内心的自由

Rewatched 将爱情化为行动 and remember the freedom speech

但是如果没有内心的自由
就没办法体会到人生中许多美丽的事物
就像自助旅行一样
只有自由自在的走着
才会发现到别人所看不到的美景

What exactly is internal independence?
Hmm is it a hermit's way of finding peace? Like the Monk who sold his Ferrari? (I haven't finish that book either too.. oops!)

Lately World Vision was asking for people to help educate the woman saying through education, woman will marry later. Actually I do wonder if that is a good or bad thing. Just as I do wonder if woman being too independent and headstrong is good for marriage or not. There was this article in this month's Her World about a lady who decided to call off her engagement because she felt she just wasn't ready. She said if she had been more dependent, he would probably be the right guy.

Will she ever felt this eternal regret like how 中山龙和珍珠在《命中注定我爱你》 felt? But then if the guy moved on, then I guess probably not. Perhaps, that is the problem with educated girls. They cannot be submissive wives anymore. But whether it is good or bad is entirely subjective.

Actually everything has its pro and cons. And I guess I do want this 内心的自由. At least, I believed it will let me find my true self.

在自己婚禮前，竟遇見了可能的真愛

在自己婚禮前，竟遇見了可能的真愛

a)放棄一切，追隨真愛而去...
b)向真愛表白，如果對方接受，拋棄婚禮，遠走高飛...
c)向真愛告白，但還是履行原本婚禮的約定...
d)放棄追尋，繼續原來的結婚計畫...

Want to know what the poll says? Click kokoro site to find out.

I can only say, people are too romantic... or maybe is kokoro followers are too romantic... and idealistic. Someone once said I'm an idealistic follower.. asking for the impossible.. for the perfect love.. And too stubborn for my own good...

But if love equates to marriage which equates to setting up a family, why do people alwaz tell me they want to delay having a child first?
And if you do not want to set up a family, why is marriage necessary in the first place?
And if you do not want to get married, then are you in love in the first place?

Which brings me back to this question, if you had loved, why do you falter at the wedding eve? Pre-wedding jitters may be acceptable. But forsaking the significant other at the wedding altar to seek what you deemed is real love, then in the first place, why did you marry?

Seems like it has been a long time since I watched kokoro series. Decided to try my luck .. viola.. a new series - 雪萤之舞. Fireflies aka 黑暗中的小天使, still remember YY3J1 fireflies scene. Hmm... Oh and I realise that after FTL, I kinda fell in love with 闽南语.. 忽懂忽不懂的感觉，觉得好奇妙。。。

Watching via this site.
Episode 1
>>Note the elder was asking why youngsters all don't get married, then old already how? That was a question I asked myself a few weeks ago. At first I thought of finding my friend and maybe buy a condo together. But before I even discuss with my friend, I thought over the fact that if death should occur, there would be troublesome matters e.g. estate duty etc. So maybe a nursing home would be better for me. At least after death, not much paperwork needs to be done hmm...

Episode 2
>> 雪萤 = Winter fireflies? She was saying fireflies not only come out in autumn but also in winter. But she said not much knowledge is uncovered about winter fireflies also known as diurnal fireflies (I did not research haha.. too lazy "p)

Episode 3
>>相信幸福，就能看到光芒。。

Episode 4
>> Managed to find the finale here...
女人傻起来，真的很傻。。。

雪萤。。 突然好像看雪萤。。 还是先看夏天的雪先吧! 加油！

爱过，总比没爱好

Suddenly missed Kokoro so went to check it out... and realised it changed. All the old flash files are gone. What they showcase though is the classic Rain & Tear
and Ai Qing 886... and they say there is an upcoming show
...

Still remember the first time I watch Kokoro was because of Star


Sighz all these years, I never thought of buying Wu Ruo Quan book either. But I was never disappointed by the flash from his story.

