More on LDR

Due to the LDR mood.. I selected 2 inflight film on LDR theme before sleeping the rest of the night away...

First movie was 'Going The Distance'. The lady was from San Francisco who did a 6 weeks intern in New York. And met a guy there. Initially they did not want anything permanent as she is only there 6 weeks. But on the last day of the 6 weeks, they could not let go and decided to have a long distance relationship instead.

It was funny to see them make claims over each other after fear of unfaithfulness. Using words like 'exclusive to each other only' reminded me of how my colleague is doing that too to make claims on his gf.

When the male protagonist flew to San Francisco on Thanksgiving, she was so happy. But the moment he touched down back at New York, he missed her even more. Thus I wondered if absence makes the heart grows fonder, then perhaps in the first place, you should not even fly over to make things worst by making emotions run deeper.

Oh ya and I remember a scene where another LDR couple suggested to him to try phone sex.. Lots of it, to ease the loneliness. And he wanted to try it with her. But they were arguing over they were in a car or in a plane, and she was lying about what she wore saying it's a fantasy afterall. In the end the moment passed and it failed. Perhaps phone sex may work. But I guess you cannot have 2 person to lead in the phone sex. Imagine arguing over the venue, no wonder all the urge died fast especially when phone sex has just lived on imagination alone.

And everybody was saying that a relationship cannot last without seeing each other for months. She tried to find reporting jobs in New York but it was slum period. Likewise he was unable to find a job in San Francisco. Although she was willing to wait tables in New York, and he did ask her to come over as he really really want her to live together. But she had an offer with a newsagent in San Francisco and he could not bear to see her give up such a good chance just to be with him as no matter how sweet the initial period will be, she will resent him later on.

But they cannot carry on the relationship with no physical contact either. And thus he steeled his heart and parted with her confessing her deepest feelings, and him finally shedding tear (he only cried at his first break-up).

6 months later, he did quit his job (which he hate) and moved to Los Angelas which he explained to the geographically clueless lady, is just an hour flight away from Sans Francisco.

And the ending is a happy ending I guess. But I remember this part where they argued as she felt why she had to be the one that made the move, why he kept saying there will be a way. A way which she can't see. Will there really be a way?

Hanamizuki (Dogwood)
Meaning: To reciprocate
May your love bloom a hundred year

Is the second movie I watched. Also on LDR. A young scholarly girl and a young fisherboy knew each other and fell in love. But since young, the girl had wanted to go university. To study English. She was born in Canada. As she studied hard, the distance drifted. Sometimes he wished she will fail and stay in Hokkaido with him. But she did go uni.

There was a senpai whom was close to her. He got jealous. He wanted to give up fishing which is his family business. To be in Tokyo with her. But his father had a heart attack the next day and he had to look after his mum and sis. And as he had to persist in his dream (he said God was punishing him for giving it up a dream held by his grandfather days), he wants her to persist in hers too. And they have to split up.

He went on to marry. She went on to live and work in New York. Where her senpai had helped her settled down. She was supposed to marry her senpai but he died in a photography mission. Seems that fate played a trick as that was also the day his wife left him. And yet for the next few years, they drowned in their own sorrows in Hokkaido and New York separately.

Anyway a Jap movie always end sweetly and all the characters will end up with their first love, including them. I remember this scene where she went back Canada to see her birthplace and saw the boat carving he had given to her for Xmas in a pub (it has a flag that says Ganbatte Sae) and knew he had came by a few days ago only. Sadly they missed each other still.

Pencil and Eraser Conversation

Pencil: I'm sorry
Eraser: For what? You didn't do anything wrong.
Pencil: I'm sorry because you get hurt because of me. Whenever I made a mistake, you're always there to erase it. But as you make my mistakes vanish, you lose a part of yourself. You get smaller and smaller each time.
Eraser: That's true. But I don't really mind. You see, I was made to do this. I was made to help you whenever you do something wrong. Even though one day, I know I'll be gone and you'll replace me with a new one, I'm actually happy with my job. So please, stop worrying. I hate seeing you sad.

I found this conversation between the pencil and the eraser very inspirational.
Parents are like the eraser whereas their children are the pencil.
They're always there for their children, cleaning up their mistakes.
Sometimes along the way, they get hurt, and become smaller / older, and eventually pass on. Though their children will eventually find someone new (spouse), but parents are still happy with what they do for their children, and will always hate seeing their precious ones worrying, or sad.

All my life, I've been the pencil.
And it pains me to see the eraser that is my parents getting smaller and smaller each day.
For I know that one day, all that I'm left with would be eraser shavings and memories of what I used to have.

