No third time lucky for me

Hmm I'm not very used to the new blogger layout... and am not really in a mood to blog as I'm flying tonight and my itinerary is not done at all...

Plus I'm still upset that I got cheated a third time because I still did not catch my sunrise... sigh.. the first time, too cloudy... the second time, too slow... the third time, too fast (though my friend told me is cloudy also)... cheaterbug!!!

The route is the same as my last year's ultra marathon and thus I did not really practice the route as I know it is quite an easy flat path. Of course, not being in Singapore for the past 9 months is part of the reason I wasn't even practicing in Singapore's humid weather and I'm not sure if that is part of the reason for my poor starting. In fact I was nauseated at the start which I could not figure out if it is true butterflies in the stomach at work, the dinner or I was not feeling good health wise. After all I was rejected for blood donation again due to low blood pressure just 2 days ago and I was feeling light-headed at the start of the marathon.




Thus I barely made it to the U-Turn and kept wishing to be on the other side of the path. I remembered I was in ECP and I saw the top few runners on their ritarno journey, I was so envious. Kept wishing to see the U-turn soon. Itchyfinger was saying U-Turn was the most depressing point for him. But to me, U-turn was the point of motivation. For the last two race, the 20-30 interval, I always run faster. Though this time round, I did not pick up the speed and thus it seems I dropped in performance (having maintained my 21km in roughly about 2hrs 46 mins). But I was quite motivated to keep jogging at the slow pace until I see the slope back (last 3-4km). I remember my first time up that slope was with CL on NB Real Run. Coincidentally, this year's sundown is by NB. I don't really bother who the sponsors are anyway. But I remember how this slope killed me every time, especially the torturous 84 km where I had to climb up twice. So this year, I told myself I should continue slow jogging up the slope as a new accomplishment.

And I'm proud to say, I did it and thus this is my first marathon that I really did not walk as much as I expected. In addition, each marathons, I always seem to have dragged my pacer and for this one, I was feeling extremely bad that I was kinda dragging his performance again for the first 30km because he was running at a pretty good speed which i could not catch up at all. But thankfully, my determination to continue running for the last 12 km rubbed onto him as well as he had reached his mental block whereas I felt energized having drank that super-sweet energy gel (my pacer's advice that I should drink it with water came a kilometre too late when I finally met him at the next hydration point) and refused to stop jogging at least. (Short rest at hydration points allowed.)

Photography Credits: My ever motivating Pacer

The reward, I sliced off about 9 minutes.. not remarkable but well I can now say I can finish a full marathon within 6 hours right haha..
2009 Sundown Marathon - 6:16:14
2010 Spirit of Marathon - 6:07:26
2011 - 05:58:57

Anyway my results breakdown as follows
5km - 00:31:11
10km - 01:09:38
21km - 02:46:17
30km - 04:23:54
Chip Time - 05:58:57

And the reward for all the 'siao lang' (i.e. mad people) haha..

Oh I did try to catch sunrise after breakfast with Itchyfingers and pacer but hmm was too tired to wait too long for it. Body really could not take it after the event, slept the whole day away...

Lastly, good luck to Pacer for his 100km if he decides to challenge himself...

Photography Credits: Pacer

p/s: I'm debating whether this will be the last marathon... cheated too many times already haha...

House cleaning

I always knew it is hard work for my mum to clean up the house.. especially when we moved to a bigger apartment a decade ago. But it is only when I moved to a bigger apartment in Melbourne, that I really do understand the pains.

It is not as if the house was left in disarray. On the surface, things look fine. But when you start to touch, and as I move in, and I start to see the nooks and creaks and when I was brought up in a family where there is a certain level of hygiene (obviously not maintained by me)… I cannot help but feel the need to sanitise whatever I can. So I started with the toilet as that is nearest to the water source. Proceed to the bedroom that I will be sleeping. Found porn magazine and other trash and realised sigh, that why can’t I learn to close an eye like all my previous occupants. Anyway I gave up that Thursday night and went back to Blackman to sleep. Then Friday I decided to clean the kitchen, (as usual near the water source), and that’s when I realise what my friend had meant when she had taken the whole afternoon to scrub her oven clean… because I felt the same way for my microwave. Haha.. can see I’m the microwave person. After all I started cooking from it initially. So I cleaned the microwave and then the oven and the stove till it was passable. And I learnt why mum always clean up the kitchen after every session.. because when oil gets accumulated, it is not as simple as just wiping anymore. Even till today, I still feel that oily plastic feel. Sigh. And that includes the cabinets and stuff. I also concluded I will only move in as late as possible because afterall Blackman is newer and definitely so much cleaner. (And yes it is a good idea to do a weekly clean-up because likewise dirt when accumulated really gets stubborn.)