Seeing Rain & Tear ad again, I decided to re-read my post on it and found the quote ... and the song.
錯過的愛，通常也是愛的過錯。
有些人，因為太愛對方而失去自己。
有些人，則因為太愛自己而失去對方。
幸福，其實是懂得割捨之後的滿足。
--> http://arielm.blogspot.com/2004/12/blog-post.html

It has been 2.5 years, but somehow I felt like nothing change. Lately I re-read back what I posted and realised after so many years, I still hold the same attitude with regards to my life. All these years, maybe there are people who tried to change me, people who I tried to change for. Hmm .. suddenly i have a cest la vie feeling!

Anyway I saw another quote in 吴若权《爱过，总比没爱好》
不要因为害怕分离；就不肯相聚。
也不要因为或许会分手；就不敢相爱。
爱情，和人生中许多事情一样——
过程比结果重要；爱过总比没爱好。

Coincidentally At Dolphin Bay also dealt with this topic in episode 11. Maybe I will talk more about it again.. and maybe I willn't. I'm just tired... maybe a one-liner, the girls in the show knows love and dares to love; the guys in the show is forever hesitant, fickle and afraid to show...

幸福卸守

Waited for a new kokoro show for very long already. So happy to see it. And realised all 5 episodes were out. Is quite a short happy love story.

There is a very thought provoking quote :
世界上最遥远的距离,就是共同生活的两个人,却感受不到彼此心理的温度.

Usually its more famous version is :
世界上最遥远的距离，不是生与死而是我就站在你的面前，你却不知道我爱你

Thus I am shocked to hear this quote actually. It is like saying 同床异梦. How scary can it be. No wonder they say there are 2 sides to a coin.

Anyway in the show, there was also the talk about freedome, the freedom inside you. The freedom that allows you to feel for the world. Yes I want that kind of freedom too, to be able to feel for the world, to be able to see what most people are not seeing.

In the end the guy and the girl did end up together but what is the actual ending, nobody knows. It is afterall just a feel good movie for me only. A movie that has my freedom in it...

Sunya's Blog

Had decided to go and check up if Summer Rhapsody has the ending already, and was not disappointed. Hmm, I can only say the little girl is very cute =D

Other than that, my only interest is to find out the story of all these stars. Coz it was quite interesting hearing the mum telling the Pisces story & the dad telling the Virgo story.

Watched the music video too. As usual, Sunya is the one singing, and as usual it sound so fabalous. Then I saw a link to her blog, Wah even she blogs now. All in chinese so as usual I just skim through. It's tough reading chinese "p . Only Wisely & I-Weekly can force me to read the stuff word for word but even then, it only works for a limited time span.

Anyway, Sunya actually wrote down the lyrics. Coolz. Thanks so much to her, I need not typed & refer my dictionary countless times.

Here's it :
三個夏天

詞:吳若權 曲:Ashly

打開門讓我走進 你的房間 卻還有別人在裡面
關了心感情總會 慢慢沉澱 怎麼也回不到從前

閉上眼以為你會 消失不見 孤單地度過了幾年
張開眼愛已走遠 我們之間 又多了另一個夏天

用真心換謊言 寧願被自己騙
這個世界能不能夠同時有 三個夏天 我只能
走到海角天邊 等你的決定 出現
明確地說你愛我不會改變 直到永遠

用真心換謊言 讓愛回到原點
整個世界到了最後只剩下 一個夏天 我陪你
走到海角天邊 當淚如潮水 湧現
溫柔地說我愛你不會改變 直到永遠

海岸線被風吹動 相思纏綿 重逢是最美的預言
瓶子裡有一封信 帶著夢想 等待著有情人發現
我和你會再續前緣

Oh what watching this movie, felt like the "message in the bottle" feeling. But is just a touch and go feeling. Other than the fact the little gal is called 'Pin Pin' haha. But it sounds quite nice on the little gal too.

KoKoRo BLOG!

GOSH! Kokoro has a blog!!!

ok I haven't been updating myself with kokoro news, partly because that period of time I was unable to view the Summer Rhapsody page. Unsure why also..

anyway this blog looks cool. it mentioned my favt show : 戀雨 too =D Asking us for comments on a different ending.