This is to all the parents out there.
- Extracted from an email

bflygal's comments:
It really is a sweet but sad story. And reminded me of a few days ago I had some minor disagreement with my mum as she wanted me to take leave for CNY even though technically I am already working half a day due to time zone. But sigh I cannot stand her grumbling and end up submitting my leave instead. I know everytime I am heading back SG, she will definitely have something to grumble about, like finding a bone to pick. Not that she does it on purpose, probably she has some reservations about how I am leading my life now. I wonder though if one day, I really can accomplish my dream, will she be able to accept it? Reminded me of my recent conversation with senpai. Oh and we finally are able to meet in SG after him being in Japan for so long haha.. he was telling me that his mum scolded him an ingrate and that once a year also cannot come back and meet ah. Haha. cL, you better watch out as you had mentioned you might not want to fly back within these 2 years. Hahaha.

But ya despite all these disagreements, I know parents purely have the best intentions. So right now, all I can do is to try to make as little mistakes as possible so that the eraser will not get smaller? Hmm...

And thus I am still racking my brain to think what to buy back for them this CNY. And my friend had suggested trying yellow peaches which are on season now. Hopefully I can find some sample this weekend and then probably drop by the market again closer to my departure. I have another 10 days more hmm.. time shall flies.

In Love or Being In Love?

Love is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake and then subsides. And when it subsides you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion. That is just being "in love" which any of us can convince ourselves we are. Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident. Your mother and I had it, we had roots that grew towards each other underground, and when all the pretty blossoms had fallen from our branches we found that we were one tree and not two.

- extracted from a FB photo where I was tagged for unknown reasons (ok supposed to vote but I don't know who that person is leh..).. but I found the caption thought-provoking...

So I wrote a long long rambling to a friend what is the difference of "being in love" and "in love"...

and I finally saw light of my rambling that
"being in love" means you were using your mind to convince yourself that you love that person and that you were seeing through a rose-tinted glass the beautiful image that you conjured up.

then
"in love" means that you were no longer using your mind but your heart, you were no longer holding that rose tinted glass but seeing in bright clear light, that the person in front of u is who that person really is, and that you still want that person very much despite any flaws you can detect.

So how many can claim that he/she is truly in love?

Happy Birthday, Capricorn Friend

Haha I believed you still check my blog and perhaps this would be a nice surprise to you.

So why did I dropped a post specially to wish you happy birthday?

Well initially doc had mentioned that because there is no way to contact a long lost bday gal, thus the only way is to blog and wish the bday gal happy bday. And actually at that time, I did remember your bday is today.. I had wanted to wait till 12 am to email u happy bday.. but I realized I’m 3 hours ahead of you haha. So I gave up the idea and just emailed u in the morning instead. But doc’s idea remained fresh in my mind so I decided to type a fast post during my lunch break and wish you this old friend a happy birthday. Because I remembered it was due to my blog that we regained contact.

I still remembered the last time we met; it was the day before I finally accepted my ex. I was very confused and I remembered I asked u “does holding hands matters?” And you replied nope. But somehow being me, when I let him hold my hands, I probably had accepted him subconsciously. Haha that’s why after that, every time during trekking trips, I always refused to accept anybody’s helping hands already. After that meeting, we lost contact.

I did remember contacting you on one of your bdays though. I can’t remember I sms u happy bday, or I send you a happy bday card first. The bday card which I remembered I drew a rooster, did not elicit any reply. (Don’t ask me where I sent it to, I don’t remember haha). The sms though, you responded that you just got married and that you did not invite me because you did not invite much sec sch frens in the first place. (Later on, both YL and I concluded that you no heart la… if invite the 2 of us, we will have each other’s company already what haha).

Then all was forgotten till I started clearing my online presence. At that time I really cleared up a lot of the online junk I accumulated. I removed all my Friendster information including photos. I was clearing away all my past I guessed. And I removed the blog url in Friendster. Which triggered you to Friendster msg me asking me for my blog address. I was shocked. You were the last person I expect to read my blog haha. Ok when I created the blog, we had already lost contact. And I have never once mentioned to you I have a blog. Plus even my senior said my blog is boring, always about horoscopes and lyrics only.. and gave up following already. So it came as a surprise that you knew its existence and had been following it (not so regularly though I know haha).

So let’s see when you will see this post. This will probably gauge how often you read my blog “p.

