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Sunday, September 30, 2007

Tarot Reading

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Tarot Reading from Facebook on 30th Sept 2007

The Hermit

The Hermit denotes a need to have some space between you and everyday hustle and bustle of a busy world. The Hermit needs to retreat. Indeed, happiness for The Hermit requires seclusion, freedom for material wants and time for intense introspection. The answers The Hermit needs cannot be found in our physical world. The truths he seeks are internal and spiritual. The distraction of a well developed social life can only impede his quest for personal truths. Still, The Hermit does sometimes need to share time with others so that he can learn or teach, guide or be guided. The Hermit’s time spent amongst people depletes his energy quickly. To avoid an overlord, he has to retreat from social settings quickly.

Friday, September 28, 2007

Casilda

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Casilda is a female warrior name. When my brother showed me his pet application in Facebook, the rabbit reminds me of Neopet’s cybunny. She was my very first pet in Neopets. That was 8 years ago. Over the years, my pet has evolved to other species but I still love cybunny best. That’s why I created another account especially for cybunny.

Anyway those times I never spent much effort naming my pets. This habit only started when I was mapling due to his influence. I have stop mapling ever since I got myself a new computer which is weird because part of the reason I bought my new computer is to play games. But I never got around playing any serious application games with it, thanks to the buggy Vista. If my colleague never mention about his character, I most probably would have forgotten how painstakingly I had trained my warriors and mages.

Maybe that is why I created Casilda. She is a simple purpabit in Facebook who likes to battle only because of the items she may obtained haha. And she is supposed to be my strength.

I was anticipating 2 things recently. When things are so close to being achieved, something unexpected happen which bewildered me. I was quite worried I will lose the strength to execute what I had been counting down for. It is weird as it seems to be buying more time for me to reconsider my decision. Have I once again misread?

To delay it by one week, after which I am unsure what reaction I would get either. Is my heart resolved? Looking back, what saddens me is the indecisive nature. To continue in the current state, I will one day lose focus of myself and settle for the current state only. In the Alchemist, it is said that one should always accept what he has been given and not think he does not deserve it. Else heaven will really give him lesser the next time. Of course one should also not ask for more. I have not really figure out how to achieve my dreams and yet be satisfied with my lot haha. But I’m truly grateful for all that GA has done for me.

I’m not sure if I will still proceed on for the second matter. I had thought of settling it yesterday. But a twist in event might cause my state to be back to square one. And if I insist on saying it out, I might not be able to handle the consequences. In the end, I gave up clearing up the matter. Maybe when I get provoked again, and I cannot swallow it, I will speak my mind.

Right now, I only want strength to continue my counting down. I need to keep my fighting spirit!

Totto-Chan: The Little Girl at the Window

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Totto-Chan: The Little Girl at the Window
by Tetsuko Kuroyanagi

I am writing this entirely based on my (lousy) memory. I am writing it because this is one book that I actually feels like buying (the original in Japanese) even if I do not know how to read.

At first I thought it was a work of fiction because the way the school ran was really very weird. But later on, I realised that the author had written the story based on her own childhood.

The author is a popular Japanese actress who once was a student at Tomoe Gaukuen, an experimental school in Tokyo, Japan. This special school was founded by Mr. Sosaku Kobayashi who had a unique concept of teaching while observing his own daughter.

I remember his first meeting with Totto-Chan, he allowed her to talk freely. And she talks for a very long time, until her throat was dry and she ran out of topic (which is very rare for such a girl). Such patience is indeed rare in most adults who usually feel that children are just spouting nonsense and prefer for the children to listen to him/her.

I remember their first swimming lessons. They were swimming in bluff although they are allowed to swim in swimsuits. Mr. Kobayashi wishes to inculcate in these young children that their body is the same as anybody else and that they should be proud of their own body. Most importantly, he wishes to tell a special child with some deformation that he should be proud of his own body. These children learn that there is nothing remarkable about physical appearance and prefer to focus instead on the swimming pleasures.

I remember their classroom lessons. There is a list of agenda which one must complete by the end of the day. It would include English, Mathematics, Science, Arts etc. You can start with any of the objective first so long you complete the list by the end. The teacher is around for you to ask questions. Some people will start with their favourite subjects which could be Mathematics or Arts. And end the day with their least favourites. It is your own call how you wish to complete your tasks. Most importantly, you will learn not to be distracted by the classmate besides you who might be doing a laboratory experiment while you are learning your English.

Most importantly, I remember the train carriages. The whole school is actually formed by train carriages. The day Mr. Kobayashi brought in a new carriage as their library was a big event. All the children camped in school that night to see the carriage being brought in (without any railway tracks). It reminds me about the bus that was used for some remedial thingy some years ago in Singapore. Hmm but I think the bus idea did not work too well here? Not sure.

