter dream, we are then faced by the second obstacle: love. We know what we want to do, but are afraid of hurting those around us by abandoning everything in order to pursue our dream. We do not realise that love is just a further impetus, not something that will prevent us going forward. We do not realise that those who genuinely wish us well want us to be happy and are prepared to accompany us on that journey.

Once we have accepted that love is a stimulus, we come up against the third obstacle: fear of the defeats we will meet on the path. We who fight for our dream suffer far more when it doesn’t work out, because we cannot fall back on the old excuse: “Oh well, I didn’t really want it anyway.” We do want it and know that we have staked everything on it and that the path of the personal calling is no easier than any other path, except that out whole heart is in this journey. Then, we warriors of light must be prepared to have patience in difficult times and to know that the Universe is conspiring in our favour, even though we may not understand how.

I ask myself: are defeats necessary?

Well, necessary or not, they happen. When we first begin fighting for our dream, we have no experience and make many mistakes. The secret of life, though, is to fall seven times and to get up eight times.

So, why is it so important to live our personal calling if we are only going to suffer more than other people?

Because, once we have overcome the defeats – and we always do – we are filled by a greater sense of euphoria and confidence. In the silence of our hearts, we know that we are proving ourselves worthy of the miracle of life. Each day, each hour, is part of the good fight. We start to live with enthusiasm and pleasure. Intense, unexpected suffering passes more quickly than suffering that is apparently bearable; the latter goes on for years and, without our noticing, eats away at our soul, until, one day, we are no longer able to free ourselves from the bitterness and it stays with us for the rest of our lives.

Having disinterred our dream, having used the power of love to nurture it and spent many years living with the scars, we suddenly notice that what we always wanted is there, waiting for us, perhaps the very next day. Then comes the fourth obstacle: the fear of realizing the dream for which we fought all our lives.

Oscar Wilde said: “Each man kills the thing he loves.’ And it’s true. The mere possibility of getting what we want fills the soul of the ordinary person with guilt. We look around at all those who have failed to get what they want and feel that we do not deserve to get what we want either. We forget about all the obstacles we overcame, all the suffering we endured, all the things we had to give up in order to get this far. I have known a lot of people who, when the personal calling was within their grasp, went on to commit a series of stupid mistakes and never reached their goal – when it was only a step away.

This is the most dangerous of the obstacles because it has a kind of saintly aura about it: renouncing joy and conquest. But if you believe yourself worthy of the thing you fought so hard to get, then you become an instrument of God, you help the Soul of the World, and you understood why you are here.

Paulo Coelho
Rio de Janeiro
November 2002
Translated by Margaret Jull Costa

Bflygal's comments : I delayed blogging this post because 1, I promised to review Totochan first as that is one very good book for educational purposes. And 2, I had a friend who bought this book but have not read it. I did not really want to spoil the surprise for him. But I decided he has to read the introduction anyway, and this introduction is the one that blew me away and make me re-evaluate what I had originally evaluated. Maybe it will make him read the book too, and it will decide if another friend will be buying this book too. Gosh I think I have been too actively recommending this book that that friend wants to buy it later already. And I really think it is a sign for this book to appear in my life, because I had been asking a question.

Btw, I know life has too many questions that cannot be answered, I don't actively search them either. Maybe I used to do that in the past, but not anymore. I have learnt that a lot of questions is best left unanswered because the answers will arrive in its own time. And if it never arrive, it is never meant to be answered.

Quote of the day

“Slow down and enjoy life. It is not only the scenery that you miss by going too fast you also miss the sense of where you are going and why”.
- Eddie cantor (189201964), famous American entertainer

Author’s comments:
1. Promise never to run after the train. A colleague’s slight fall reminded me how I once almost fell too while rushing for a train. I was luckier than her though, she ended up with a slight cut, a cold stare and a scolding.

2. Continue reading. In fact, I think I read faster than I blog. I got quite a number of draft posts, mostly Jimmy’s books. I’m pretty grateful for finding Jimmy’s books in Orchard Library that time. I ended up completing everything that NLB had of Jimmy. Still got a few they did not purchase; I will have to figure out a way to read them. I also ended up borrowing other similar books, currently reading “My Beautiful Girl, Mari”, a Korean story book. It has beautiful quotes too. Thanks to Jimmy, I also visit Kino often. That day I sped read <愛情想太多> by 眼球先生. The beginning fascinated me, the ending I kinda skipped through it though. If I have a chance, I will review it again. Books with pretty illustrations suit me.. I guess I’m still a child.