And do enjoy this special day with your beloved wife and 2 children. As your long time friend, like what I said in the email, I think the best present would be to hear your 2 children say “Happy Birthday Daddy!”. Somehow I can feel the warmth for u too =D

p/s: and we have indeed proved after all these years, that platonic relationships do exists right ;-)

pp/s: Is 2 a.m. here, but it should be 11pm back home so I think I managed to be in time to publish this haha.. Sorry, I had a steamboat gathering with my colleagues... and I needed to push out the post before this... phew at least I made it in time still "p

Celine Dion - Then you look at me

Celine Dion - Then you look at me

Laugh and cry,
live and die
Life is a dream we are dreaming
Day by day I find my way
Look for the soul and the meaning

Then you look at me
And I always see
What I have been searching for
I'm lost as can be
Then you look at me
And I am not lost anymore

People run, sun to sun,
Caught in their lives ever flowing
Once begun, life goes till it's gone
We have to go where it's going

Then you look at me
And I always see
What I have been searching for
I'm lost as can be
Then you look at me
And I am not lost anymore

And you say you see
When you look at me
The reason you love life so
Though lost I have been
I find love again
And life just keeps on running
And life just keeps on running
You look at me and life comes from you

Bflygal's comments:
Was watching Bicentennial Man, a 1999 movie which followed loosely Isaac Asimov's story. And I so love Isaac Asimov. I remember when I first read his book I, Robot (1950), I was either in my primary school days or early secondary school days and his Three laws of robotics blew me.

1. A robot may not injure a human being or, through inaction, allow a human being to come to harm.
2. A robot must obey any orders given to it by human beings, except where such orders would conflict with the First Law.
3. A robot must protect its own existence as long as such protection does not conflict with the First or Second Law.

I don't quite remember this novella (some vague idea but not clear remembrance) partly as he wrote a lot of short stories on his robot series that I cannot really remember the stories exactly already. But he was probably the reason why I used to be so fascinated with AI. Of course sometimes I wish I could be in such area but as of now, I am still unable to figure out how.

However seeing how Andrew, the robot, actually using his knowledge to made an advancement in medical world, makes me wish I have such a skill. It is afterall still in my intent to mix IT with medical. But hmm I remember years ago when I thought about this topic, I had the following conclusion.

Anyway I'm thankful though that she enlighten me greatly with regards to IT & Healthcare, a topic that I have been thinking about for sometimes. She reminded me at least that as doctors, the main aim is to cure not only the disease but to heal the person too. This is something I hope to remember forever.. never to let IT replace the doctors.

- extracted from my past post in 2008

Because I know towards the end, Andrew had put Portia on a life support. So that they can both end their life together… Don’t really like that idea but oh well, he had went through deaths of Sir, Little Miss.. and it had gotten a point that he realised
“Will every human being that i care for just leave?”
Which saddened him greatly. That’s why he started creating prosthetic parts suitable for a human.

I remember initially when he was with Little Miss, Little Miss had fallen for him. And Little Miss was hinting to him that she likes him… the conversation goes like this:
Little Miss: I have this friend and he's smart and funny, and whenever I’m with him, I don't wanna be with Frank.
Andrew: I can see how that would create a problem.
Little Miss: Yes...
Andrew: but the answer is staring you in the face... marry your friend.

Sadly Little Miss knows that… “a relationship between us would be impossible. It would never, could never, work out.”

So they skip 2 generations while Little Miss got married to Frank and had a son who later got married too and had a daughter who is a spitting image of her grandmother.

And Andrew and Portia first meeting wasn’t exactly pleasant because he resented her for looking like Little Miss haha. So it was funny the first time Andrew went to find Portia and told her he did not like her at all. Then she replied “It couldn't be more clear if you spit in my face.” Which he replied “I can't. I don't have a mucous gland.” Talking about robot’s humour… hahahha

Then I remember there is this part when Andrew talks about making love

That you can lose yourself. Everything. All boundaries. All time. That two bodies can become so mixed up, that you don't know who's who or what's what. And just when the sweet confusion is so intense you think you're gonna die... you kind of do. Leaving you alone in your separate body, but the one you love is still there. That's a miracle. You can go to heaven and come back alive. You can go back anytime you want with the one you love.

Then Rupert Burns asked “And you want to experience that?“ of which Andrew replied “Oh, yes, please. “
Then Rupert said “So do I.”
And I cannot stop laughing that I almost rolled off my bed hahahhaa...

To think when Sir first explains about sex, he had commented that “It all sounds so very... messy.”
and after learning the fate of most sperm cells, he actually “feels badly for them.”
Yet this is the same robot that many decades later, wants to experience personally what exactly does lovemaking entails.

And of course he will need a target to “experiment” that and obviously it is none other than the granddaughter since Little Miss is no longer young to be able to accompany him. It amused me when Portia told him frankly that “I like you. I even understand you some of the time. But I'm not about to invest my emotions in a machine.” Of which he responded that it must be genetics to skip a generation because that was exactly what Sir told Little Miss to not invest her emotions in a machine too.

