告訴自己 我要堅強

Bell 宇田
我们

記得從前的那個走廊
你搭著我的肩膀
是我一生 最好的時光
因為有你我勇敢夢想
哪怕千萬人阻擋
朋友是一種信仰

 * 好想 輕輕靠在
你的身旁 和從前一樣
不去 任何地方
只要有你 都是天堂
我的心事你幫我收藏
你頭髮我幫你綁
一起經過了憂傷
為何 眼光放得這麼長
如果最好 就在身旁

Repeat *
 好想 牽著你們
走在街上 看人來人往
就算 白髮蒼蒼
也要記得 那老地方
今天晚上我卸下了妝
看著自己的臉龐
告訴自己 我要堅強

I heard this song on 2nd June, on a train to Amsterdam Muiderpoort. The first train station I alighted a decade ago after the snow storm with my friend CL.

I have been thinking a lot of things. From friendship, work, love, marriage... I wondered, and i pondered as this song repeats again and again.

These days, I give up alot on family and friends because of the huge amount of work and stress. To the extent I worry daily, if i will die of overwork like the Japanese do. I worry about the pain on the left of my chest daily. I worry about the lack of sleep. And I think about the past where I have my friends to support me then.

How do I resolve this vicious life cycle? How will GA guide me? When I lost my wallet the next day (3rd June)... the very first time I lost a wallet.. and in a foreign country... I started reflecting. Has life brought me to such a state that I am incapable of even performing my every day duties. I am grateful that GA still protected me (I think). At least I only lost a credit card and an ov card. I dont remember what else is in the wallet other than cash and receipts. And because I got tired that I gave up collecting receipts, it felt I got tired of living and spending too.

It took me one week... and I still question myself every day... why did I lost my wallet. Is it so that I dont lose my sanity and thus this is just a pre-warning.

Month of June, where I take leave every mon & fri to force myself to rest.
Will I get the respite I need desperately? Do I know what life is installed for me? Can I find my path?

25th June update:
After taking 3 days off, I cancelled the rest of my last 2 week leave ... To be taken in Aug :)