3. Be more patient and slow with myself. Haha I was reading a description on Virgo woman and this line amuses me: ‘Quite an active person, you walk faster than normal females and therefore are unlikely to ever develop a pot belly.’
Hmm I still think I’m fat though.. compared to my jc days. Think I walk faster during jc days.

4. Talking about the description, it is said that Virgo woman has a tendency of searching for something which she does not know exactly. This can lead to depressions. Hmm if so, then the 4th thing I want to remind myself is to appreciate the journey while searching. This way, I will be happy always =D

5. To remind myself not to lose focus. I know out there something is waiting for me, and I must believe that I will get it (in real life and not in virtual world).

Repentant Ramblings

Is it a fruitless day today? I must have anger my GA.

Actually my grades were ok. It has been salvaged as much as possible. I knew it and am grateful for it. I did not mean to complain. True I am disappointed with my own study attitude but that does not justify why I would comment about my grades. I was just using it as an excuse to not answer the actual questions I guess. To create a false façade?

So I tried to be more attentive in lessons lately. So I made a trip down to find a book that I promised to find the previous time. Yet my trip had been fruitless in a way. GA must have been angry with me for my actions today. The only thing that I accomplish is to repair back a book I had accidentally torn a few weeks ago. I love the story plot very much and was truly sorry to have accidentally damaged it. Luckily fate has it that I managed to find it and repair it.

I am truly repentant and hope that my study attitude will improve. I need guidance on what modules to choose too. Sigh.

Zamfir - Summer Snow

It's summer snow in the deep blue sea
I try to touch but it fades away
It must be a dream I will never get
Just like my love that's crying for you

If there were something not to change forever
We could feel it deep in our heart
Today is over with a million tears
Still everyone has a wish to live

Oh I do believe everlasting love
And destiny to meet you again
I feel a pain I can hardly stand
All I can do is loving you

It's summer snow in the deep blue sea
I try to touch but it fades away
It must be a dream I will never get
Just like my love that's crying for you
Just like my love that's crying for you

Bflygal's comment:
When a song wants to find you, it will find you eventually. Many weeks ago, I remember a song came looking for me in Coffee Bean. When I first heard it, I found it very familiar. But I couldn't figure out where I heard it before. Through out the night, the song replayed 3 to 4 times. Each time, it nudged me to remember it. But I just couldn't.

Then I happen to see the Summer Snow j-drama. I was thinking if I should re-watch this drama. I had been thinking of the scene the guy mentioned. The reason why I always wanted to learn scuba diving is to experience such phenomenon personally. To see summer in the sea. I think I would die with no regrets then.

In the end, I did not watch it. And all was forgotten till last night. A friend mention the song to me. But I did not get a chance to hear it. Something in me tells me I should try to find the song and with some luck, I heard it this morning.

And when I heard it, I realised the song that was looking for me, had found me.

Time is An Illusion

Source : Eugene Loh, A Slice of Life, 938LIVE, a station of MediaCorp Radio

When we're feeling lousy or sad, we tend to forget that life does not go on forever. That every moment is an opportunity for love, knowledge, compassion, creation, and joy, and once gone, can never be retrieved. We are too fixated with the past and all its "could have"s and "should have"s, squander our precious present by feeling sorry for ourselves, and imagine a future that may not come to pass!
We've all been brought up to believe that time is quantity - 60 seconds make up one minute, 60 minutes make up an hour, 24 hours make up a day. But the meaning of time varies from person to person and from context to context.
Time is an illusion, a phantom, a delusion if you will. This moment is gone before I am finished saying "this moment". This 'moment' will virtually never exist! Time is not a thing, it has no substance...you can't touch it, you can't feel it, it cannot imprison you.
We should know not the quantity of our life, or our time spent on this earth - but we should value the quality of our life. Time by itself has no meaning - we have to give it meaning via our thoughts and actions.
There is so much happiness out there waiting for you. And there are plenty of people who can benefit from the joy you will bring them. You may now feel very lonely, and sad, and it may seem quite possible that you will never experience joy, love, spontaneity and fun again. Which is, of course, a most absurd thought. Don't worry, it's just the grief talking? the withdrawal, the initial disbelief and dejection.
It is never too late. Very often, when we lose something valuable to us, we think it's too late to salvage things, to express our love, to show our appreciation. What we fail to realise is that we have ample opportunities to do this with other people we love, and the ones we will come to love!
I urge you not to waste another moment of your life - you'll never get it back.