Afterall, like what Sir said, “Andrew, People grow through time, then for u, time is a completely different proposition, for u, time is endless.”

So it is perfectly logical that it is impossible to have a relationship with a machine, no matter how humanely like he is.

Right?
But then Portia contradicts herself when she said “What's right for most people in most situations isn't right for everyone in every situation! Real morality lies in following one's own heart.”

I still remember when Andrew first had his nerve feelings installed, he had asked Portia to poke him to feel pain. And then proceed to demand a kiss from her for the sake of science as an experiment. And when she gave him a chaste kiss, he said not that, and just went on to passionately kiss her. It took her by surprise so much she cannot even reject. That sure is taking advantage of a lady haha.

And the best part is at the church where she was planning to get married to a typical guy and he demanded that he just want a short kiss but he continued for quite a period of time. She then tried to stop him and reminded him that he only wanted a short kiss, which he quick-wittedly replied, “I lied.” And started giving facts that she want him just as much due to her increased heart rate and her rising temperature and whatever body tell-tale signs a robot can detect immediately. Basically in his words, “I know love isn't fair! I'm reading your heart. And asking you to follow it.” Haha so I guess one should never fall in love with a robot or a doctor who can read your body tell-tale signs easily. Too dangerous haha.

Of course back to reality, Portia realizes that “But if this really works between us? You and I will never be accepted. We can't be married or anything.” Because he is still a machine and no matter how he tried to petition to the World Congress to recognise him as human, which would allow him and Portia to be legally married. In the end he is still rejected, as he is essentially immortal, and in their eyes, an immortal cannot be human. Hmm I remember he tried to rebuke that he is as much of a robot with human body parts as a human is as much of a human with robotic parts i.e. prosthetic parts.. but it makes sense that he is no matter what, immortal still. Guess being too perfect isn’t that good afterall as imperfections make us individuals.


So he did the next best thing he could do. He asked Rupert for a blood infusion into his system. And they had a humorous conversation on the fuzziness of human condition.

Andrew Martin: You've been a great example, Rupert. How quickly will the blood degrade my system?
Rupert Burns: Oh, I don't know. You exercise, eat right, I'd say 30, 40 years.
Andrew Martin: That's a little vague, chief. You don't know exactly how long I'll last?
Rupert Burns: Sorry.
[puts his hand on Andrew's shoulder]
Rupert Burns: Welcome to the human condition.

And when he next petition again to be recognized as a human, he had a truly touching conversation with the President.

Andrew Martin: I've always tried to make sense of things. There must be some reason I am as I am. As you can see, Madame Chairman, I am no longer immortal.
President Marjorie Bota: You have arranged to die?
Andrew Martin: In a sense I have. I am growing old, my body is deteriorating, and like all of you, will eventually cease to function. As a robot, I could have lived forever. But I tell you all today, I would rather die a man, than live for all eternity a machine.
President Marjorie Bota: Why do you want this?
Andrew Martin: To be acknowledged for who and what I am, no more, no less. Not for acclaim, not for approval, but, the simple truth of that recognition. This has been the elemental drive of my existence, and it must be achieved, if I am to live or die with dignity.
President Marjorie Bota: Mister Martin, what you are asking for is extremely complex and controversial. It will not be an easy decision. I must ask for your patience while I take the necessary time to make a determination of this extremely delicate matter.
Andrew Martin: And I await your decision, Madame Chairman, thank-you for your patience.
[turns to Portia and whispers]
Andrew Martin: I tried.

And finally he succeeded in acknowledging his humanity and validating his marriage.

World Congress Moderator: Ladies and Gentlemen: Ms. Marjorie Bota, President of the World Congress.
President Marjorie Bota: According to the records at the NorthAm Robotics Company, the robot also known as Andrew Martin, was powered up at 5:15 pm on April 3rd, 2005. In a few hours, he'll be 200 years old, which means that with the exception of Methuselah and other biblical names, Andrew is the oldest living human in recorded history. For it is by this proclamation, I validate his marriage to Portia Charney, and acknowledge his humanity.

Except he had left the world before hearing it, although Portia said that he never really needed to hear it either.

Sigh, such is a robot who tried to make sense of his purpose in life and went through lots and gave up immortality for the namesake of love.

The last thing I want to remember though is sometimes too much knowledge can indeed be detrimental to oneself. Because due to his vast readings, he started having ideas on what most people has been fighting for – Independence. In his words “One has studied your history. Terrible wars have been fought where millions have died for one idea, freedom. And it seems that something that means so much to so many people would be worth having.”

