Skoushi Rambling

A stress free mind in a stress free body.
A focused, alert mind in a still body, free of tension.
Emotional calm, physically free of tension, mental space... Peace...

The quote came with the Slice of Life article from 938 Live.

The article arrived when I was still in the zombie mood. I know my performance lately is unsatisfactory to GA. Every tests/obstacles he set for me, I failed them miserably. Yet he indulged in me still, having answered a few queries that had been troubling me. The problem though is the truth is harsh, and I could not take it. So I denied it. Guess that angered he and he decided to punish me. To wake me up and tell me that nothing matters in this world. By taking away the one thing that I deemed most important for me now.

I deeply regret my mistake now. But of course, the loss is something I really cannot accept since I had painstakingly searched the information and had taken months to accumulate.

I did consider continuing my incoherent state of mind for the rest of my life but that was tough because I hate to explain my behaviour. And I suppose I would fail this test that GA gave me too which I don’t really want to. I need to accumulate brownie points if I want to meet my maker soon.

So I forced myself to help finish up the report, and skim through some articles. And I forced myself to continue a particular system. Oh but that is because of another reason haha.

From today onwards, nothing matters anymore… I have to learn how to let go, I have to learn how to give up. Somehow the image of how Orlando Bloom had to cut up his heart for the chest keeps hovering in my mind though…. Weird.

p/s : Coincidentally, something led me to re-read my this old post...

I asked God, why He gave me the boxes,
Why the gold and the black with the hole?
"My child, the gold is for you to count your blessings,
The black is for you to let go."

I sincerely believe the time is ripe for letting go. I have to...