Author’s comment:
After reading it, I continue to waste my time still… sighz they always said 忠言逆耳利于行. And I can actually stare in blank space for about an hour to two.

I think the ghost of past came looking for me recently, asking me to evaluate life. First was my dm telling me about a bike accident that had happened (on Sunday actually and not Monday as I think I had originally mentioned). And I questioned the impatience of human beings.

Then the earthquake which left an impact on me. The weirdest thing about this earthquake is the fact that today I had taken an old copy of digital life (Mar 13 2007) to read and it was on the Sumatra earthquake that had happened on Mar 7. And while scanning through their blogosphere, I read a paragraph of someone thinking that the earthquake was a ghost shaking the dad. Weird, did someone had the same encounter my dad had? I took a look at the link and got a shock. When did my blog appear on the paper… yikes! (Luckily nobody reads it haha.) And 6 months later, on a very significant day for me, I had actually experienced the tremors.

I asked why. Because I was in Tokyo when there was an earthquake but I did not felt the tremor. Because this article reminded me how I had chided my dad from thinking it is a ghost. And yet when I experienced it, I realized it is no laughing matter. It may have been very mild compared to what the victims experienced, but it indicated how fragile a human’s life is.

And today, a fire had occurred taking away 2 lives. Accident at work is a big taboo in my workplace as we emphasis greatly on Safety. To have 2 lives lost is a big issue. I thought about their family abroad, how hard they came here to work, how much they slog here, and how sad it is to have died in a foreign land with no closest kin.

Time waits for no man. Makoto Konno, The Girl Who Leapt Through Time, taught me that. Her aunt said she’s the type who will run towards the thing rather than wait. That’s why she is always leaping around. She keeps going back to the past and redoing her stuff. But with each change, she realizes she caused different impact on the people around her. With each history rewrote, others were hurt instead of her. No matter how she tried to help, it will only get worst. 天机不可泄漏. How true.

Omens

A lot of things are running in my mind now. Like directions. Some leads me to someplace good. Others lead me to mazes. Thus I’m getting disoriented now… In the end this post became cluttered with minor episodic memories. I had thought of not posting it. But there are some signs I need to record. Maybe another 6 months later, when I read this post again, I will understand it better?

6 months ago, when I was at a crossroad, and I make the turn, I never saw these happening. I’m known to think too much, think too far, and think too deep. If I ever contract any mental illness, I think bipolar disorder would suit me just fine.

I think I’m still a beginner. I’m unsure how to read the signs. My heart keeps saying a different thing every second. I keep misinterpreting the signs, and then misinterpreted the misinterpreted signs. Actually, I did not even know what I’m doing all these while.

When The Alchemist came into my vision 3 weeks ago, it was just a book lying on the table. A few other recommended books were laid on the table but I had no interest in them. When my eyes laid on The Alchemist, I only had one thought; this book is a known book. I did not know who had read it before. I did not know who had been inspired by it. Period. It was like how I borrowed To Kill A Mockingbird. Only this book was on a table, not a shelf. Only this book had caught my sight when I usually just ignored the table. Was it a sign then?

逃到很远的地方前
先逃到很高的地方
- Quote from My Girl
I know I’m escaping. I turn quiet, and withdrawn. Especially to people who I am close to, whom I rely a lot in the past. I never know how to say goodbyes properly. And yet there are times I will be warm again, because I tell myself I should cherish every single present moment. I guess I’m a paradox.

I read the introduction of the Alchemist at the bus interchange, waiting for my bus. It griped my heart. A suffocating feeling, like your heart squeezed itself and tugged itself. It was an awakening call. But I postponed the actual message. Those days I spent after reading the introduction … was haphazard.

I finish the Alchemist in the wee hours of Sept 11th and finally understood what I was going through. I had been trying to listen to my heart. And that initially the luck I had were beginner’s luck which will wear out soon as my journey gets more tedious and arduous.

Because of a comment, I remembered a story of how an angel treated a rich family and a poor family. I remembered its moral – Everything happens for a reason. Sometimes we only see what we want to see. We become fixated by the image and lost the real image.

Another friend reminded me of the bamboo and fern story. The bamboo had taken a very long time before showing its leaves. The time was spent to build its foundations – the roots. Good days give you happiness. Bad days give you experiences. Both are essential to life, so keep going. That was the moral of the story.