This book opens up a lot of ideas with regards to teaching. I am very impressed and hope that there will be people as dedicated towards teaching as Mr. Kobayashi. Schools, like any organisations, tend to lose their focus because of the competitive nature in society. But so long as there are a few who are dedicated, I believe that the education system will still be sufficiently efficient.

Thursday, September 27, 2007

许哲佩-气球

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许哲佩-气球

黑的白的红的黄的
紫的绿的蓝的灰的
你的我的他的她的
大的小的圆的扁的
好的坏的美的丑的
新的旧的各种款式各种花色任你选择
黑的白的红的黄的
紫的绿的蓝的灰的
你的我的他的她的
大的小的圆的扁的
好的坏的美的丑的
新的旧的各种款式各种花色任我选择
飞的高高越远越好
剪断了线它就死掉
寿命短短高兴就好
喜欢就好没大不了
越变越小越来越小
快要死掉也很骄傲
你不想说就别再说
我不想听不想再听
就把一切誓言当作汽球一般随它而去
我不在意不会在意放它而去随它而去
气球
飘进云里
飘进风里
结束生命
气球
飘进爱里
飘进心里
慢慢死去

Bflygal's comment:
Heard this song this morning... and remember a phrase someone mentioned to me before
Begin with an End in Mind


It means to figure out the image of the end of your life as a frame of reference by which everything else is measured. And the reason I did not really “heed” this advice is because I have decided to live everyday like it is the end of my life. Sounds pessimistic? Not that I am really cursing myself to die. It is because I had earlier on read a powerpoint advising us to treat people as if they are dying. You know the mentality of human being? Only at one’s deathbed, everybody will start saying only good things about him. That he is remarkable, that he is kind. Only when you know he is dying, you will treat him doubly well. You will try to patch things up, bury hatchet.

But I did not want to treat as if everybody is dying, so I decided to assume if I am dying, what I hope to achieve today. Not that it really helps me as I tend to loaf and stone for a very long period of time.

Actually I long had an idea of living my life without any regrets since beginning of this year which is why I took one drastic action that period. Unfortunately it makes me more vulnerable than before and I had to keep figuring out how to protect myself, strengthen myself.

But the cautious me has made my development slow. The latest event really bewildered me. As of now, I am still unable to figure out what message Heaven has for me considering he knows that I have been counting down for so long. Maybe he decides to give me some hiccups and hurdles to overcome again. Whatever it is, if I fail, just re-take, and if I overcome, good for me. Haha!

Free Your Mind

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Eugene Loh, A Slice of Life, 938LIVE, a station of MediaCorp Radio

ADAPTED FROM AN UNKNOWN AUTHOR

Many years ago there was a young man living in Korea, who felt that his life was quite empty. So he shaved his head and went up into the mountains to live the life of a monk. He studied diligently for a number of years, but still felt that he did not really understand how to be free.

The young man had heard of certain Zen masters living in China so he gathered his meager belongings and started a long and arduous journey across arid plains.
Every day he would walk for many hours, and would stop only after finding a patch of land that had a source of water. Finding water was not a simple task in such dry lands. There were many times he had to walk until late in the evening before finding a suitable location in which to rest and be refreshed.

One day was particularly hot, and the monk walked on endlessly, unable to find an oasis. When he did finally find a shaded area he collapsed on the ground and slept for several hours. He woke up some time after midnight and he was tremendously thirsty. He crawled around on his hands and knees in the darkness, and ran across a roughly made cup that must have been left by a previous traveler. The custom of leaving a cup with some water in it, for the next traveler to drink from was quite common. He drank the meager amount of water in the cup and he felt very blessed and very at peace with the world. He lay down again and slept quite comfortably.
The next day, upon waking up, he saw what the night before, he had taken to be the roughly made cup. It was the shattered skull of a baby wolf. The skull was caked with dried blood, and numerous insects were floating on the surface of the small quantity of filthy rain water still left at the bottom.

The monk saw all of this and immediately started to vomit. He had a great wave of nausea, and as the fluid poured forth from his mouth, it was as if his mind was being cleansed. He immediately felt a deep sense of understanding. Last night, since he couldn't see he assumed that he had found a cup which had been left by a fellow traveler. The water tasted delicious. This morning, upon seeing the skull, the thought of what he had done the night before made him sick to his stomach. He understood that it was his thinking, and not the water, that made him feel ill. It was his thinking that created good and bad, right and wrong, delicious and foul tasting. With no thinking there was no suffering.

How about you? Is there some situation in your life where it's your thinking that makes for the suffering and not the actual circumstances you are embroiled in? If this is so, it's a great opportunity for you to cleanse your mind and be free.

