Chasing Daylight

The day started with a gruelling interview that once again deflated me totally. Actually I never like interviews, and to handle 2 person interview is propably the max I can handle. This is the first time I face 3 interviewers. Funny when he told me not to take this as an interview but a knowledge sharing session. Because, it really taugh me one thing, to re-read my sap notes thoroughly and be fully prepared. I guess I really was caught by surprise.

As my mind drew a blank, I ended up alighting at bugis area to pray. Due to the crowd, I thought it must be the first day of the month and was chided by my mum who told me if it is the first, it would have been CNY. Hmm.. conclusion, I lost all logic at the moment.

Then I thought of the book Chasing Daylight again and decided to spend my afternoon reading. I did not expect to find 2 entirely different books of the same name and ended up flipping through these 2 books to motivate and perk me up.

Book 1: Chasing Daylight by Eugene O Kelly


He was once a CEO of the big 4 and a high flyer. Then he was diagnosed with an illness that left him 100 days to live. He call it a gift as how many will know when death comes?

To him, the business of dying is difficult with the physical wrapping up and emotional winding down. The tedious paper work to sell your business, set up your will and properly transfer your assets is mind-bongling even to the average Joe. What's more the emotional farewells you have to say.

To the author who seems a bit of a control freak, admitting that things don't go according to his plan in reality is indeed a hard to swallow fact. Thus he tries very hard to treasure the present which most finds it difficult too. How many times you watched a good movie and you immediately say you hope to see the sequeal. Or you read a good book e.g. Harry Potter and all you can think about is what J.K. Rowling is going to write next? To some degree we must plan for the future but how to do so and yet enjoy the moment? That is the challenge.

The book summarised the 4 points:
1. Face reality to see the big picture
2. To simplify life by considering all aspects of our experience
3. Live in the moment which will centers us and being centered puts us in the moment
4. Recognizing perfection which requires us to observe where we are at any given moment. Achieving balance is the ability to be centered wherever we are.

I guess it is no surprise that the author died in peace as he had first accepted that he is dying. Which made me compare this books with the likes I read before e.g. Prof Randy Pausch's Last Lecture or Mitch Albom's Tuesdays with Morrie or even Richard Carlson's An hour to live, an hour to love. I felt to read how an accountant account his dying months is a refreshing perspective.

Book 2: Chasing Daylight by Erwin Raphael Mcmanus


This is a religious book and the topics are as follow:
Choices - choose to live
Initiative - just do something
Uncertainty - know you don't know
Influence - breath in, breath out
Risk - live before you die and vice versa
Advance - go unless u get a no
Impact - leave a mark
Movement - ignite a reaction
Awakening - wake the dead

Have you ever encountered a moment filled with opportunity and yet you let it slip away? It is the chance to do good, but you chose instead to do nothing. It is not choosing to do evil, it is purely choosing not to get involved - to be neutral.
>> Will you regret it once the moment is lost? I definitely did and no matter what I did after that, I still felt the pangs of regrets.

The greatest danger that success brings, aside from arrogance, is the fear of losing what has been gained.
>> Guess that's what most successful people fear.

Sideliners have the talent but lack the confidence. Thus they try to hide themselves and be as inconspicious as they can be. Most of the time, they are the spectators wishing feverently to be given a chance to be performing too. Or the player who is sitting on the bench.

If everything remains uncertain, be clear on this point, there is a calling on ur life. There is a level of clarity you can have about what to do next. Serving others function like a compass. The unique way God has designed you - with talent, intellect, gifts, personality and passions - informs you about how that service will be expressed. But don't look for God to fill in all the blanks. Don't wait for Him to remove all the uncertainty. Realize He may actually increase the uncertainty and leverage all the odds against u, just so that you will know in the end that it wasn't your gifts but His power through your gifts that fulfilled His purpose in your life.
>> Judging how uncertain I am.. I wonder is it really training me up? The last thing I want to do is to do something wrong.. But what is something wrong?

Often divine moments look like inconveniences on the front end.
>> I can only hope I can define the inconveniences.