Mermaids are magical spiritual helpers who exist on the etheric plane, and who are ready to assist us.
Dolphins are the mermaids’ physical companions, playmates, and co-workers. They bring magical otherworldly energy to Earth, and remind us of the importance of playfulness.
- Extracted From the Guide Book.

My friend had wanted to buy me a pack of tarot cards but she ended up picking a pack of oracle cards instead because of the Mermaid and Dolphin theme. It reminded me many years ago, when I had wanted to learn about horoscope, my mum bought me a book. Only that the book was on anything except horoscope. Hmm another sign that I’m seeking at the wrong divination method?

Last night, I chose to take dinner with my family instead of taking my shower first. It was about 7 p.m. I was told that a friend had been waiting for me online. I guessed I had missed her. A pity, but I wouldn’t exchange that with what I experienced yesterday. For the first time, I had experienced earth trembling. At first my dad had asked who is shaking the table. It is only then did I realised the floor is shaking too. It is quite amusing to recall back the scene as we were all seated at the table (minus my brother). The sensation, the trembling, the body natural reaction towards it, left me deeply unsettled. Last night, I kept asking… pourquoi? Last night, I withdrawn, even in the virtual world.

Do females who are braver, get hurt more easily? Reading MingEn’s forum no longer gives me any elation. I have not watch櫻野3加1. Because I’m worried I will get disappointed only. Actually I guess females are really more expressive in body gestures. QE has always been very direct, 爱恨分明. All these while it is more obvious to see she is the one that leads. And when MD just keep making thoughtless remarks and blowing hot and cold at her, one can see that she did give up. But what really transpires between the 2 of them, only they know. It is the same scenario for Sonjia Kwok’s character and Nick Cheung’s character in The Last Breakthrough.

I’m such a coward. Every time, I tell myself I will keep a distance. But when the situation presents itself, I turn soft-hearted. I had almost succeeded that day, only to soften because I got to know the actual situation. Sighz. I’m so confused by the mixed signals.

What’s my choices?

Choices

Source : Inspiring Thoughts
Edgar Guest, Poet wrote the following:

You are the person that has to decide
Whether you’ll do it or toss it aside.

You are the one who makes up your mind
Whether you’ll lead or linger behind.

Whether you’ll try for the goal that’s far,
Or be contented to stay where you are.

Take it, or leave it. Here’s something to do,
Just think it over. It’s all up to you!

What do you wish? To be known as a shirk,
Known as a good person who’s willing to work,

Scorned for a loafer or praised by your boss,
Rich or poor, beggar or thief?

Eager or earnest or dull through the day,
Honest or crooked? It’s you who must say!

You must decide in the face of the test
Whether you’ll shirk it or give it your best.

Bflygal's comment:
I'm typing the Omen post while hearing this background music. Something about the music makes me pensive.

Clinic

I went to the Lord's clinic to have my routine check-up and confirmed I was ill.
When Jesus took my blood pressure He saw I was low in tenderness.
When He read my temperature, the thermometer registered 40 of anxiety.
He ran an electrocardiogram and found that I needed several "love bypasses" since my arteries were blocked with loneliness and could not provide for an empty heart.
I went to orthopedics, because I could not walk by my brother's side and I could not hug my friends, since I had fractured myself when tripping with envy.
He also found I was shortsighted, since I could not see beyond the shortcomings of my brothers and sisters.
When I complained about deafness, the diagnostic was that I had stopped listening to Jesus' voice talking to me on a daily basis.

For all of that, Jesus gave me a free consultation thanks to His mercifulness, so my pledge is to, once I leave this clinic, only take the natural remedy He prescribed through His words of truth:
Every morning, take a full glass of gratitude.
When getting to work, take one spoon of peace.
Every hour, take one pill of patience, one cup of brotherhood and one glass of humility.
When getting home, take one dose of love.
When getting to bed, take two caplets of clear conscience.
Do not give in into sadness or desperation for what you are going through today.

God knows how you feel......
God knows exactly and with perfection what is being allowed to happen to you in your life at this precise moment.
God's purpose for you is simply perfect.
He wants to show you things that only you can understand by living what you are living, and by being in the place you are now.

May God give you...
For every storm, a rainbow.
For every tear, a smile.
For every care, a promise.
And a blessing in each trial.
For every problem life sends,
a faithful friend to share.
For every sigh, a sweet song.
And an answer for each prayer.