生命诚可贵，爱情价更高。若为自由故，两者皆可抛。

Hmm but seriously, is independence that important? Somehow the show goes to prove that it isn't. Hmm..

How long will love last..

Was posed this question yesterday
“just wondering only.. how long will love last..”
love can last forever if handle correctly

“but is there lots of such cases?”
eh.. y not.. love can last as long as u wan it to

And I wake up this morning, wondering how much truth did I spoke or was I just smoking through? I went to search for my past pensieves,

Love conquers all?

Ms Esther Au Yong wrote an article on “Why couples can’t live on love alone” in MyPaper (11th April 2008). It was with reference to the love turned sour relationship of Mr Ronald Susilo and Ms Li Jiawei.

>> So couple cannot live on love alone. True to a large extent.

Non verbal communication

He first mentions that if a couple is in love, they will emulate each other. This behaviour is called "Interactional synchrony". The stronger the relationship, the greater is the degree of emulation. Thus that is why you feel at ease.

>> Then when you break up, did it become interactional asynchrony? It was interesting to note though that looking back, he felt that the 2 of them did not have anything in common. But as a outsider, do I agree with what he said? And then does it matter when the two does not have anything in common? I always thought a union meant you are supposed to create a new path, common and accessible only by the two of you. My Canadian friend also taught me this when she was saying she like her coffee diluted while he like his thicker. But it is of small matter because all she needs to do is to just add more water when pouring a cup for herself. They are a very sweet couple who did have an interesting love story together too. And absolutely loving, that one cannot help but envy them haha.

阿寬 - 爱后始发的情信

分了手的戀人可否成為好友？
男女能否永遠是好朋友？

>> Ok this one came out in the search list, I wasn’t looking for it. And since it came out, I just want to say to cL sometimes I would reply 90% of the questions. Sometimes I might not. And sometimes I might have been drafting the reply but constant asking somehow will irritate me and I will then stop my draft because I got tired thinking how to reply it diplomatically (in my sense). As for that question, let’s just say the idealistic me still wish to reply yes. And I realized I am sometimes too idealistic to survive in this pragmatic world.

>> Just checked mail and guess what, this topic came out in ... au.shoppinglifestyle.com Actually I don't remember subscribing to this site but oh well, who cares..

Set it free

If you love something set it free,
if it comes back to you it's yours,
if it doesn't it never was.

>> So I guess he has to set it free. And accept that it was never meant to be.

A deeper understanding of love

Love is infinite. It does not diminish even when you’re giving it away freely.

>> That is the source I guess as to why I replied so definitely last night. Because I too trust that love is infinite. Afterall love comes in many different forms and I was not asked which love he was trying to determine the lifespan. Haha. Oh but I don't agree with the part on love needs not be spoken haha. Unless of course you can do the non verbal love expression which works like magic from what I notice from the Canadian friend.

Admit it, I’m just a dreamer, dreaming in this world.

Faulpez varies her eggs

French Toast. My first attempted frying dish just had to be that because when I was young, I recall mum making that dish and I somehow fell in love with it. Though I don't remember her doing it again (or rarely).

My favourite Tamago which I sliced it up haha... the presentation looks better this way..

Sunny side egg..

Was trying to cook egg with carrot and cheese like an omelette style

Of course I will also attempt my soft boil egg which I did not take photo haha. But one thing for sure, eggs and tomatoes are always in my fridge and are the first few items I will get every time I'm back in Melbourne.

Faulpez does has a penchant for croissants

I admit I do like croissants alot. So when I saw a special deal on 20 mini croissants, I immediately bought them. Then sometimes I will see the big ones having some slight discount of which sometimes I will buy and sometimes I will not. Afterall it is more expensive than white bread which just costs me 1+ AUD.

And I usually eat them plain. I remember getting a pack like this back in Sydney and having them as my breakfast plain. Haha that is the lazy way out I guess.

But recently, I caught sight of ham. Probably because mum bought lots of turkey ham for Christmas dinner and thus I started to miss ham a teeny bit.

And decided to put ham, tomato, iceberg lettuce and cucumber into my croissant.

Yummy!

Faulpez cooks curry

Another just follow the instructions. Chopped potatoes, carrots and chicken. Then pour in the curry paste and water. And viola, I have curry for breakfast with bread, curry for lunch with rice. Hmm I probably could have curry noodle too. Anyway I have another packet of curry (Thai Red Curry) to make.. so will probably cooked in and include in this post.

