Personality Test

Took this test many days ago from a friend who I kinda lost contact... one of my really treasured sec sch fren. Not that he is gonna to read this blog but that doesn't stop me from saying that line coz ... seriously 1000 times, he really is a very good listener & advisor throughout my sec sch/jc/initial uni life phase. Without him, I might not be half the ME I am??

Anyway here's the result:

You're complex, thoughtful and never content to skate on the surface. Chances are you veer towards being so analytical and introspective that even positive qualities can seem like faults. The truth is that you have a very perceptive, gentle spirit.

You hate chaos at work and prefer a structured environment and sometimes you feel undervalued by your boss. There's a part deep inside you that's aching to make more money.

And that's just scratching the surface!

There is a detailed report but not going to blog it.. that would be telling too much about myself haha.. The reason I'm blogging now is because I'm thinking... and thinking.. and thinking about myself lately.

First question I ask myself, why do I blog?

I'm a listener by nature. I don't like talking, and it is extremely obvious when I'm in a super crowded situation. The more crowded the place, the quieter I am, and the more I wished I'm in a corner. So why do I blog? That is like being verbal. It has been said that blogging become a phenomenon partly because people can write what they want to say and still remain anonymous. Not true. Everything one says will lead the reader (hopefully there is at least one reader) to know more about the writer. And I like to be mysterious. So why blog? I ask myself so many times I think I’m fed up with myself too. In the end I decided I blog because I’m too lazy to write my diary… lame excuses. But with blogging, I can just type anytime so long my computer is on and I do face the computer at least 8 hours a day, Monday to Saturday. So maybe blogging is really an easier way to keep track of my thoughts.

Which leads me to my second question, why do I think?

I have too much thoughts running in my mind, am a real worrier at heart that sometimes it is impossible to concentrate on the urgent task at hand. I can be rushing a program, then fritter my time surfing the net for some impromptu thoughts. I always have negative thoughts, of people being unhappy of myself, of myself not performing to its utmost (self-confessed self-critic). Admit it, I have very low self-esteem. I need to be more confident of myself. But it has been an arduous task. How can you stop a self-critic from criticising herself right? Then if she keep criticising herself, how is she going to be more confident of herself? It all boils down the thoughts in her brain. The lesser she think, the better for her. Hmm then how do I think less? Gosh I think I will never stop thinking if I keep on like these…