Bflygal's comments:
I'm not a Christian. I believe Goddess of Mercy, Allah and any other God and Goddess will all give the same prescription Jesus just gave. I believe my purpose is simple. I believe God loves all of us and never gives up on any. I believe God knows how I feel.

Oracle Reading

Romance

Card Meaning: The angels are addressing, and assisting you with, your romantic needs. Ask for and accept the angels' help with your love life.

This card signifies that your angels have heard your appeals for romance. They acknowledge your heart's yearnings for love. They have received and answered your requests.

Now you will work in concert with the angels to manifest the romance you are seeking. The angels will guide you in specific ways to ensure that they grant your wish. For instance, you may get a strong urge to drive to a certain place, and you might meet a wonderful partner when you arrive at that destination. The angels' guidance may ask you to engage in self-improvement activities such as exercise classes, nutritional practices, or self-help seminars. Follow this guidance, and you will discover the romance you are seeking.


Spiritual Growth

Card Meaning: You are going through a time of rapid spiritual growth. Enjoy the process!

During this time, you may feel a mixture of many feelings: confusion, excitement, fear, and wonder. You love your renewed connection with the Divine, and you wish you could read, study, learn, or meditate on a full-time basis! Simultaneously, though, you may worry about the implications that your spiritual studies will have on the rest of your life. What impact will your new spiritual pursuits have on your job, marriage, or friendships? These worries create a fear that may erode the enjoyment your spiritual studies bring you.

Surrender these fears to God, dearest one! Trust that you are supported, loved, and guided each moment. Don't worry about how your future will blend with your spiritual growth! Trust that the same Power that brought you to your spiritual path will also take care of everything else for you. After all, this Power supports all of the planets in the sky. It will surely support you perfectly, too.

Ideas & Inspiration

Card Meaning: Pay attention to new thoughts and ideas that come to you. They are seeds of magnificent co-creations with God.

God speaks to you through your thoughts, and this card shows that the angels want you to notice and follow the ideas you have recently received. These thoughts are answers to your prayers for guidance, so please don't discount them as mere imagination.

By drawing this card, the angels seek to give you confidence that you are just as capable of receiving wonderful ideas as any other child of God. That is because all wonderful ideas originate from the one Divine mind of God. Since God is omnipresent, meaning everywhere, God is within you. So, God's mind continuously expresses new thoughts and ideas right inside your mind!

Bflygal's comments:
From wiki:

Oracle card decks claim to provide insight and positive outlooks to people. They are similar in form and use to Tarot cards, but do not have suits or negative connotations as Tarot may do.

I had been wanting to get my tarot reading for the past few days but did not have a chance. Then today my friend bought me a deck of oracle cards because the theme is Mermaids and Dolphins. Beautiful. Entirely mesmerised by the cards. So went to do a research and saw this site haha. The cards seem to indicate somethings... lately I have been trying to listen to my heart... trying to see the omens. But I'm still very unsure... like a beginner... thus I get frustrated at myself more easily... I am not angry with the world. Neither do I find the world is unjust because I believe strongly in karma and in balance. Everything really happens for a reason... Just that I cannot see the reason so I lost focus.

Don't Let Impatience Kill Your Joy

Source : Eugene Loh, A Slice of Life, 938LIVE, a station of MediaCorp Radio

We live in a society which values speed and output. We focus on the destination and find the process of getting there an inconvenience. We're so obsessed with getting what we want that we find the waiting deplorable. It's not difficult to see just how impatient people can be -simply take a short drive or examine the frowning faces at a supermarket queue.

Why are we rushing? And why is waiting so insufferable? Is arriving so important that our journey is wasted on agonising over getting there? Will saving those few minutes of our day contribute to our happiness and well-being?

Impatience is a bane that takes a lot of fun out of our lives. When we're impatient, we become tense and edgy. We become so caught up with what we need to do or get done soon that we can hardly relax. When we're so anxious to get somewhere or finish something, much of our time is spent fretting, cursing and sighing. We fail to notice and enjoy the beauty of the journey, and spend our time fuming over a wait that could've been better spent on something else.

Waiting takes up a very big part of our lives. We wait for the bus, we wait for the lift, we wait for our turn at the clinic, we wait for the car to be repaired, we wait for our food to get done, we wait for our date to arrive, we wait for the light to turn green. Just imagine how much distress could be avoided if we could learn to take things easy and not focus so much on speed. Or spend our wait in more meaningful and beneficial ways.