Divine moments live in between the sweet beginning and the savory ending. You do yourself a disservice when every story has a happy ending in this life. It's far more important that there be a meaningful middle.
>> Yesterday Dr Yeoh in the 7pm show says it does not matter if a story has a bad beginning so long its ending is good. Apparently not true if following this theory.  No wonder people always say is the journey that matters.

After risk comes advance.  After "no turning backs" comes "you must go forward".  The closer you get to a divine challenge, the bigger it will seem, and the smaller you will feel.


Prayer is not about informing God of your needs, nor is it even abt trying to convince God to help you. Prayer is about connecting to God. It is about experiencing his presence and moving with him in intimate communion.

New ways to find job

2010, and I'm searching for jobs again. The panic button is half depressed already because I realised it is the end of Jan already. And I can start telling people I need to give 1 month's notice. Actually I usually don't. I am too truthful that I will just tell people my current situation, till an agent gave me some advice. But I will discuss more about that further.

Usually when you want to find jobs, how do you go about doing it?
In the past, I was using the paper method. Everyday I will flip to the recruit section and CIRCLE the jobs I am interested in RED.  Then I will start to follow the instructions on how to apply for the job.  Those times, you will print your resume and send by post.  Sometimes you have to attach your typed essay in the post too.  Those were the days.

Then internet revamped the job recruiting situation and I got an easier way to apply for job.  I was able to harness internet and either send online application or send an email with my resume in soft copy.  That was so much easier.  But it was still finding those companies directly and emailing their HR department.

The introduction of JOBSDB and JOBSTREET and the likes tweaked the situation.  Now I can just deposit my resume with these online agencies and companies interested can request for my resume.  In addition I can still apply for jobs but it also got easier as I can make use of their "Quick apply" method.  Note that this is not applicable to all the job ads though as certain companies still want you to email them directly instead of clicking "Quick apply".  But that is perfectly fine with me as it is still the digital way.

Then I happen to know another agency - Jobline.  This also request for you to deposit your resume and they do post job ads.  But they actually have an active pool of job agents who will sms/email you regularly if your profile fits the JD (Jobs Description).  And they will always call you before they submit your resume to the prospective client.

So I had been using the last 3 methods for the recent years.  Direct postings, Jobsdb/Jobstreet and Jobline were always being checked whether frequently or infrequently.  But this year, due to my ex-colleagues, I actually had another 2 more source.

The first method is via Linkedin.  Networking has become a big deal over the years and somehow people's recommendation in sites like Linkedin seems to help you increase your worth.  It is like a branding issue.  But it is not my character to ask people to write recommendations for me so I shall leave it as it is.  In addition, I think currently, I decided to limit the privacy level again because it gave me a queasy feeling when my colleagues know my work experience in details because I have a Linkedin account and I don't know anything about them because they don't open one.  Just felt weird.  But I am still in some groups in Linkedin which post jobads frequently too and so Linkedin became a new source for me.

However it is the second method that not only changed my impression of recruiters but gave me a very surreal feeling.  I had been getting only rejections constantly i.e. not even being given a chance to clinch an interview with them. Until my ex-colleague (who was supposedly my competitor too haha) started introducing the agents to me instead because he already got a job.  The first time he introduced to me, the agent immediately call me the next working day and had a chat with me to understand me better.  This is usually the typical thing I suppose, so I did not give too much of a thought. Except when she did schedule me an interview, and started to prep me for the interview that  I was kind of overwhelmed.  I could sense her enthusiasm as a recruiter as she dispensed various interview tips and info that she felt I should know so as not to get cold feet.  I still ended up cold feet as both of us did not expect other people to be the one conducting the interview.  And I failed that interview due to the lack of exposure but the agent was kind to encourage me and told me at least they like me, it is just that I did not have the qualifications which sometimes cannot be helped in life.