Bflygal’s comments:
I had wanted to write a blog on 想太多. And once again this article came timely. I thought it would be a tiring week. After the 24 hour coding, supposedly I never really rested. Monday’s cut off was somewhat a blessing. It gave me time to read the report. Although after that, I was given 2 more versions to integrate which as of now, I still have not touched. Then I had training on Tuesday and Wednesday which means more time to stone haha.

But today seems hectic because not much work was accomplished in the last 3 days. Monday’s cut off might have affected the mail server for a system while something had triggered some major inconsistency in another system. Then there are other miscellaneous issues to resolve. Everything was screaming for my attention that in the end my escapist mentality crept up and I decided to “treasure” my last chance of early release. Not that I left everything a mess. The mail was up just that too much re-sending had occurred. It is an amusing thought though. When no emails were sent, they call to ask why no emails. When too many duplicates were sent, they call to ask why so many mails. Haha, I guess everything has a limit, not too much, not too little. As for the other system, there is nothing much I can help them as it has to be manual triggering at their side. I can only check the code which most probably will take me quite a while (and I need a quiet environment, definitely not when my phone keeps ringing.)

I guess if there is anything that controls my life, it is my thoughts. That is the only driving force. If I thought it would be a tiring week, I guess I can conclude this is a tiring week. But I know deep down GA did his best to unload my burden even though I come home late everyday. And if I badly need a rest, I will just concussed and rest sufficiently haha. Most importantly, I believe today would be a good day. It is my last evening lesson for this module (I have not made up my mind on the rest of the modules). And the results should be out too.

Anyway this reminds me of the story of The Weather Man. He is a pretty known figure because he tells the weather. Some people love him, some people hate him. Supposedly this should not matter to him though. But it did, because he has low self-esteem. And his low self-esteem is pretty much on display to the public. Thus those who hate him actually threw food at him. Food that are fast food, that is left over, that they do not want. I am not surprised with the cruelty of this world, especially the metropolitan world. People tend to bully the weak even if the weak are capable.

In the end, his dying father managed to convert him. He took archery and though it might help improve his self-esteem, he suspects the bow in hand makes people think twice about throwing food at him. Generally though, he got happier.

Yeah, so I must make sure I have more positive thoughts. Hee hee!

Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Hayden Pannetiere - I still believe

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Hayden Pannetiere - I still believe
From : Cinderella III - A Twist In Time

Somehow I know I will find a way
To a brighter day in the sun
Somewhere that I know he waits for me
Someday soon he'll see I'm the one

I won't give up on this feeling
And nothing could keep me away

CHORUS
Cause I still believe in destiny
That you and I were meant to be
I still wish on the stars as they fall from above
Cause I still believe, believe in love

I know what's real can not be denied
Although it may hide for a while
With just one touch, love can calm your fears
Turning all your tears into smiles

It's such a wonderous feeling
I know that my heart can't be wrong

CHORUS
Cause I still believe in destiny
That you and I were meant to be
I still wish on the stars as they fall from above
Cause I still believe, believe in love

Love can make miracles, change everything
Lift you from the darkness and make your heart sing
Love is a river when you fall
It's the greatest power of all

CHORUS
Cause I still believe in destiny
That you and I were meant to be
I still wish on the stars as they fall from above
Cause I still believe, believe in love

Bflygal's comment:
Lecturer has been kind to let us off early today. But I don't know why am I still awake. In some sense, I was stoning. And I was watching a fairy tale. Maybe that is why I did not attempt to type my report. I don't know.


I just adopted Ashlyn in Facebook. She means Vision. And she is cute. She reminds me of Drip Drip and Drop Drop. The 2 toy dolphins I have. They are pretty creatures. One is pink and the other is blue. They were bought on 2 separate occasions in 2 different places. Destiny brought them to me. Even though things have changed.

Cinderella says when you touch the hand, you know he/she is the true love. Sounds too magical.

Monday, September 24, 2007

The cycle

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I did something wrong today. My unease makes me bored. And boredom tends to make me become curious at things which might have serious repercussions. Not that I cause any problem. But every time I attempted to do something, something else will happen. Is it a cycle? Is it to prevent me?

While watching My Last Breakthrough, Fen brought up the topic of cycle. 8 years after the sudden death of his fiancée, Fen finally found the murderer. And the murderer happens to be a suitable bone marrow donor for Qian’s brother. The murderer had taken his fiancée’s life, and yet be able to give life to Qian’s brother. It took a baby to make Fen figure out the life cycle. Tammy’s husband had died recently and Tammy loves her husband so much, she kept the baby which is the last gift her husband gave her. Even though her serious heart condition makes her an unsuitable mother and doctors had advised for her to abort the baby. A husband’s death makes a baby’s life compulsory.

I feel uneasy. I don’t know how to interpret these 2 signs. Why the news that makes me remember the quote? That makes me rethink once again. Why the cut-off? They say Singaporeans have herding mentality, thus they will follow where the crowd is. It is also a reason why they are obedient. I just realized I don’t really have much herding mentality. But it had bought me some time to do my report. Maybe it is fated.

