Restless Ramblings

Today is rambling day because I am feeling restless.

Monday I went for my company’s 2km walkathon. It was a drizzling day. Due to some hiccups, the registration took longer than usual, but this is actually a blessing in disguise. Because when it finally registered all the participants, the drizzle has stopped.

It is a refreshing experience for me because I never brisk walk 2 km. I either walk slowly, or if I’m exercising, I jog. But to walk briskly 5 rounds, seems a torture to me. Half the mental me wants to give up and walk slowly. The other half wants to break into a run to end this agony once and for all. Thank goodness I have my colleague besides me. He is a very good walker. He might be a senior citizen but I certainly have difficulty keeping up with him. Anyway at the last round, I heaved with a sigh of relief. Unfortunately I am not sure about the BMI and heart rate relationship so I’m not sure if I’m fit or not. Guess not though!

Tuesday was planned to do my school assignment day. But I ended up only drawing the GUI screen. Kind of let my group mates down. But I had been trying to amend my program to launch a system out soon for the whole day. And to continue programming seems so torturous to me. Besides it was the day a new show starts. I called it the Pilot show. And I wanted to watch it because of Flora Chan. But in the first episode, to see a lady put her whole life into fate, seems scary to me. Oh well, hopefully the next few episodes, she will matured up.

Wednesday is today. I thought through why I’m so restless. And I found the reason – Hyorin.
When I first heard the Roseline story, I felt sad. When I heard it a second time, I felt pain.
When I first see her encounter with the queen, I felt sympathy. When I saw it the second time, I felt hurt.
When I first witness her confession to the media, I felt helpless. When I witnessed it a second time, I felt despondent.

And I finally realised why I’m so affected by Hyorin. I felt I understand her when she rejected the prince’s proposal to fulfil her dream. I felt I understand her when she started to regret when the prince is with someone. I felt I understand her when she is determined to bury her love.

There are of course other things I don’t agree with her, the crying over spilt milk part, the wanting to get it back part, the committing suicide part, and the waiting part. Basically human are greedy by nature. We wish to fulfil our dreams, to have our freedom, to have independence and to be loved too. But sometimes, love and dreams cannot co-exist. Then what should we choose? To be a ballerina or to be a princess?

[9th Nove 2006]
Restless Wednesday became Tired Wednesday by the end of the day. Work till I'm supposed to stop. After that, attended my manager's father-in-law wake. Reached home watched the taped version of Goong, bath and then I caught the tired bug. Couldn't even last for the pilot show. Oh but I'm no longer restless.. because Hyorin has found her relief. Phew!