Subsequently, my ex-colleague introduced me another 2 more agents and likewise these are people who had been in their industry for a period of time as you can hear their enthusiasm.  This other agent even extend an invitation for me to call him anytime for career guidance because he wishes to help the youngster do well in their career and most importantly because he felt that the locals are talented but too humble and at the losing end compared when compared to the FTs. I was so pleasantly surprised by his frankness and pretty touched by the sincerity in wanting to help people.  The last agent is also a very friendly lady who even told me she pioneered this company and has been doing a few start-ups I think.  Somehow talking to these agents were really interesting such that even if I did not get any interview in the end, I felt it has been a blessing to know them for a short period of time.  And it is all thanks to my ex-colleague whom seriously one would never try to get a job from ex-colleague-cum-competitor.  Really am grateful for him too haha.  Hope he will love his new job and accumulate enough wealth asap to set up his family.  And I really felt that if it is not because of the new directions our company undertook, I probably will never encounter such situation and have such perspective towards life.

Oh and the last weird method I used to create chances was via Road show promoters haha.  It was a weird conversation which changed from trying to promote me to "donate to xxx society" to "do you want to try applying for my company".  Caught me by surprise totally but then I'm game on anything because I believed you can learn from it.  After all, to me, life is really all about learning.

A different view on Currency

Because mum have bought a couple of things from the Singapore Mint, thus I was entitled a free entry to the Coins and Notes Museum. But being the blur girl as usual, the only place I could find was the...Chinatown Heritage Centre

Probably because it has a Samsui woman in front of it making it very noticeable from afar...
Took some time to find the signage to the Coins and Notes Museum.

It is a rather small museum, 2 little rooms located in level 3 and 4. I like the lift.. very unique way of representing the levels.

A coin starts with a pencil sketch. Once the design is approved, a plaster mould is made. This mould can be up to five times the size of the coin just so that clear details can be created. Once the design is completed, the mould is used to make a rubber mould, and then an epoxy resin mould. A pantograph is then used on the epoxy mould to copy the details onto a metal die that is the exact size of the intended coin. This die is etched and then it is ready to be used for punching coins.

There is a video for you to watch the process too. And do you know your coins are being recycled to cut down the demand for raw materials. But hmm.. you know people always like to throw coins into fountain or pond for good luck, I wonder if we should do something about these as part of the Go Green effort? Well I do know that in Italy, there was a guy who actually pick the coins thrown into the Trevi fountain but it was not for altruistic reasons.

Italian courts have recently ruled that Roberto Cercelletta, who has been scooping out coins tossed into the Trevi fountain for about 20 years, is not stealing public money. He made an estimated 180,000 USD a year from his labors. Charity organization Caritas, which retrieves the money on Sundays when Cercelletta takes a day off, tried to get a court order to stop him" - Story thanks to zoomata
Source: About.com

The fourth level was more concentrated on the history of currency. While metal currencies are good substitutes for the goods used in barter trading, other materials could be used too so long they are relatively rare else they would be worth nothing.

This is quite pretty. But eh, being pragmatic, I rather use the 5 bucks for lunch haha. Anyway I learnt something more about money.

Grizabella The Glamour Cat

RHAPSODY ON A WINDY NIGHT
by: T.S. Eliot (1888-1965)

TWELVE o'clock.
Along the reaches of the street
Held in a lunar synthesis,
Whispering lunar incantations
Dissolve the floors of memory
And all its clear relations,
Its divisions and precisions,
Every street lamp that I pass
Beats like a fatalistic drum,
And through the spaces of the dark
Midnight shakes the memory
As a madman shakes a dead geranium.

Half-past one,
The street lamp sputtered,
The street lamp muttered,
The street lamp said, "Regard that woman
Who hesitates towards you in the light of the door
Which opens on her like a grin.
You see the border of her dress
Is torn and stained with sand,
And you see the corner of her eye
Twists like a crooked pin."

The memory throws up high and dry
A crowd of twisted things;
A twisted branch upon the beach
Eaten smooth, and polished
As if the world gave up
The secret of its skeleton,
Stiff and white.
A broken spring in a factory yard,
Rust that clings to the form that the strength has left
Hard and curled and ready to snap.

Half-past two,
The street lamp said,
"Remark the cat which flattens itself in the gutter,
Slips out its tongue
And devours a morsel of rancid butter."
So the hand of a child, automatic,
Slipped out and pocketed a toy that was running along the quay.
I could see nothing behind that child's eye.
I have seen eyes in the street
Trying to peer through lighted shutters,
And a crab one afternoon in a pool,
An old crab with barnacles on his back,
Gripped the end of a stick which I held him.

