Checking email and saw this article sent by A Slice of Life again. You know I always said A Slice of Life can read my moods because at certain appropriate time, it will tell me a story that I will endear to. But then maybe it is because I easily relates anything to anything haha. So everything can endears to me.
Hmm how many to-do travel posts I still need to do? Italy, Batam & Malaysia (I rem I had 2 short trips then), Manila, Melbourne, and now Sydney.. I guess I have to take my time. So although I'm back from Sydney, it will be a long time before I write about it which I always felt is good as then what I write is what really stays in my memory.
As for this article. I thought of 2 person when reading it.
I remember before I came back SG, I had bought a scarf which I thought of giving to her. In some sense, whenever I travel lately, other than buying for my family, it has been a habit to buy for her and probably her family too. Because I always thought she will become part of the family too. But I quite like the scarf too so I wanted to take a pic (I did anyway) and ask mum for opinion. But somehow I managed to find another pretty gift for her and so this scarf became mine to keep. But when I was back in SG, I sensed something was wrong already. As usual my gift was passed to her via the messenger. But something seems wrong. I may have only stayed a few days back home but it is impossible not to have seen her either.
Actually messenger and I do chat from time to time. But while I was in Melbourne, messenger did not mention anything to me. But I did find out from another source. And I start to worry. In some sense, it really never occurred to me that love could be so fragile even after a promise has been made. I wondered if I felt such pain, how much did messenger endured. Messenger also did not say much other than the facts.
When I went back Melbourne, there was this night messenger wanted to talk to me. I told messenger to find her to clear up everything. Because I have learn never to bottle up thoughts and feelings because nobody will ever knows. Even writing it out is better than not doing anything. But for immediate effect, face to face talk is the best. Somehow though it was a wrong move as messenger did something wrong still. And somehow after that messenger did get a closure.
Then messenger had a headache on the upcoming trip. I was very sure she will not join and I was right. While in Sydney, there was this day I felt something queasy and decided to email my source and ask about them. Source told me that messenger went on alone. Shocked and worried and yet I really for once saw the strength messenger has to learn to overcome these hurdles. I remembered during the trip, on and off the people around me told me certain stories.. about how distance caused a shift of change even though there was already a flat in waiting.. or how someone's brother managed to survive through too. And in the back of my mind, I really wish messenger strength. That was why a chapel fascinated me then because I had no other outlet then. Stayed there for a short while and kept thinking.
And when messenger asked me last night to see the nicely taken photos, even though I was really tired, I went to check. I just wanted to make sure messenger is at peace. And I really hope messenger is. After all,
To love someone is to want the best for someone, even if that 'best' thing isn't you.
So if you were wondering, messenger is the person I thought of sending this article to.
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