Faulpez cooks Bak Kut Teh

I did not dare to buy pork as colleague mentioned it has a different taste. So ended up with a beef rib. It was relatively easy to cook the Bak Kut Teh. I just pour everything in the packet, add garlic and the beef rib, boil for 2 hours (ok the time might be wrong because the beef ended up too elastic and I had a hard time chewing them for consumption). But the soup is great! With the rice :)

Faulpez makes cold noodles

Cold soba noodles was the first dish I really learn to cook (i.e. I bother to check internet) other than maggi mee. It was probably the only dish I made for my brother and another person too. I still remember them saying it was pretty yummy haha. Not that this simple dish could go too wrong I guess. I just need to cook the noodles, freeze it. Then mix the soba sauce with cold water, taste till acceptable and pour it on the noodle. Add the seaweed last.

And I was checking my past pensieve on it... Simple Beauty.. That was also a week where my parents went for holidays and I was home alone. The first time that happened, I was really home alone as my brother was in NS even. Hmm that time nothing much happened as it was just washing clothes, cooking my dinner and playing maple story I think. Hmm I remember I over boiled my kettle and probably almost lost a life if I had not been too careful? haha.. should be the second time.. in other words, I think I did get into a different kind of trouble the first time too as I remember mum saying it really is not safe to leave me with the house haha)  This time, my brother was around which was why I had to cook for him and which was why he actually praised my simple dish haha. Anyway while reading that month postings, I realised hmm, that was the year cL and I got to be close friends? Hmm.. hahha I don't have any recollection. 2009 seems so faraway. Those stuff I post, I somehow can only muster some faintest idea what rubbish I was talking about.

BUT there was this part where I talk about French Toast. Cool cos I think I succeed in doing that in Melbourne haha. Actually other than those 2 times where I was home alone, I guess Melbourne is the only time I was home alone for a much longer period. And the only time I really had to enjoy this simple beauty for an extended period. Imagine going to work, washing clothes, ironing clothes, cooking, for the past 3 months. Once again I did skip the cleaning part oops. Haha. And for 2011, I think I still like to indulge in this simple beauty for a while more. Still remember in 看破權勢離開明教,過著神仙般的生活 I mentioned

"Thinking back, it has been several years since I first know that girl. I still remember the scene vividly. Several years later, though we never really meet, I still get to hear her news. In a way, as a long lost acquaintance, I'm so glad for her. Just as I'm glad for the other who has left for Japan. Seems that I know quite a few people uprooting themselves. I know I will never do that, but sometimes, just sometimes, I wish I could be reckless. Afterall Xun Lan also left Japan for a year to forget Da Di Ge. "

I'm surprised to be reminded that I once felt I will never do that and yet here I am in Melbourne (though I do fly back pretty regularly and I know I cannot stay here for too long due to the visa issue and thus lessen any homesick impact). Sometimes fate can be so quirky. Anyway I did fulfil the first four words of "看破權勢離開明教,過著神仙般的生活"... now I'm waiting to fulfil the rest...

Faulpez makes satay

I had a packet of satay seasoning so forced myself to buy kehab from Woolsworth.

2 sticks each, 4 sticks in total. I remember I took the whole night cooking this dish because I need to defrost the meat, marinate the meat, and then I grilled them again and again till I lost count too. Because a microwave grill function isn't really a grill function. But then I guess I did end up with a satisfactory finished product. Made satay beehoon (yummy) and I probably ate a piece or 2 ala carte style too.

Faulpez makes cucumber salad

Cucumber salad is a must have dish when there is satay involved. So when I was making satay, I learnt how to make Cucumber Salad too.

1. Mix 4 tablespoons vinegar 5 tablespoons sugar and 3/4 teaspoon salt.
2. Heat until sugar completely dissolved. Remove from the heat and allow to cool.
3. Arrange sliced cucumber, chilli and shallot in layers. Pour the mixture over and serve.

Eh I was not interested in chilli nor shallot so it was just purely cucumber for me haha. And it really is a good appetiser. Yummy!

Faulpez microwave rice

Rice can be microwaved like this...