Half-past three,
The lamp sputtered,
The lamp muttered in the dark.

The lamp hummed:
"Regard the moon,
La lune ne garde aucune rancune,
She winks a feeble eye,
She smiles into corners.
She smoothes the hair of the grass.
The moon has lost her memory.
A washed-out smallpox cracks her face,
Her hand twists a paper rose,
That smells of dust and old Cologne,
She is alone
With all the old nocturnal smells
That cross and cross across her brain."
The reminiscence comes
Of sunless dry geraniums
And dust in crevices,
Smells of chestnuts in the streets,
And female smells in shuttered rooms,
And cigarettes in corridors
And cocktail smells in bars."

The lamp said,
"Four o'clock,
Here is the number on the door.
Memory!
You have the key,
The little lamp spreads a ring on the stair,
Mount.
The bed is open; the tooth-brush hangs on the wall,
Put your shoes at the door, sleep, prepare for life."

The last twist of the knife.

The poem that inspired "Memory" by Andrew Lloyd Webber..
The poem that I love to the extent I used to call myself Luna..

And today, Grizabella reminded me of the poem again...

"Remark the cat
Who hesitates toward you in the light of the door
Which opens on her like a grin.
You see the border of her coat is torn
Is torn and stained with sand,
And you see the corner of her eye
Twists like a crooked pin."

When they were singing 'The Moments of Happiness', there was this short verse akin to Memory... except its emphasis was Moonlight...

Moonlight, turn your face to the moonlight
Let your memory lead you
Open up, enter in
If you find there the meaning of what happiness is
Then a new life will begin

And the finale in my opinion... Grizabella singing...
Memory
Daylight
See the dew on the sunflower
And a rose that is fading
Roses whither away
Like the sunflower
I yearn to turn my face to the dawn
I am waiting for the day . . .

Midnight
Not a sound from the pavement
Has the moon lost her memory?
She is smiling alone
In the lamplight
The withered leaves collect at my feet
And the wind begins to moan

Memory
All alone in the moonlight
I can smile at the old days
I was beautiful then
I remember the time I knew what happiness was
Let the memory live again

Every streetlamp
Seems to beat a fatalistic warning
Someone mutters
And the streetlamp gutters
And soon it will be morning

Daylight
I must wait for the sunrise
I must think of a new life
And I musn't give in
When the dawn comes
Tonight will be a memory too
And a new day will begin

Burnt out ends of smoky days
The stale cold smell of morning
The streetlamp dies, another night is over
Another day is dawning

Touch me
It's so easy to leave me
All alone with the memory
Of my days in the sun
If you touch me
You'll understand what happiness is

Look
A new day has begun

Used..

English-iliterate foreigners flock to free CC language classes sponsored by Singapore taxpayers

Foreigners, PRs and new citizens are flocking to free language classes organized by Community Clubs sponsored generously by Singapore taxpayers to help them “integrate” into Singapore society.

In 2008, foreigners, permanent residents and new citizens made up 55 per cent of participants in English classes and 47 per cent in the Chinese ones, a People’s Association (PA) spokesman said.

Minister for Youth Development, Community and Sports Dr Vivian Balakrishnan unveiled a $10-million Community Integration Fund in October last year to make new immigrants and PR feel “welcomed” and “happy” in Singapore.

Source: Temasek Review

Used...
I feel so used...

Lately I am very demoralized by the fact that I keep reading job ads where SG companies are willingly to sponsor work visas to hire foreigners. And when I try to apply overseas jobs, countries like UK & Australia has policy stating that they must first try to find locals. Only when it fails then they must declare to their government that such talent is not available in their respective country. And then they can consider foreigners.

So I face walls with local firms. I face walls with foreign firms. Then what can I apply? Maybe I should just go hide in some 3rd world country and eat grass, drink air. Saves all the trouble.

Relight the fire...

Time to relight the fire.. stop running after the full marathon event. Rejected all runs even SC run because seriously it is the been there done it feel. So don't know why my brain decide to fry itself up a day before I left Europe and sign up for this marathon. Whether I turn up though, that is the BIG question haha. But in the meantime, while I search for training plan, I came across various upcoming marathons and some are so interesting I had to blog to remember them.. e.g.