Actually, if really change the ending, 戀雨 might not be as touching as it seems already. Because the ending is what 戀雨 so sad, yet so touching. I know I don't want such an ending, but in life, alot of things cannot be controlled. If am faced with such ending in real life, cannot accept also must accept.

If we all had a choice, then life would be too smooth for us, and we would all be too weak for any setbacks.

Anyway, talk is cheap. I know deep down, I also wish got an easier path in life, because at times, the going gets tough. What you don't expect to get, be it colleague's treatment, bosses' treatment, might just all fall into your lap. Cannot swallow also must swallow. Cannot accept also must accept. If want to defy, also must find valid reason before you defy. Everything you say 'God is Unfair', is just too unfair to God too...

Oops sidetracked, anyway blogging this URL down so that next time can find it again..

Gonna watch the flash files now...

Ai Qing 886

I just realised that epi 2 has Rain&Tear scene in it. Gosh, when I saw them 'Acting' the scene out, I immediately went to re-watch Rain&Tear Epi 5. That part was the female lead teaching her friend to Let Go. Re-watching it, I can still feel the turmoil when you Let Go.

Anyway the whole show has completed. And it does have a happy ending. I find this story abit like eternal sunshine of the spotless mind with all the removing memories technology. In that show, the conclusion is the person who you wishes to forget is the ONE. In this show, the conclusion is whether the memories are bitter or sweet, they are there to play a part in your growing up and understanding of mankind. Thus it should not easily removed at a zap.

Hmm does that mean we should never invent or drink "Wang Qing Shui" hee hee...

給我一杯忘情水　換我一生不傷悲
就算我會喝醉　就算我會心碎
不會看見我流淚

Actually I think sometimes some memories are best forgotten else it will impedes your pace to a brighter future... but i emphasis only SOME rare memories.

Rain & Tears Last Epi

Actually I saw the story very very long ago. After seeing, I felt sad. So did not have the mood to write. One week later I fell sick and was sick for a week plus.. thus drag till now...

Went to see the flash again. Still has that sad feeling =(

I can't believe it that the guy never see the girl at all in the end. And that just because of a missed chance, the girl leaves this world forever, leaving all feelings unsaid. But if everything also must spell out, I guess this love story will lose its magic touch.

A missed opportunity, an uncompleted conversation, a never-ending love story. Sometimes such story makes you realise the fragility of life, and that a wrong step and you might be missing the one thing which you will always cherish in your heart. However it is the fragileness of life that makes you know what is the feeling of cherish. And maybe only by losing it then you realise that it is something of utmost importance to you.

Watch the mtv too as my friend sent me yesterday. Wah listening to the music, totally immersed in this sad love story. On the spur of moment, I went to slowly type out the lyrics. Tough! haha because my Han Yu Pin Yin is never good. Thankfully the lyrics is quite short and simple, yet there are some words which I thought was this 'spelling' only to realise it is another 'spelling' after checking my dictionary haha.


Here is the lyrics :

（你知道吗 在雨天认识的人 会变成好朋友啊)

多么想再 遇见你
想遇见你都在梦里

多么想要 忘记你
像忘记自己不容易

当眼泪 瞬间化成雨
让爱情 消失在雨里
整颗心 被想念 揪在一起

爱恋着雨 就像猜不透的谜
爱恋着你 眼泪淋湿了记忆
好想拥抱你
认真对你 说我愿意
永远不分离
这一切都已成过去

爱恋着雨 我恋着雨恋着你
爱到最后 听见心也在叹息
相约在雨季
却又和你 擦肩而去
注定要别离
伞下的 幸福不属于
我和你

注定要别离
伞下的 幸福不属于
我和你

Somehow I find this lyrics has a tinge of regret in it. Maybe that is why I love it so much because I tend to regret some stuff. Tend to look back and wonder if I had done it differently, what will be the outcome. But at the end of the song, the singer has realised that this is fate, that it was never meant to be. No matter how much you wish you have not given up this love, what's done cannot be undone. Sounds terrible but very true. Every path we take, every decision we make from the day we become responsible towards our life, will result in our present circumstance.