Ingredients:
- Water
- Rice

1. Mix rice and water in a microwave-safe container. A good place to start is two parts water for every part of rice (e.g. 2 cups rice, 4 cups water). You can adjust the ratio through experimentation, depending on how dry or moist you prefer your rice, the power of your microwave, the size/shape of the container, etc.
2. Some kinds of rice may benefit from being rinsed and/or soaked before cooking. Rinsing not only cleans the rice, but it also improves texture and flavor; in the U.S., rice is fortified with vitamins that rinsing will eliminate, although those vitamins should not be necessary if you already have a well-balanced diet. Soaking simply reduces cooking time but not by much when cooking rice in a microwave.
3. Cover, place in the microwave and set the time. Here are some suggested guidelines for a 700 watt microwave and white rice
• 1/2 cup rice, 9 minutes
• 3/4 cup rice, 12 minutes
• 1 cup rice, 16 minutes
• 1 1/4 cups rice, 20 minutes
• 1 1/2 cups rice, 23 minutes
• For brown rice, start with three cups of boiling water per cup of rice and cook it for 25 minutes. Adjust through trial and error.
4. Let the rice sit in the microwave for five minutes after it turns off. Don't open the door. This will finish the cooking process. You might observe that the rice grains start to orient themselves vertically (like they're "saluting").
5. Fluff the rice with a fork and serve.

Other suggestions:
• You can add salt or butter before cooking if you wish, or cook the rice in chicken or other stock instead of water. Hmmm I should try that next time.
Source: wikiHow

Faulpez makes marshmallow cereal bars (almost)

I have to admit it is a failed attempt. I did not like the end result. And I don't think I will try again because the only reason I bought marshmallow then was for BBQ but nobody toast marshmallow in Europe (I think).

Nonetheless I decided I should still write down the recipe I tried.

Ingredients
3 tbsp. butter
25 lg. marshmallows or 3 1/2 c. miniature marshmallows
5 c. cereal

Heat butter and marshmallows in saucepan over low heat until melted; remove from heat. Stir in cereal until well coated. Press mixture in pan, using buttered back of spoon; cool. 16 or 24 bars.

source: cooks.com

I tried adding milk I think but I still find it a tad too sweet. Not sure why.

First muse in 2011

I was searching for something when I ended up reading this

Feelings don’t go anywhere, they fade.
Feelings intensify when you have memories of the person, especially happy memories.
Feelings fade when the memories are no longer important to you due to a change in priority.
from 2008 June 16

That was a friend's reply to me. Recently when I posed this question again, I think cL also responded that feelings don't disappear. And ya I told her mine don't. It just gets boxed up. Some gets buried. Some is still lying in the open. Of course not all feelings must be BGR right? Hahaha.

But I decided yesterday to close a particular box. Funny that http://alittlepoison.blogspot.com/ website has closed too. Seriously the world keeps changing, even if I don't move on, others do.

Hmm I still cannot find what I first started to be finding. Maybe I did not blog on that then. Anyway I was trying to find if I had blogged about 50 First Dates before. A movie where the female protagonist wakes up every morning, forgetting everything that had happened beforehand. Her memory stopped on the day she had an accident. And thus you could say everyday is a new beginning for her. It could be exasperating and yet interesting I guess. Well and her lover had to court her everyday since she forgot him everyday haha. Doc had mentioned that people always believed that honeymoon period only lasted 3 months. And after a year, couple will start squabbling. I guess that is the best way to keep honeymoon period forever, and probably keep a union forever too. Since it probably is the lady that remember enough to pick up half of the fights? The other half of the fights occurred because the gentleman did something wrong, definitely "p.

I was also thinking about cl's Distance post and wondering if 50 First date is a bit similar to LDR. She had used a marathon analogy to describe LDR (which amused me tremendously especially when she decided to qualify me up to the task.. faintz!)

First 10 Km – easy
10-20m – route may perhaps seem monotonous
20-30km – arduous journey with goal nowhere in sight
30-40km – the light at the end of the tunnel seeping through with the last 2km plus to go..
And the final dash represents the fruit of the labour – if both flowers agree to grow and flourish together, why shouldnt they attempt a LDR?
From cl's Distance post

Hmm just felt that the 50 First Dates will soon become monotonous and arduous and if it is never-ending, then will it still work? And yet it will always be in the honeymoon period, unable to proceed to the small quarrel/big quarrel stage and thus it may work. Haha and so maybe when you are in a LDR, think of it as having First Dates everytime you meet the person because seriously, you do not know when you will next meet the person again and because actually you may have forgotten when is the last time you hug each other.

Oh and I agree with cL on this part
"To make a relationship work, the effort required to keep this commitment is pivotal. Each individual needs to have a strong mind and know what he/she wants and withstand the distractions and events in the world. Whenever one party loses the interest in maintaining the relationship, it will just collapse even with a single source of energy feeding it."

And the word relationship need not be about love. It could be on friendship too. So in 2011, I decided to finally stop being naïve and let go a particular friendship that I see no point in holding. I'm grateful that the broken promise was never fulfilled, and I'm grateful that this friend made me see light what I had been avoiding for a decade. I don't like to lose friends, but sometimes it is not about me losing a friend I guess. As long as I don't lose the lesson I gained, that should suffice.

