If you love someone who doesn't love you in return, be gentle with yourself. There is nothing wrong with you. You are not undesirable. The other person is judging you based on his or her own limited perceptions, experiences and values, and you should never use that as a benchmark. What matters is how you see yourself.
Conversely, if someone loves you but you don't love him or her, do not take advantage. Some of us may think It's just harmless fun or as long as I don't make a verbal commitment, it should be alright. If someone loves you or thinks he or she loves you, the feeling will probably grow more intense with time. If you accept their affection without making it clear that you will never be on the same level romantically, then you're only encouraging their feelings for you. Love is a gift, and if you know you can't accept it, refuse it gently.
If your partner chooses to leave a relationship that seems perfectly fine to you, do not assign blame. If your partner is resolute and has made it clear that it's not going to work out, do not push. Do not try to look for reasons. In such cases, it's probably better to let it go because pushing is likely to hurt you even more. You'll drive yourself insane wondering why.
More importantly, do not think less of yourself. It's usually the blameless party who bears the torment of love's departure. You did nothing wrong and there was nothing you could've done to prevent the passage of love. It passes us like a leaf on the breeze which may or may not choose to settle. The real reason is not something you can know.
Love can sometimes move in mysterious paths and if you're unable to let love go its way, you'll only end up like the wasp which dies of exhaustion while trying to break out through a closed window.
Someone once said that many lovers get it wrong by seeing their hearts as empty places that will be filled by love. They then begin to look at love as something that flows to them rather than from them. They forget that the secret of love is that it is a gift, and that it can be made to grow only by giving it away.
The world is a complex and immense place, more so than you might imagine. In the wake of a failed relationship, human beings have the tendency to make the world collapse into a little box, in which no or few opportunities exist. They draw the curtains when they really should be letting the light in.
But if you keep your heart open and learn to give love rather than expect it to come to you, love will happen for you again.
Bflygal's comment :
It's usually the blameless party who bears the torment of love's departure.
So true, but who ever believes...
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