First muse in 2011

I was searching for something when I ended up reading this

Feelings don’t go anywhere, they fade.
Feelings intensify when you have memories of the person, especially happy memories.
Feelings fade when the memories are no longer important to you due to a change in priority.
from 2008 June 16

That was a friend's reply to me. Recently when I posed this question again, I think cL also responded that feelings don't disappear. And ya I told her mine don't. It just gets boxed up. Some gets buried. Some is still lying in the open. Of course not all feelings must be BGR right? Hahaha.

But I decided yesterday to close a particular box. Funny that http://alittlepoison.blogspot.com/ website has closed too. Seriously the world keeps changing, even if I don't move on, others do.

Hmm I still cannot find what I first started to be finding. Maybe I did not blog on that then. Anyway I was trying to find if I had blogged about 50 First Dates before. A movie where the female protagonist wakes up every morning, forgetting everything that had happened beforehand. Her memory stopped on the day she had an accident. And thus you could say everyday is a new beginning for her. It could be exasperating and yet interesting I guess. Well and her lover had to court her everyday since she forgot him everyday haha. Doc had mentioned that people always believed that honeymoon period only lasted 3 months. And after a year, couple will start squabbling. I guess that is the best way to keep honeymoon period forever, and probably keep a union forever too. Since it probably is the lady that remember enough to pick up half of the fights? The other half of the fights occurred because the gentleman did something wrong, definitely "p.

I was also thinking about cl's Distance post and wondering if 50 First date is a bit similar to LDR. She had used a marathon analogy to describe LDR (which amused me tremendously especially when she decided to qualify me up to the task.. faintz!)

First 10 Km – easy
10-20m – route may perhaps seem monotonous
20-30km – arduous journey with goal nowhere in sight
30-40km – the light at the end of the tunnel seeping through with the last 2km plus to go..
And the final dash represents the fruit of the labour – if both flowers agree to grow and flourish together, why shouldnt they attempt a LDR?
From cl's Distance post

Hmm just felt that the 50 First Dates will soon become monotonous and arduous and if it is never-ending, then will it still work? And yet it will always be in the honeymoon period, unable to proceed to the small quarrel/big quarrel stage and thus it may work. Haha and so maybe when you are in a LDR, think of it as having First Dates everytime you meet the person because seriously, you do not know when you will next meet the person again and because actually you may have forgotten when is the last time you hug each other.

Oh and I agree with cL on this part
"To make a relationship work, the effort required to keep this commitment is pivotal. Each individual needs to have a strong mind and know what he/she wants and withstand the distractions and events in the world. Whenever one party loses the interest in maintaining the relationship, it will just collapse even with a single source of energy feeding it."

And the word relationship need not be about love. It could be on friendship too. So in 2011, I decided to finally stop being naïve and let go a particular friendship that I see no point in holding. I'm grateful that the broken promise was never fulfilled, and I'm grateful that this friend made me see light what I had been avoiding for a decade. I don't like to lose friends, but sometimes it is not about me losing a friend I guess. As long as I don't lose the lesson I gained, that should suffice.

To end this post, I was reminded of this again...

I asked God, why He gave me the boxes,
Why the gold and the black with the hole?
"My child, the gold is for you to count your blessings,
The black is for you to let go.
From 2005 Feb 4

My boxed feelings for this friend, had slowly turn black with an ever growing hole. To thank for being blessed for those 4 years and to let go because it is 2011 and I should have a new gold box, pure gold this time.

p/s: cL remember I told you about THE HOPE! Was seeing MTV and find this song highly entertaining.. and reminds me of THE HOPE haha.



Catch the official video here.

Haven't Met You Yet lyrics
Songwriters: Buble, Michael Steven; Chang, Alan; Foster, Amy;

I'm not surprised, not everything lasts
I've broken my heart so many times, I stopped keeping track
Talk myself in, I talk myself out
I get all worked up, then I let myself down

I tried so very hard not to lose it
I came up with a million excuses
I thought, I thought of every possibility

And I know someday that it'll all turn out
You'll make me work, so we can work to work it out
And I promise you, kid, that I give so much more than I get
I just haven't met you yet

I might have to wait, I'll never give up
I guess it's half timing, and the other half's luck
Wherever you are, whenever it's right
You'll come out of nowhere and into my life

And I know that we can be so amazing
And, baby, your love is gonna change me
And now I can see every possibility

And somehow I know that it'll all turn out
You'll make me work, so we can work to work it out
And I promise you, kid, I give so much more than I get
I just haven't met you yet

They say all's fair
In love and war
But I won't need to fight it
We'll get it right and we'll be united

And I know that we can be so amazing
And being in your life is gonna change me
And now I can see every single possibility

And someday I know it'll all turn out
And I'll work to work it out
Promise you, kid, I'll give more than I get
Than I get, than I get, than I get

Oh, you know it'll all turn out
And you'll make me work so we can work to work it out
And I promise you kid to give so much more than I get
Yeah, I just haven't met you yet

I just haven't met you yet
Oh, promise you, kid
To give so much more than I get

I said love, love, love, love
Love, love, love, love
(I just haven't met you yet)
Love, love, love, love
Love, love
I just haven't met you yet

Source: elyrics.net

Haha so gal, do more cooking, do more grocery shopping cos perhaps just haven't met X yet.