The next time you're made to wait, perhaps your car is supposed to be ready by a certain time but it isn't, try focusing on a positive way to spend the time. Maybe you could notice details in your surroundings you would normally have ignored. Perhaps you could take a walk round the neighbourhood; you might see something you've never seen before. Or visit a shop; who knows what you might find. Or you could try reading something you wouldn't normally read. Chances are, you'll end up getting quite a bit out of the time that would have otherwise been wasted on fretting and fuming.

As Jean Paul Richter once said, "For no one does life drag more disagreeably than for him who tries to speed it up."

Bflygal's comments:
Hmm as usual, a timely arrived article. Just a few hours ago, my DM was commenting why a lady had to run across the road despite the red lights. Why couldn't she had waited for the next green man? Why do we always try to rush for the lights, the train, the bus, the food? Is life in Singapore that fast paced?

My DM told me this morning, a worker had met with a car accident while cycling. My work environment's main transport is bicycles. And cyclist are indeed more important than cars, namely because they ride with an attitude of "Hit me if you dare". That is why I sometimes avoid leaving office on time because these cyclists made driving uncomfortable.

I wonder is it the cyclist's fault or the driver's? Because these cyclist ride like how they ride in their hometown I guess. And in places like India, the traffic jam is so bad vehicles normally crawl. Thus if a car is crawling, there is no way it will ever hit a bicycle. Thus maybe the driver had been rushing too?

If you run past your life, you will never stop to appreciate what you had gone through and earned.

Is Life Fair?

Source : Asiaone

FORMER National Kidney Foundation chief executive TT Durai - who was sentenced to 3 months' jail in June for deceiving the NKF, but is now appealing his conviction - has secured a new high-paying job.

Pray, tell me, so why of all company, it is a Singapore-based real estate management firm Property Facility Services (PFS) that hire him. Tell me, why after all the "hurt" and "disappointment" he has caused us, he is still earning a freaking high pay while the majority of us are slogging our guts NOW! Tell me, why is it that his service is REQUIRED IMMEDIATELY while those who were offenders in the Yellow Ribbon Project have to seek earnestly for a 2nd chance.

Maybe the Yellow Ribbon Project organisation should get him as their ambassador. But maybe not.

Umbrella Dispenser

And I thought only Japan is capable of selling weird stuff through a machine. Lately, I seem to see weird machines in Singapore too. First was the kiosk to surf the net introduced by PacNet (which I seriously doubt it is ever in use in Tampines interchange... Ask those in Tampines where it is located and you will know why.. tempted to take a picture but oh well... I guess it is not the person's fault either)

Now I see a machine dispensing umbrella. I was pretty shocked to see the machine. It says it is ultra violet protection..blah blah blah.. and I guess it is handy for the students during rainy (or hot) day. BUT what I want to comment is the usability of this machine.

Step 1: Insert $2/$5/$10 notes below after you have decided to buy an umbrella
Step 2: Press 'BUY' button. Press once to buy 1 umbrella, press twice to buy 2 umbrellas tc.
Step 3: Press 'Change' button for change (if any). Change (if any) will be dispensed at the bottom.

So if I do not have change, and I press the 'Change' button, what will happen? And if I DO have change, but I forgot to press the 'Change' button, do I lose my change? I know the mentality of this maker, he/she wanted to have 2 buttons so that you can put in a 20 dollar note (The brolly costs 6 bucks each) and press 'BUY' twice to get 2 umbrellas. But seriously, how many people will buy 2 umbrellas at one shot? Isn't it more economical to share umbrella??

Hmm problem is my photo isn't very well taken. I manage to find another soul who had taken an interest in this machine too. Check out his post and his photo.

Oh and I remember about the NUS bookdrop that I had taken many weeks ago. Hmm I can only say NUS is trying their best.

Mooncake Festival 2007

I'm typing this while on the bus home. Ever since I brought my lappie out for a walk last Saturday, I'm addicted to use it while on the bus home. The only problem is I keep concussing while trying to study or type report. In fact for the past 1 hour, I had actually fallen asleep in a typing posture. Yikes! Thus I decided maybe I should type out my post on moon cake (which I had wanted to do last night except I was quite brain dead by the time I got home.) Anyway it seems to be working as I'm not so sleepy already. Guess reports are indeed harder to type. Oh and coincidentally, I awoke at the entrance of Aston's Specialities in East Coast haha. Maybe it is an omen that I should try that restaurant out one day? But the long queue had put me off.