Once in awhile I will start to wish for mum to be here to clean for me.. and then I remind myself that the reason I moved is because it is time to take the next step. Looking back, from moving out, staying alone, cooking and now, cleaning.. I am taking steps to learn how to take care of myself. And I ought to be thankful. Obviously if I follow the typical steps of most of my counterparts, it will be moving out + cooking + cleaning lump up. The only pro, you have another person to share the burden haha. So for me, I have to do all these in baby steps.

Even as I am writing this, I still have the 2nd bedroom, the balcony and the doorway uncleaned. And I had planned to take it slowly as I am going hols for the Easter weekend. except my friend suddenly sprang a surprise and asked if can bunk in my place next week.. the day after I came back. So now pressed for time, I’m trying to clean up the 2nd bedroom as much as I could. I really hope they don’t mind the cleanliness of this place *cross fingers*.

And as usual, I will say, now that I understand how tiring it is, I should try to help my mum when back in SG.. but knowing myself, I may be out daily to lift even one finger in the household chores. But I really do appreciate her…sincerely. Thank you so much Mummy.

written on 20th April 2011

 p/s: Publishing this on Mother's Day... Obviously not hoping she will read it... just hoping for something...

Political Apathetic

Still remember my first time voting?

I remember how political apathetic I was back then. 5 years. Time flies. My political knowledge is still stuck at 10/100. I still like Sylvia Lim. I still wish George Yeo in too. I still wonder why all the talents are in Aljunied. Why can't some of them come to my constituency.

So what can I do? I am stuck in Melbourne. May is the month where it is very important for me since young. It is the day where I usually get broke. Kidding. But it has been planned that if there is any date I would return back, they are xmas, cny and end May. So between family and country, I really don't have much of a choice. It is decided that I will fly back end May.

And then I read about the opposition and realised Mr. Goh is part of that A-team I had like in the previous election. But what is the use when the rest of his team is so quiet that I hardly know if they can talk at all.

Friend tell me you vote not for your constituency but for the nation. On whose voice you want in the parliament. But I can't hear these voices? Not from the incumbent nor the other side.

Friend tell me life is like this. Win some, lose some. But why do some have to vote talents away and some have to vote imbecile in due to the theory of 'the lesser evil'.

Then I have friends saying it is such a hassle, it is irritating to keep seeing and hearing. Of course too much of something starts to get tiring. And nobody likes to hear bashing constantly. We need to hear something of substance still. We need to know if our dreams are reachable.

And what if both are useless. Is it worth the flight back? But it is my voice. Would I live to regret? I was told off to stop being silly and to just stay here. But I have the ever growing regret, the feeling that my voice has been robbed off, silenced. And that I feel like a spineless coward hiding in a faraway city.. because I could not decide which is the lesser evil. I feel like I turned my back to my country.

Fair is foul, and foul is fair:
Hover through the fog and filthy air.
- Macbeth

Funny that my friend always said that I will give up my country one day because of my yearning to swim into the big ocean. And that the past few months I am here, everybody like to ask if I'm staying here permanently. But I never wanted to give up my country, for the sole reason that it is where my family is. But then when it is a choice between family and country, it sure is a tough decision and whichever decision I made, I lived to regret it as I do now.

I can only hope that Mr. Goh will get back his deposit. Perhaps I will drop by a cathedral to seek forgiveness for being so cowardly.. and causing so much mayhem back home.

And I promised myself that next time, I would register as an overseas voter regardless. But I am fully aware, this year, may be the only chance. And opportunity doesn't knock twice.