1) Rusti Run 2010 – Run with Dogs and Family
2) Run for My Lunch 2010
3) MacRitchie Runners 25 - can you imagine running 5 km in 25 mins. (Sorry I go by an easy pace.) Or running at least 5 rounds of MacRitchie (I think I will get bored...)

Ok I'm tired... tomorrow continue my trainiing... As for all these runs, they were just references for a friend. Hope she can cross out this to-do task soon, like how I crossed mine out last year... (and stupidly added another to-do task for 2010).

Avril Lavigne - Runaway

Source: Youtube

Avril Lavigne - Runaway
Got up on the wrong side of life today yeah
Crashed the car and I'm gonna be really late
My phone doesn't work cause it's out of range
Looks like it's just one of those kind of days

You can't kick me down I'm already on the ground
No you can't cause you couldn't catch me anyhow
Blue skies but the sun isn't coming out no
Today it's like I'm under a heavy cloud

And I feel so alive
I can't help myself, don't you realize

I just wanna scream and lose control
Throw my hands up and let it go
Forget about everything and runaway, yeah

I just want to fall and lose myself
Laughing so hard it hurts like hell
Forget about everything and runaway, yeah

So so is how I'm doing if you're wondering
I'm in a fight with the world but I'm winning
Stay there come closer it's at your own risk
Yeah you know how it is life can be a bitch

But I feel so alive
I can't help myself, don't you realize

I just wanna scream and lose control
Throw my hands up and let it go
Forget about everything and runaway, yeah

I just want to fall and lose myself
Laughing so hard it hurts like hell
Forget about everything and runaway, yeah

Runaway, runaway...
Runaway, runaway...
Runaway, runaway...
Runaway, run, run away...
Runaway, runaway...
Runaway, run, run away...

I just wanna scream and lose control
Throw my hands up and let it go
Forget about everything and runaway, yeah

I just want to fall and lose myself
Laughing so hard it hurts like hell
Forget about everything and runaway yeah

I just wanna scream and lose control
Throw my hands up and let it go
Forget about everything and runaway, yeah

I just want to fall and lose myself
Laughing so hard it hurts like hell
Forget about everything and runaway, yeah

Bfly's comment:
Was asked to hear Avril's Innocence but though it is a nice song, it wasn't my mood song. Coincidentally Runaway is in the same album... and it suits me to the T. So So is the answer I have been giving to anybody who is asking me questions on life/holidays/work. So So is all that I can muster.. because.. my brain is in no mood to think of a better answer.

Everybody is interested in Sumiko & Hurricane... which probably is interesting because Sumiko is known to be the voice of singlehood. I still remember vividly her 2008 article on singles being short-changed. As much as I remember how Theresa Tan wrote this one-liner: "Sumiko Tan is single and hating it.Theresa Tan is married and loving it." So now with a new arrival, it should be interesting. Should it? Frankly speaking, I don't care. It amuses me though that my friend said I remind him of Sumiko Tan at times and that probably I will write such sentiments as I reach her stage. I beg to differ though because we have different ideals. Absolutely!

BUT.. lately because of stressor, I actually asked myself this question. Why did I had to make my life so difficult. Why did I not just give my life to someone else to take care for me. Why must I slog days and nights while other girls just relax and wait for their SO path the golden way for them. Yah, right now, I just want to runaway. So I am feeling very heart-wrenched that my ticket to UK has flown out of my hand the day I chose to travel instead of go for interview. Although, I think there is really not much of a decision I can make with regards to it as I have long decided the trip has to go on.

So Sumiko wishes a new year and a new relationship. And I wish a new year and a new hideout. Please let me just hide somewhere where nobody can find me and ask me how am I. Because I feel rotten to give the reply "So So". And though I doubt my friend reads this, but ya I actually understand why in 2010 she only wants this one resolution - To be more zen-like. It really helps... so long I can figure out how to balance myself again (by ignoring stressor perhaps?).

p/s: I probably need to slog out another few more nights before I can embark on my holiday posts.. is way overdue..

pp/s: And I want a new writing style for my blog... let me think about it..

