Non verbal communication

Source: Wo Bao (22nd Aug 2007)

I was reading an article in My Paper on Professor Geoff Beattie, University of Manchester lecturer discussing about Non verbal communication. He is a well known psychologist.

He first mentions that if a couple is in love, they will emulate each other. This behaviour is called "Interactional synchrony". The stronger the relationship, the greater is the degree of emulation. Thus that is why you feel at ease. So if you see a guy and a girl eating from the same stall in a canteen, is that emulation? Just wondering…

In a chasing game, the females are the more obvious one. Their non verbal communication is much stronger than males. They interpret better. Males on the other hand are pretty slow in catching actions. Because of that, females decided to give more obvious sign e.g. tossing hair instead of giving a shy smile. Haha so last time’s 三笑姻缘 will become today’s 三拔弄发姻缘. That is amusing. Anyway I am not sure if males are really that dense or they pretend to be dense? I mean if you don’t like a girl and you don’t know how to reject her, maybe you prefer to just act blur right? But generally I have to admit female prefer to use more non verbal communication while male prefer to use more direct communication.

So how can we know if that other person likes us? Prof Beattie mention the following signs:
* eye contact
* an open, comfrotable posture, instead of crossed hands before the chest
* special gestures such as tossing hair, licking lips and eyes that open wider

Is that simple? I guess so. Just that environmental reason might complicate things. Lately I asked a friend what is woman made of. He replied water. I actually agreed to that analogy. Water has 3 states, at different temperature she will turn into ice, liquid and solid form. The temperature is the environmental factors that will change her and make her exhibit different properties e.g. denser etc.

He was wondering if doing certain things will make a girl felt touched by his sincerity. I wondered why we are sitting down discussing her reaction. Why second guess? Why not just do it and tell me what is her reaction? Haha! Maybe I no longer like to second guess people because male and female alike, they tend to give me unexpected reactions. Actually I think towards the end of the conversation, I had mentioned men are unfathomable too. It is quite a fair game. Men can’t decipher women, but neither can women understand men.

So I’m wondering if the girl had exhibited all the signs, and showed she has interest in you, does that mean the two of you will still have a happy ending. Human complicates a lot of things, including love.