If only we can indulge in some irresponsibility *wistful grin*

p/s : on a side note I realise my Hello software is not working (suspect is the SP2 at fault sighz) Miss putting up pictures =( Shall see if I can remove SP2 or not.

《冬季到台北來看雨- 戀雨》

About 1 mth plus ago, I wrote the ending quote for this story. Today, I saw the same quote in Kokoro when they are publicising the cd for Rain & Tears. And I feel it is a more complete quote.

錯過的愛，通常也是愛的過錯。
有些人，因為太愛對方而失去自己。
有些人，則因為太愛自己而失去對方。
幸福，其實是懂得割捨之後的滿足。

With the first line and last line, somehow this phrase seems more complete, more meaningful, more solemn.

How I wish I can buy the cd too. Then I get to hear the music every time. I am quite addicted to the music. Like intoxicated feeling.

I know the story will not have a happy ending. Said that before and reaffirmed after reading the story. Yet I still am hoping for the last 2 epi to faster come out.

I used to think Rain is God's Tears. Whenever a couple break up, the sky will be crying for the lost love. Maybe is my romantism ideology at work. Thus I used to feel a rainy day is a gloomy day.

And I guess the ending will be a raining day... pitter patter pitter patter

【任我遨游】

刚开始我并不是很迷这部戏。可是到了剧情的尾声，也开始也来也精彩， 我也开始追看了。
可能是因为何亦萱这个角色吧。总觉得我的个性有一点像她。她不喜欢背负压力。她寻求自由，不愿成为人家的负担。她独立，爱环游世界。我是那么希望有她的勇气。虽然这也显示出她的自私，因为她只为自己活，从来不为家人或爱人着想。
也因为这样，她最后失去了她最爱的人，也无法了解她最亲的妹妹。我永远记得陆凯威对她说“感情失去了，是在也无法找回来” 人总是在失去的时候才知道自己走宝了。可能使人的本性吧！
我也记得谢家俊说过“爱情因该是简单，快乐的。”的确，如果你在爱一个人的时候，发现爱得很痛苦，很不快乐，你是该反省一下了。若爱得那么痛苦，那因该不是爱吧！
我好想去潜水啊！到不同地方了解他们的文化。看看海洋的奥妙。这个梦想能不能实现呢？

恋雨 / 冬季到台北来看雨

After reading 冬季到台北来看雨, I kept thinking of its end quotes.

有些人,因为太爱对方而失去自己.
有些人,则因为太爱自己而失去对方.

This has long been a known fact. Everybody knows that if you are afraid of love, you will never be loved. Everybody knows that if you are afraid of life, you have never lived before. But yet everybody chose to never be loved, never lived before. So if someone, just someone shows the courage to open up, everybody becomes in awed! And then the thought that runs in their minds is "I will never be as daring as that person. It is just too embarassing!"

So should I open my heart out and gets chided for being a 笑柄 or should I stay muted and lived forever in the dark...

Being vocal in this story only has 2 endings :
1) You get the dream guy who is also waiting for you.
2) You get insulted by the jerk who is just making fun of you.

Life is but a gamble, that is my conclusion.

Rain & Tears Episode 3 =D .. so happy to see it. I did not know that all these kokoro flash comes from books until my friend tells me. Maybe some day i shall go find the story books to read. But for now, i shall indulge in the flash.  

Rain & Tears Epi 3

Of all the character, i like the 'Fei Fei' very much. This little gold fish has big big eyes which will stare at you when you talk to him. This little fish is a gift from the male lead to the female. A companion for the female lead when the male lead is not around. A good listener to hear about what the female lead's feelings are. Somehow I suspect that the first 3 episodes are happy, which is too good to be true, and the tears will come pouring soon...