你在观戏时，觉得似曾相识？
你在听歌时，会被心动吗？
你在看书时，仿佛看了自己的故事？
观戏的人为什么会入戏太深，
因为他把自己的经历也 混淆在一起。
听歌的人为什么会扣人心弦，
因为他把自己的记忆也融入在里面。
看书的人为什么会可歌可泣，
因为他把自己的故事也写进去。
原来每个人都会有共鳴，
原来你的经历不是那么特殊，
原来你不是这世界唯一的演员。
但你是你人生里，最耀眼的演员，
但你是你心里，最动人的歌手，
但你是你布落格里，最玲珑的作家。
(edited)
3 days ago
4 comments:
haha now i realise how come i never comment on this post becos it is so good that I never imagine you are the one who wrote it =p
hmm the content is really attractive, the best thing a writer can do is to capture the reader's heart via words, you manage to do it, well done! =]
Room for improvement? Of course there is, read more chinese materials, especially the more classic ones, appreciate the choice of words by ancient poets, with more practice and time, you can definitely write masterpieces. =D
Sighz I don't know I just got suan or got praised... And I was waiting for this comment for 1 month.... And when I was asking for this comment yesterday, I think I got suan also... Sighz...
Anyway in previous post, I mentioned that I wanted to write something but was having some difficulty. I was referring to this post haha... Not sure when will I write something of this kind... when I have that feeling again bah.
喂! 你這個人究竟是什麽構造，爲何這樣難伺候的？全說好話你就說虛僞，全是批評又說人家以大欺小。好啦，我現在褒貶參半，應該說是非常中肯的了，你又說人家suan 你，麻不麻煩了一點？
唉! 沒辦法了，只好像老師替學生改作文那樣，一點一點慢慢地糾正吧：
1）可能因爲你的英文基礎比較強，所以我覺得你在這篇文章裏犯了一些英譯中的毛病。例如，怎麽可以把read books 直接寫成讀書呢？讀書，中國人會理解成study，study 自己的故事已經不make sense，也本末倒置，歪曲了你的原意“看書、看到自己的故事”了。
2）“掺在一起”，這個phrase 太口語化了，可考慮採用一些比較文雅的詞語，例如：混淆、融合、牽連等等。
3）“感動”太common，下次可採用“扣人心弦”來描述歌曲的魅力。
4）“同感”理論上是對的，但若要句子漂亮一點，我建議“共鳴”這個詞語。
5）最後那段尚算及格，暫時沒有投訴，遲些找到了弊端才告訴你。
怎樣，麻煩的版主小姐，滿意了嗎? =]
haha, this is definitely better than the original one, but of course, still alot of room for improvement, so haha, still the same phrase, read more, take note of and appreciate how others write, I look forward to see your next masterpiece. =]
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