Full Tarot Reading on 9th Jan 2010

Full Spread

What Covers You 

The Tower 

Briefly: For some people this can mean a radical change in their lives that was unexpected. It can be major house move, change of location to a totally different area or country, a divorce, or other sudden development which means you have to adapt to the ever changing forces around you.


Full Meaning: This is an awesome card to look at. There is a picture of a tower and in the background is a storm and lightening. There are dark clouds and the sea leaps up around the building. There are people leaping from the windows to escape the blazing inferno. For some people this can mean a radical change in their lives that was unexpected. It can be major house move, change of location to a totally different area or country, a divorce, or other sudden development which means you have to adapt to the ever changing forces around you. Sometimes if means that a radical overhaul of your life is needed to put things into a different perspective for you. You may have been in a rut or felt unable to make new changes, and the energy of this card shows that somehow an event will occur that gives you the opportunity to do just that. If some disaster does strike that you have difficulty coping with, be aware that for some reason there is a lesson or a message in the experience for you to learn from. If a relationship ends around this time, take heed that this was meant to be, and that your resistance to move with the ever changing tide will be made more difficult if you do not adapt. It will be easier on yourself if you can remain flexible and ready to do whatever you have to do when the time comes.

What Crosses You 

Ten of Wands 

Briefly: Your objectives now need to be focussed on the long term solution to current problems, rather than just a band aid on the situation.


Full Meaning: This card shows a man struggling with a heavy load. This may reflect some aspect of your life where you feel a little overwhelmed and unable to continue without a strong will and a determination not to fail. Your motives are of high standing and you only want what is best for everyone concerned. You will soon gain the feather in your cap and be able to move freely through life as if the coast is finally clear. Your objectives now need to be focussed on the long term solution to current problems, rather than just a band aid on the situation. Give yourself every effort to succeed and you surely will.

What Crowns You 

Six of Cups 

Briefly: There are fortunate and fun events coming if you allow yourself time to stop and smell the roses.


Full Meaning: This card shows a young girl and a young boy facing each other and between them are six cups filled with flowers. This is often associated with memories of past events, in youth or with your early family life. Perhaps someone from your past catches up with you and brings some good news into your life. It is also a card suggesting that you allow the child within to come out and have some fun and get togethers with those you care about. The season can be representative of Spring or Summer and also suggesting that that time will bring happiness and contentment. You may also be on the receiving end of some lovely gifts, and sometimes particularly flowers. There are fortunate and fun events coming if you allow yourself time to stop and smell the roses, so to speak and to get out there amongst others in the world and socialise. You may also purchase new clothes during the coming few months.

What Is Beneath You 

Nine of Wands 

Briefly: A time of waiting, of being patient while the crop ripens or the project matures.


Full Meaning: Nine of Wands. This card has a picture a robust bearded man with a helmet on, carrying a wand over his shoulder and another 8 wands are upright beside him. This is a time of waiting, of being patient while the crop ripens or the project matures. We need to understand that stability arises out of wisdom and patience. Haste and immaturity do not assist our plans at a time like this. We need to develop the sense of endurance and being in it for the long haul. We must persevere and be able to see that nothing of value or no-one of merit arrives prior to the right time. If we can maintain our steadfastness during the period before fruition, then the harvest will reap a healthy profit. It may be time to do things that represent protection, such as battening down the hatches, fixing the fences or the gate or door and ensuring that all is safe within the home. Perhaps we need some other financial protection such as a nest egg, a new savings project or even some insurance of some kind, whether personal or for our belongings. Trust in the old saying that 'all comes to those who wait'.

What Is Behind You 

The Sun 

Briefly: There is also the possibility, for those who desire a child, that a pregnancy is imminent. Any new business venture also has the signs of success written on it, so proceed with confidence that all will be well.


Full Meaning: This card depicts the Sun and in the front of this are a male and a female looking deep into each others eyes. There are sunflowers on the card, some greenery and a wall in the background. Often this card symbolises Summer or is associated with the sing of Leo. Perhaps an important event will occur around your own Summer month or during the one month time span of Leo which is from July 23 up to August 22. For some this can mean a very special relationship on the horizon, and one that may very well lead to marriage, this will be a successful union and bring much happiness into both people's lives. There is also the possibility, for those who desire a child, that a pregnancy is imminent. Any new business venture also has the signs of success written on it, so proceed with confidence that all will be well. Also a distinct possibility is a trip to a warm location in the near future.