To end this post, I was reminded of this again...

I asked God, why He gave me the boxes,
Why the gold and the black with the hole?
"My child, the gold is for you to count your blessings,
The black is for you to let go.
From 2005 Feb 4

My boxed feelings for this friend, had slowly turn black with an ever growing hole. To thank for being blessed for those 4 years and to let go because it is 2011 and I should have a new gold box, pure gold this time.

p/s: cL remember I told you about THE HOPE! Was seeing MTV and find this song highly entertaining.. and reminds me of THE HOPE haha.



Catch the official video here.

Haven't Met You Yet lyrics
Songwriters: Buble, Michael Steven; Chang, Alan; Foster, Amy;

I'm not surprised, not everything lasts
I've broken my heart so many times, I stopped keeping track
Talk myself in, I talk myself out
I get all worked up, then I let myself down

I tried so very hard not to lose it
I came up with a million excuses
I thought, I thought of every possibility

And I know someday that it'll all turn out
You'll make me work, so we can work to work it out
And I promise you, kid, that I give so much more than I get
I just haven't met you yet

I might have to wait, I'll never give up
I guess it's half timing, and the other half's luck
Wherever you are, whenever it's right
You'll come out of nowhere and into my life

And I know that we can be so amazing
And, baby, your love is gonna change me
And now I can see every possibility

And somehow I know that it'll all turn out
You'll make me work, so we can work to work it out
And I promise you, kid, I give so much more than I get
I just haven't met you yet

They say all's fair
In love and war
But I won't need to fight it
We'll get it right and we'll be united

And I know that we can be so amazing
And being in your life is gonna change me
And now I can see every single possibility

And someday I know it'll all turn out
And I'll work to work it out
Promise you, kid, I'll give more than I get
Than I get, than I get, than I get

Oh, you know it'll all turn out
And you'll make me work so we can work to work it out
And I promise you kid to give so much more than I get
Yeah, I just haven't met you yet

I just haven't met you yet
Oh, promise you, kid
To give so much more than I get

I said love, love, love, love
Love, love, love, love
(I just haven't met you yet)
Love, love, love, love
Love, love
I just haven't met you yet

Source: elyrics.net

Haha so gal, do more cooking, do more grocery shopping cos perhaps just haven't met X yet.

Faulpez using Brahim honey chicken sauce

Procedure:

First to fry the chicken.
Then to add the sauce and 100 ml of water.
And voila the end product.

Sounds very easy right? Unfortunately I spend half of my new year day doing it.

Initial plan for NY day was to go Shrine of Remembrance, then the library, do some Asian grocery at Laguna before heading back to fresh market grocery at Prahran Market. The reality, I only accomplished the first item. Library was close till Tuesday, Laguna took a break today too and thus I headed to the Asian supermarket at Prahran Market. Luckily the owner did not take a break and I got some wantons. And as usual soya milk (psst, I only get my soya milk from asian supermarket as I really do not fancy the soya milk sold in the supermarket). Prahran Market was close too and I ended up in Aldi which I learnt a lesson there, never scrimp and save too much. It may backfire. But my NY day is not entirely disappointing. I learn to make breadcrumbs (my last time though as it is too much of a hassle), and honey sauced chicken (but I maintain my stand that I still hate deep frying except I hate wasting food more so once all these ingredients are consumed, the probability that I will repeat them is.. probably nil.. too much burn marks of which one of them had turn into a permanent scar on my hand.. and too much cleaning to be done when the cooking is over).

And actually I bought chicken drumsticks one but I couldn't figure out how to deep fry it so I ended up cutting them into substandard smaller pieces haha.

Hmm the list of ingredients I used to have, as of now, I think I used up half of it already.

Faulpez makes breadcrumbs

Materials:
• 6 slices white or whole wheat bread
• Chef's knife
• Microwave-safe container
• Plastic zip-top bag

1. Cube the bread into uniform 2-inch cubes. (or whichever dimension you prefer)
2. Microwave on high power for 5 minutes, or until crunchy.
3. Pour the hardened bread cubes into the zip-top bag. Seal the bag, and using your hands or a meat mallet, crush the cubes into bread crumbs.
4. Store the bread crumbs in the zip-top bag away from air and light, or use them immediately.

Reference: ehow

I had wanted to deep fry my chicken without the flour. And thus I decided to make breadcrumbs on my own. It probably is the first and last time making breadcrumbs. I remember years ago, I made oreo cheesecake and was doing the oreo base, it was exactly the same experience - extremely challenging to crush them without the proper equipment. At least back then, I could have tried the pounder. This time, I ended up using my bare fingers to crush them and now my fingers hurt haha.