Anyway my friend had wanted to check out the moon cake fair in Takashimaya on Friday and I was tempted! I had wanted to bring my camera along for fun too but was too concussed on Friday morning to remember about it. In the end I had to settle with my hand phone to do the job. Times like this, I really don’t regret buying my handphone.

We first check out the Marriott Hotel’s moon cake. I tried the Strawberry Yoghurt Moon cake and the blueberry cheese moon cake (latest creation) . The strawberry one was too sweet in my opinion so I changed my mind to buy it. As for the blueberry one, it was cheesy indeed! I mention to my classmates about this and they joke that maybe it is a cheesecake trying to pass of as a moon cake. Indeed it does not really taste very moon-cakish. But then it is not alone. While in the fair, I had seen some really weird moon cakes. They were either extra colourful or extra odd looking like this from Beccarino.

The next stop was the Moon cake fair.
Gosh it sure is crowded. And the very first shop we saw is Kee Wah selling Hong Kong goodies that left my friend “fuming” haha. Because it was selling much cheaper than what she had bought (from Hong Kong) last year. Guess next time I know where to get my Hong Kong souvenirs for people already haha.

The next shop, Rivon by Whitelink was also selling gifts too. Haha maybe some people don't want to give moon cakes, prefer to give biscuits and such instead. The guy was funny to ask us buy and keep the box as make-up box... hmm...


I lingered pretty long at the Conrad - Golden Peony because of its cranberry and wolfberry moon cake. I was very curious about it and in the end, they were the only mooncakes I bought. I bought one of each flavour (Sweet Potato Pastry, Mini Snowskin with Jasmine, Mini Snowskin with Cranberry and Mini Snowskin with Wolfberry).

And the person pack it nicely into 2 small boxes like this

I saw Goodwood Park’s chempedak paste moon cake and yam paste with red date moon cake too. Reminded me that I had bought it last year.. and that so fast, it is the time of the year again. Sighz. Anyway they were so-so. People tend to give the D24 durian paste good reviews but my parents were not impressed (not because they have high taste though).

Also saw Tunk Lok moon cakes and I like this mini moon cake packaging
Not forgetting those famous bird nest moon cakes


and Mini Snowskin with Golden Grapes with Chocolate Chips from Li Bai (Pretty Yummy, just that I did not want to buy 1 box home)

and Durian Moon cake from Home's Favourites


and whiskey mooncake e.g. Ritz Carlton - Mini Bing-Pi Strawberry Vodka Moon cake (I think I did not get the chance to try it though)


and cute little moon cake motifs from Hua Yue Ting.


Overall, I think this fair is just average because there were more unknown names than those hotel names (as compared to last year).


I think I shall head to my area later to see the moon cakes.

Back for 2nd half, Century Square is giving out cute little tea light lanterns for the occasion.

As quoted from their site : Simply spend $50* and get a specially designed tea-light lantern. Available in red or green. Limited to one redemption per customer per day.

While I did not manage to try the Bakerzin in Taka that day, I tried the Truffle Mini Snow Skin Moon cake (Brandied Cherry) this time here. It was pretty delicious. Tempted to buy but I suspect if I buy one box, I might end up getting drunk (joking... just that my parents after trying the Conrad one already scold me for wasting money.. so hmm... shall see how tempted I am bah)


The mini snowskin moon cake filled with Japanese sweet potato paste and champagne chocolate from Intercontinental - Man Fu Yuan is also quite interesting.


Oh ya I just realised that I forgot to visit the Raffles the Plaza in Taka that day. Sianz. I had wanted to try the Szechuan's Mini Snow-Skin Lychee sob sob. Hopefully I can catch it again in Tampines Mall bah. Oh and a lot of people seems to be commenting on their cheong-sam packaging hmm..


Anyway this post is just my Humble Opinion. I also have no reason why I wanted to blog about Moon cake this time round especially since all the moon cakes that I have reviewed were not particularly enticing to me namely because my mum only likes to eat Teochew Yam Mooncake from Garden Pastry (which is really good lah.. but I don't have the picture at the moment) and because I'm not a mooncake lover. I prefer the pomelos that tags along for this festival haha...

Disclaimer : All images are from the relevant sites or pamphlets that I had collected on that day or were taken by me though that is rare haha.

Unique T-Shirts

Link : Shikisai

The t-shirt designs caught my attention in MyPaper (7th Sept 2007). In fact some of their designs are pretty wacky although my personal favourite is these 2.