Reading on 13th Apr

What Covers You That which influences the general atmosphere or environment (current situation)		Queen of Cups Briefly: You could be about to achieve a position that is very dear to your heart or perhaps child birth or a wedding. In Detail... The picture on this card shows a beautiful woman, dressed in a gown that could be a wedding dress. This is holding a cup between her hands as if she has just been given this by someone in front of her. She has lovely blonde hair that is braided and she wears pearl earrings and some pearls around her hair. She wears an elaborate head dressing and there is a large fan in the background. She is stood beside the ocean. If this is you, then you may be about to get married or even have your first child. You are sensitive and caring and very family orientated. You are immaculately well groomed and have great pride in your appearance. You could be about to achieve a position that is very dear to your heart. If this is not you, then someone you know already, or whom you are about to meet, who is described by this card is about to enter your life and make a huge impact on your lifestyle.
What Crosses You Obstacles, conflicts or opposition in the path		Two of Cups Briefly: Perhaps a new love is going to appear and involve some long-range commitment for you, the birth of a child or new found love. In Detail... The picture on this card shows a man and a woman looking at each other and each one has a cup in the left hand and they are making a toast. There are some heavy black clouds in the background and these may indicate a period of time, such as further in the distance, or in the past. Perhaps a new love is going to appear and involve some long-range commitment for you. The number two can represent time as in days, weeks or months and this may indicate when the encounter will take place. The woman may also become pregnant early on in the relationship, or if a married couple have been trying and this has been delayed or hindered in some way, now it may eventuate. Also there can be a celebration of some kind and this of course could indicate the celebration of the birth of a child. If you are single and looking for romance, then it may be on its way and you could find this person proves to be your soulmate.
What Crowns You That which has gone before you, those past events and influences that have led you to this path		Eight of Pentacles Briefly: A keen eye for details may lead to you gaining a financial increase. In Detail... The picture on this card shows a dark haired man with a moustache bending over a table laden with coins. He has a hammer in his right hand and an engraving implement in his left hand. He is studiously working away making the coins with his hands. He is strong, muscular and very attentive to details. On the wall behind him are the results of his hard work, various pentacles displayed there for all to see, like awards. If you are this man then are you industrious and will lend a hand wherever possible. You have a keen eye for details and can be counted on to finish the days tasks. You may be about to come into a financial increase of some kind, which may be by your own efforts, or given to you for your own generosity in the past. If you are a woman you may be about to meed this man and he will be a loyal companion and a devoted husband and father if you choose to become united with him. He will be a good provider and keen to see that you get your needs met in every way.
What is Beneath You The current foundation and what you have access to build upon		Ten of Swords Briefly: A time to recuperate after an operation or period of sickness. In Detail... At first sight this card looks just awful. There is a picture of a person laying face down in the snow with ten swords stuck in his/her back with blood oozing out everywhere. This can give a very distressing impression to your client when seeing this card in their layout. However, generally the card is not as depressing as originally seemed. It can just be a time to recuperate after an operation, which could have involved the back or neck. This person may also be needing some bed rest from exhaustion or is possibly temporarily depressed due to a current situation. Time does heal all wounds. There are stars twinkling in the dark night sky in the background, giving hope and inspiration that dawn will eventually, and always does, arrive. Daylight is only hours away, if only we do not lose sight of that timely event. The person does recover, does carry on and move into the light of day with renewed vigour and enthusiasm. It just sometimes takes a little time and possibly some tender loving care. The month of October may be particularly significant in relation to some event connected to the picture on this card. All is not lost though, as the month comes and goes just like every other month and by November all is generally well again and life is back on track.
What is Behind You The past events or influences that have played a major role in bringing this situation to light		King of Cups Briefly: A proposal or proposition. In Detail... This card shows a man dressed in armour. He is holding a cup, as if offering it to someone on front of him. In the background is a blue sky, a river and some mountains and lush green trees and grass. It appears to be a Spring day. The man is clean shaven and good looking. He wears his uniform proudly. If this is you, then you may be about to propose to the object of your affection. If this is someone you know, then you may be on the receiving end of a proposal or proposition from this man. He is affectionate and caring and offers his pledge with sincerity and love. There could also be a new job offer and this may also involve a place at a distance.
What is Before You Immediate future and influences all about to come to light		Eight of Swords Briefly: A difficult situation to deal with. In Detail... This can be a difficult situation to deal with. There may be restrictions in your life that you would like to be freed from. It is also a mentally stressful occasion that requires clarity of thinking and forethought to resolve. If you keep your wits about you and refuse to be depressed you will manage to sail through this time with flying colours and be amazed at your strength of will when you have come out of the other end of the fog and retrospectively look back on how well you handled yourself and the dilemma you had faced. Endurance is the key to coping right now and your decisions may have far-reaching consequences. You will find you have matured throughout the process of dealing with your problems. You may have to let go of relationships and friendships and this will prove to be an unburdening for you and allow you the freedom to pursue your own goals. Do not be dismayed by these goodbyes, for they are a necessary part of your new path to follow, unhindered by a lifestyle that had cramped your style and your latent talents. Now you will start to blossom and to produce good works in whatever field you focus on right now. Allow flexibility in your thinking for fresh ideas and ways of doing things will open new doorways to your true destiny
Your-Self How you see yourself: a true reflection on your current attitudes and belief systems		Eight of Wands Briefly: A new love is coming into your life and very swiftly at that. In Detail... This card has a picture of eight wands running right across it. For some this can mean that a new love is coming into your life and very swiftly at that. It brings things quickly into focus and gives you the opportunity to seize a brilliant opportunity or improve your life in some way. You could also be about to move to a more tranquil setting in either your home life or the location or your work. A river or other picturesque scene may be part of your new environment, or you may meet someone special in just such a location. If you are planning a pregnancy, now may be your most fertile time. The energy of the season of Spring may make you feel inspired to be especially creative.
Around You How others from home or work or family view the situation		Knight of Cups Briefly: There is success ahead for you, especially if you follow your instincts at every turn. In Detail... The picture on this card shows a good looking, blue eyed, clean shaven man. He is wearing a head-dress of some type and is heavily draped in colourful clothing. He carries a wand in his left hand and a cup in his right. He appears regal and conservative. His calm outer nature may disguise a very gentle and sensitive soul. He may be born under a water sign of either Cancer, Scorpio or Pisces. He is compassionate, caring and considerate to others needs. In the background there is the ocean, which partly reflects his nature as being deep and potentially mysterious. If you are this man, you are on your way to reaching your goals. There is success ahead for you, especially if you follow your instincts at every turn. If you are a woman and you draw this card, you may be about to meet him and he will play a pivotal role in your life and may even become your husband. He will be protective of you and look upon the family as his most significant inspiration and reason for happiness.
Hopes and Fears That which one coverts that lies deep inside, hopes and fears are but a razors edge apart		Four of Wands Briefly: Perhaps the family is becoming more important to you or one long distant family member is coming to stay or you are planning to visit their home. In Detail... This is a beautiful card to behold. To me it appears that there is a castle in the distance, on a hill-top and the two wands on either side seem to represent the entrance or gateway to this lovely home. The garland of flowers draped over the wands give an impression of comfort, warmth and beauty. For some this card can mean that you are about to move house. The new one will be a significant improvement on the current abode. If you have already just moved, then the emphasis will be on relaxation and a sanctuary way from the hustle and the bustle of city life. A home in the country would be a suitable location to be living in. Serenity and peace will be the mode of daily living. Perhaps the family is becoming more important to you or one long distant family member is coming to stay or you are planning to visit their home, which is probably at a distance from where you are at the moment.
The Outcome Eventual outcome based on current card path		The Chariot Briefly: Travel awaits you. Should the other travel card, the six of swords also be in your card layout, then this is an indicator that you are to move across new ground, or maybe even purchase a mode of travel such as a car. In Detail... Generally speaking this card depicts some kind of travel. Should the other travel card, the six of swords also be in your card layout, then this is an indicator that you are to move across new ground. However, even by itself, as this is a major arcana card, travel is still a strong possibility. You may travel quite a distance and your goal is to get there, by whatever means you can find, even horseback if necessary. This can also mean that someone is coming from a long distance towards you. For some people this can represent getting a new mode of transport, such as buying your first car, or buying a new car or bike or whatever. The emphasis is on getting to your destination by the quickest route available. This card too is about choices. You may have to make a major decision around this time that will alter your circumstances quite dramatically. Do not resist change for that will disrupt the natural flow of events that are waiting to unfold for you. Also I have seen this card manifest in matters to do with re-decorating the home. Sometimes it is just new curtains or cushions, however the aim is to bring comfort into the home.

