This story haunted me since 8 years ago. Actually all these years, I never forgot the story line. But there was a period of time, I stop remembering this story. Maybe is because lately I read Rene Liu's book, and thus I remember this novel again. Because I never got a chance to read the full story.
分了手的戀人可否成為好友？
男女能否永遠是好朋友？
When I first heard this story, it started with the topic of laughter. Sarah, the female lead, was writing the letter to Leo about the different ways to laugh. And that she stop laughing at the age of 12 after someone said to her "为一点点事而笑一场，干吗不去卖笑". I remember she said she likes to watch babies' laughter because their laughters were the most innocent. As you grow older, you no longer laugh for the pure pleasure of laughing. But she kinda regretted not laughing after that anymore because she felt she spoilt her childhood photos.
Coincidentally, in today's yoga lesson, the teacher was making us laugh to release our stress. And I realised I seem to be unable to laugh heartily at all.
The story then continue with Leo replying Sarah about a girl he met whose smile he got smitten with. Actually Sarah and Leo used to be an item. And they broke up 3 years ago. Currently, Leo is studying in New York and Sarah was planning to go to New York for business trip.
Sarah was glad that Leo is in love. In some sense, she was envious of the girl too. It is natural for her to think back her past relationship with him because she is having problem with her boyfriend. I guess she is of marriageable age and mentality. But she is too strong, that her boyfriend feels lost at time. And he strayed a bit.
I guess Sarah must be an independent woman. Someone who is always strong in front of certain people. In "Dolphin Bay", Shan-ni is also that type of woman. She was trained since young to be strong willed but she is unhappy. Because she wish to be lean on someone sometimes too. Sarah is that type of lady too. Just that Pierre, her boyfriend, couldn't soften her bah.
Pierre did came to New York on the last few days of her visit. To propose to her. Sarah, like all girls, will definitely be touched even if she says she don't care. Because he still matters to her. And because he matters, but he keeps hurting her, the only way to lessen the hurt is to ignore the wound.
Pierre is a good catch. Logically, Sarah sees no reason to reject the proposal. But she reject it still. Because she finds that something is lacking. In "下一站彩虹", Elaine also did the same thing in today's episode. Because she realised that her boyfriend is just loving her out of habit. So much so, she is no longer sure is that love or just habit? Pierre must have given Sarah that feeling. Guys may feel that girls are hard to fathom, but actually girls only want to be treated as the only thing that matters. I think that was what "下一站彩虹" conveyed. To that, I don't really agree. As in, I feel I don't need to be his priority list constantly, because if constantly on his priority list, I will not feel anything special already. Haha!
The story ended with Sarah looking for Leo in his campus. And telling him that she rejected the proposal. And that she just felt maybe Leo could give her the answer why she had rejected the proposal. He laughed and said he is not sure too, but he does not mind figuring out with her.
3 years had passed, I believed they should have the maturity they lacked that time. Maybe this second chance will bear fruit. I'm not sure. That is why I always wanted to read the story book. To understand what the author really wanted to convey. But I remember in this story, there was this part where Sarah touched on patch back. She said that human always like to reminisce and go back to the past. They believed that if they could re-take, they might handle that relationship better. However in life, the past can never be changed again. And even if patch back, the feeling might no longer be there. Yet the ending ended with them patching back. Paradoxical right?
I keep hearing this story again and again. On my cassette tape. The more I hear, the sadder I am. But I'm not sure why. I know 8 years ago, this story already left a deep impression on me. At that time, I did not even know what love is, what relationship matters. Re-listening the story now, weirdly I still have the same feeling as 8 years ago. But I have my own life experiences, and the many drama shows that I have watched for the past 8 years. And I have to admit, 阿寬 is a superb author. I found out he is a guy, but from that story lines that the DJ read out, I can sense how accurately he portrayed Sarah's feelings.
Sigh I think I'm poisoned by this story. I should stop the tape soon.. else I will never get any sleep tonight. But I'm glad after all these years, the tape is still with me.
他们分手的那天晚上
就是下着这样的雨
三年了
也从来没有见过彼此的泪光
如果说休息是为了走更长的路
感情的气息能有回头路吗
Actually I'm thinking, is it really 8 years ago... or is it even earlier????