I like the feel that when you pull the cord, the window blind actually got pulled too. And that you can try to "play" chess on T-shirt. Haha a t-shirt made for the chess fanatic. The way they play with the design is unbelievable. (I'm envious of their creative juices haha).

You can get one from BooksActually (125A Telok Ayer Street). It costs about S$85-120.

Celine Dion - I'm Your Angel

No Mountains too high, for you to climb
All you have to do is have some climbing faith, oh yeah
No rivers too wide, for you to make it across
All you have to do is believe it when you pray

And then you will see, the morning will come
And everyday will be bright as the sun
All of your fears cast them on me
I just want you to see...

I'll be your cloud up in the sky
I'll be your shoulder when you cry
I'll hear your voices when you call me
I am your angel
And when all hope is gone, I'm here
No matter how far you are, I'm near
It makes no difference who you are
I am your angel
I'm your angel

I saw the teardrops, and I heard you cry
All you need is time, seek me and you shall find
You have everything and you're still lonely
It doesn't have to be this way, let me show you a better day

And then you will see, the morning will come
And all of your days will be bright as the sun
So all of your fears, just cast them on me
How can I make you see...

I'll be your cloud up in the sky
I'll be your shoulder when you cry
I'll hear your voices when you call me
I am your angel
And when all hope is gone, I'm here
No matter how far you are, I'm near
It makes no difference who you are
I am your angel
I'm your angel

And when it's time to face the storm
I'll be right by your side
Grace will keep up safe and warm
And I know we will survive

And when it seems as if your end is drawing near
Don't you dare give up the fight
Just put your trust beyond the sky...

I'll be your cloud up in the sky
I'll be your shoulder when you cry
I'll hear your voices when you call me
I am your angel
And when all hope is gone, I'm here
No matter how far you are, I'm near
It makes no difference who you are
I am your angel
I'm your angel

I'll be your cloud up in the sky
I'll be your shoulder when you cry
I'll hear your voices when you call me
I am your angel
And when all hope is gone, I'm here
No matter how far you are, I'm near
It makes no difference who you are
I am your angel
I'm your angel

Bflygal's comments:

All you need is time, seek me and you shall find
You have everything and you're still lonely

Your angel has come back to you. Treasure it and you will see light soon. Good luck!

许哲佩 - 疯子

许哲佩 - 疯子

刷牙我想哭 洗脸我想哭
走路我想哭 静止我想哭
出太阳我想哭 起风我想哭
听歌我想哭 看喜剧我想哭
我控制不住自己 负担太重的情绪
我拒绝面对结局 沉重的问题我不想听
伱给的很多规矩 说了很久的道理
却瞒不了我的心
再压抑 再压抑 我快不行..
(天摇地动 昏天暗地)
有眼泪 没眼泪
伱觉得 我疯了
我瞬间耳鸣 听不见伱们说的
我疯言 我疯语 眼泪让我瞎了
我哭我 眼前世界
原来快乐要用悲伤换的

刷牙我想哭 洗脸我想哭
走路我想哭 静止我想哭
出太阳我想哭 起风我想哭
听歌我想哭 看喜剧我想哭
我控制不住自己 负担太重的情绪
我拒绝面对结局 沉重的问题我不想听
伱给的很多规矩 说了很久的道理
却瞒不了我的心
再压抑 再压抑 我快不行..
(天摇地动 昏天暗地)
有眼泪 没眼泪
伱觉得 我疯了
我瞬间耳鸣 听不见伱们说的
我疯言 我疯语 眼泪让我瞎了
我哭我 眼前世界
原来快乐要用悲伤换的

可知不知道
伱别在否认
我要的自由能不能够永生
可是我累了
我只好哭了
我像疯子的般不停的哭
我没有出路
伱也当我是个疯子 我是个疯子

Bflygal's comment:
I don't mean to be mad at times. But the things I do, people just don't agree. Sometimes I also don't know why I make the arrangement. Find my limit?

Everything I do, I was treated like an impatient kid. And I was advised countlessly to take my time to slowly understand. Slowly realise. Think carefully before I submit.

Am I impatient? Is this a quarterly life crisis? Or half life crisis based on my own yardstick.

I started my first evening class yesterday. I was alert in the class surprisingly. But I was really dead tired the moment I reach home. Can I last this month? And if so, can I continue for the next month the same arrangement?

I need to learn ruby. I need to do reports. I need to train my stamina. I need most, to find my treasure, to find myself.

Tsukarete imasu!