Love Story

It was a busy morning, approximately 8:30 am, when an elderly gentleman,
in his 80's, arrived to have stitches removed from his thumb. He stated
that he was in a hurry as he had an appointment at 9:00 am.

I saw him looking at his watch and decided, since I was not busy with
another patient, I would evaluate his wound. On exam it was well healed,
so I talked to one of the doctors, got the needed supplies to remove his
sutures and redressed his wound.

While taking care of his wound, we began to engage in conversation. I
asked him if he had an important appointment that morning, as he was in
such a hurry. The gentleman told me no, that he needed to go to the
nursing home to eat breakfast with his wife.

I then inquired as to her health. He told me that she had been there for
a while and that she was a victim of Alzheimer Disease.

As we talked, and I finished dressing his wound, I asked if she would be
worried if he was a bit late. He replied that she no longer knew who he
was, that she had not recognized him in five years now.

I was surprised, and asked him. "And you still go every morning, even
though she doesn't know who you are?"

He smiled as he patted my hand and said. "She doesn't know me, but I
still know who she is."

I had to hold back tears as he left and thought, "That is the kind of
love I want in my life."

True love is neither physical, nor romantic. True love is an acceptance
of all that is, has been, will be, and will not be.

The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything;
they just make the best of everything that comes their way.

Happiness doesn't depend on what you have but how contented you are.
It's not how others can make you happy but rather how you can make
others happy, even tho sometimes it's at the expense of your own
happiness.

Life is what we make it... always has been, always will be.


Author's Note : My dad had forwarded this mail to me. I find it touching in a sense, it is a very small gesture, but the impact it has is tremendous. After watching finish "Jewel in the Palace", I actually am feeling depressed. Not sure is it because I stayed up late every day to finish it, thus affecting my body. Or is it because school is starting and I start to feel stress again. Or because it is just me. The me who can never measure up to what I should be. If I have half of Dae Jang Geum's selfless, maybe I will not be so self critical of myself. I would have been more satisfied with my love life, my own life. I'm not sure... maybe I should go for tarot reading again...