What Is Before You 

Five of Wands 

Briefly: A symbol of some conflict that is currently going on around you or is about to take place.


Full Meaning: Often this is a symbol of some conflict that is currently going on around you or is about to take place. However for some it can be a gathering of people, united together to achieve a common goal. This could be akin to builders erecting a house, or even a political party meeting to seek cohesion in their direction. More than likely though a lot of activity takes place and you can see that there are basically many hands on deck. The issue may be that there is some expertise and effort needed to get everyone thinking on the same level, rather than a divided group. If you wish to create a more harmonious state amongst a group of people who are not seeing eye to eye, try to find a common denominator and work on that element of these people.

Your Self 

Eight of Pentacles 

Briefly: A keen eye for details may lead to you gaining a financial increase.


Full Meaning: The picture on this card shows a dark haired man with a moustache bending over a table laden with coins. He has a hammer in his right hand and an engraving implement in his left hand. He is studiously working away making the coins with his hands. He is strong, muscular and very attentive to details. On the wall behind him are the results of his hard work, various pentacles displayed there for all to see, like awards. If you are this man then are you industrious and will lend a hand wherever possible. You have a keen eye for details and can be counted on to finish the days tasks. You may be about to come into a financial increase of some kind, which may be by your own efforts, or given to you for your own generosity in the past. If you are a woman you may be about to meed this man and he will be a loyal companion and a devoted husband and father if you choose to become united with him. He will be a good provider and keen to see that you get your needs met in every way.

Around You 

Five of Swords 

Briefly: A time where one person has won out at the expense of two other people.


Full Meaning: This card is mostly dark in colour and can represent a time of fear or depression. There are 3 people in the picture and one of them has the upper hand in the matter. The other two have lost something that they valued, whether it was love, a material possession of whatever to the one who is holding three of the swords.
In the background there is the Sun setting so this can indicate early evening. One of the people is on his knees and appears to be sad and crying. He has lost whatever he/she once had and is now sorry, but it is all too late. Generally I read this as one person has won out at the expense of two other people and they are walking away with their trophy, person or thing of value. The others have lost out and they now know it. They may feel they have been betrayed, but they weren't, it was a matter of the best one winning, and there could only be one winner in this situation. Usually this means that you are the one who is the winner

Hopes and Fears 

The Hanged Man 

Briefly: There is some type of time lapse going on around you. Things have not quite reached fruition and you have to take a wait and see attitude.


Full Meaning: When you draw this card you are being advised that there is some type of time lapse going on around you. Things have not quite reached fruition and you have to take a wait and see attitude. There may be some delay to your plans and it is best to be patient and bide your time. Someone may seem unbalanced around you and creating a difficult though not unsolvable problem. Trust your judgement and make allowances for this for the time being. Time is the great healer of most dilemmas so be the keeper of your own counsel and it will serve you well. Someone may also be having difficulty with their leg and unable to walk or get around as they usually do. They may need a walking stick or crutches, just temporarily. Give a wide berth to anyone who is not in the best of health either physically, mentally or emotionally. If you have to make an important decision around now, take your time to weigh all the facts and be sure that it is the best choice possible.

Outcome 

Six of Pentacles 

Briefly: Some financial assistance that will change the course of your destiny if you act wisely.


Full Meaning: The picture on this card shows a good looking man, very rugged up against the bitter cold, as it must be the Winter season at the time. He holds a coin in his right hand and is in the process of giving it to those who ask. There are two hands outstretched in front of him which are the hands of those in need of some financial assistance. In his left hand he holds a set of scales to balance out who is get receive the assistance. In the background behind him are six large pentacles, or coins, that show his wealth. If you are the person in the picture you have come a long way and are not in the position of being able to help those around you. If you are not the person in the picture, then you will seen be on the receiving end of some financial assistance that will change the course of your destiny if you act wisely. If you invest your money with prudence you may one day end up as financially secure as the one who helped you in the first place. The number six may be significant in respect to the amount received. As this number is also connected to the planet Venus, there may also be some loving encounter or experience that gives you a new outlook on life.

Bflygal's comments:  I haven't been so stressed before since that time... I really don't know what to do... I really don't know... the real cause for the stress is due to the task.. or the person... 

Aftermath of Europe Trip

(Specially written personal pensieve)

The trip came to an end and all in all, I really enjoyed myself. This trip is probably a breakthrough for me as it is the first time I travelled for so many days.

The souvenirs from Eurail were lovely too. Except I think it did not ask me to state CL address so her souvenir came to my house too.. Sigh, she has left for UK else it would have come useful for her. Posting the photos for you to see gal!

I know I mentioned I did not want to go back Brussels.. but while researching Italy, I realised they have a Maasmechelen Village Outlet shopping at Genk Station. Maybe I should go back there again? Haha for shopping? Okok.. I better drop that idea as I'm super broke now.


Lastly I'm thankful that I had an accommodating companion who at least share similar interests with me. When she left for UK, her friend said I lost a travelling mate. Haha but I only travelled with her once. I do like this companion as at least we don't waste time shopping much. Probably the reason I don't like packaged tours... They are filled with shopping centres sigh. Anyway even if I do miss her, knowing her, I know she has been too many trips with other friends to miss me haha.. So I should instead realised what I replied her friend - guess I just have to find another friend (or I will just tour alone.. Used to it already.)

Next trip: Italy!

p/s: While planning my Italy trip, I recounted back my past trips.
Japan, Tokyo: I had my long time friend to bring me around for the first few days and only ventured out on my own on the last day. It was my first tour alone made possible because my relationship status changed that time and my parents kind of indulged in me. It was probably the start of wanting more of such freedom...

Taiwan, Taipei: I had QR loaned me his planning. And I did not venture very far out of Taipei other than Taoyuan on one day. Relatively did stick to my planning though changed a lot last minute. Yupz I should bear that into consideration that Italy probably will be the same too.

Japan, Osaka-Tokyo: This was easy, just follow the tour guide. But too much shopping.

Thailand, Bangkok: Planning all in BKK so once again not too much of a headache. The embassy gave me a map too so did not get too lost. Pretty fun actually.. plus I get to see my friend working there haha..

Europe: Yupz as mentioned, my biggest breakthrough. And currently my favourite tour trip.
So Italy.. I believed would be just as good.. the weather is fine there.. just one word of caution.. Please be vigilant!

Europe travelog:
Part 0: Off to find my White Xmas
Part 1: Frankfurt
Part 2: Amsterdam
Part 3: Brussels
New Age Santa at work - Merry Christmas to you!
Part 4: Luxembourg
Part 5: London
Happy New Year 2010!

Letting Go

Source: A Slice of Life by Eugene Loh

Letting go does not mean that you stop caring.
It means that you can no longer do it for someone else.

Letting go is not cutting yourself off.
It's realising that you can't control another.

Letting go is not trying to change or blame another.
It's about making the most of yourself.

Letting go is not caring for, but caring about.

Letting go is not about fixing, it's about being supportive.

Letting go is not judging.
It's allowing another to be a human being.

Letting go is not denying.
It's accepting.

Letting go is not adjusting everything to your vagaries and desires, but taking each day as it comes and cherishing yourself in it.

Letting go is not about regretting the past.
It's about growing and living for the future.

Letting go is fearing less, and loving more.

Letting go emotionally is endlessly harder than letting go physically. But if you practise it, you'll find it easier and easier to do. Choose peace of mind.

Happy New 2010

***** Butterflygal's Trip Update *****

The new year has arrived... but what was my thoughts in this day then... while I was in Greenwich, London??

I was thinking if I had ill-treated my travelling companion because she does seems hungry especially in Brussels...

I was thinking that I finally know that bratwurst and hotdog really taste worlds apart...

And that croissants became part of our breakfast staple in Europe because it really was so much cheaper.. and while I like to try variety, but I still prefer the plain old croissants..

Oh ya and these food photos did prove that I fed my companion... shabbily no doubt haha. Sorry but as planner, meals are something I never give it much of a consideration.. so... 辛苦你了！