For every action, there is a reaction. That is how the cycle persists.

Stroke

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Source :
Wiki
Stroke Center

Early symptoms
  • Sudden walking problems, vertigo, loss of balance or coordination
  • Sudden weakness, numbness or tingling in the face, arm or leg, especially on one side of the body which may be seen as drooping on one side of the face
  • Sudden confusion, trouble speaking or understanding
  • Sudden vision problems in one or both eyes
  • Sudden acute headache without a known cause
  • Very sudden onset of nausea, fever and vomiting
  • Brief fainting spells, loss of consciousness or convulsions
Several of these symptoms can occur for other reasons, but strokes are frequently characterized by the suddenness of their appearance. It can be a costly mistake to ignore symptoms — waiting for them to subside.

Risk Factors
  • Poor diet: A diet high in saturated fat and low in fruits, vegetables, whole grains, and fiber increases your risk of having a stroke
  • Smoking increases your chances of having a stroke
  • Lack of Physical Activity: People who do not get moderate exercise regularly are at increased risk.
  • Medical Conditions: The following medical conditions increase your risk of having a stroke:
    • Atrial fibrillation
    • Previous stroke
    • Known vascular disease
    • Diabetes
    • High blood pressure
    • Blood fat disorders (such as high LDL cholesterol)
    • Obesity
  • Age: Risk increases with age
  • Gender: Men are at higher risk of stroke than women are earlier in life, but women's risk catches up to men's within about ten years after menopause.
  • Genetic Factors: Although your risk of stroke is higher if a family member has had a stroke, this risk factor is minimal in relation to the risk factors listed above.
  • Ethnic Background: African-Americans are more likely to have hemorrhagic strokes. This may be due to a higher incidence of high blood pressure among African-Americans. This risk is also minimal in relation to the risk factors listed above.
Types of strokes

Ischemic stroke
The most common type of stroke -- accounting for almost 80% of all strokes -- is caused by a clot or other blockage within an artery leading to the brain. Ischemic stroke is commonly divided into thrombotic stroke, embolic stroke, systemic hypoperfusion , or venous thrombosis.

Hemorrhagic stroke
A hemorrhagic stroke, or cerebral hemorrhage, is a form of stroke that occurs when a blood vessel in the brain ruptures or bleeds. Like ischemic strokes, hemorrhagic strokes interrupt the brain's blood supply because the bleeding vessel can no longer carry the blood to its target tissue. In addition, blood irritates brain tissue, disrupting the delicate chemical balance, and, if the bleeding continues, it can cause increased intracranial pressure which physically impinges on brain tissue and restricts blood flow into the brain. In this respect, hemorrhagic strokes are more dangerous than their more common counterpart, ischemic strokes. There are two types of hemorrhagic stroke: intracerebral hemorrhage, and subarachnoid hemorrhage.

Sunday, September 23, 2007

24 hours coding

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Finally the day arrived, and disappeared without a trance. Seriously, time really past very fast last night. There was this participant's lappie who will "say aloud" the time every hour. And each time, the voice said the time, my group members and I will look at each other in disbelief, thinking aloud, "One hour had passed?".

And in the wee hours, I had actually koed for half an hour. Got so fed up (and so deprived of music) that I left the room (yah we were "locked" in a room to code haha.. though we were allowed regular breaks and meals lah) and coded outside while listening to some music. That is because I had forgotten to bring my ear phone and did not want my music to disturb anybody. Weirdly that was like 4 a.m. or so and I had been feeling uneasy that period. I wonder is it really the music deprivation state or because of that reason?

Anyway I seen how remarkable my group mates were. We came in with zero knowledge and yet could still code something out to submit haha. Of course, it is nothing compared to what the other participants submitted. Most of them had big lofty aspirations of having blog feeds, forums, social networking all into this portal. I guess that is the trend now, but I had wanted to see something more special. Maybe see when they will talk about the final works? Anyway, I'm proud of my group mate still. Haha even though we only had 2.5 php pages (0.5 because it was a hidden php processing page). Maybe got chance will upload to google pages. Had learnt alot of google tools too.

Overall, I quite like this experience. And I have to say it is once in a lifetime bah. I wouldn't know if I can find classmates who are that onz to join such stuff again. And age is catching up on us. Although they had pondered on doing a similar stint for our workshop. Haha but maybe it will not be 24 hours.

On a side note, SMU is a pretty cool school. Their basement has a lot of shops and it had been fun exploring their site and enjoying their night scenery too. I rarely see Orchard in its night beauty. The silence, the stillness. Forgot to bring my camera but I had still managed to capture some photos.

Yawnz. Remarkably, after the whole event, I am still alert sufficiently to drive around some nearby area. I had planned to do some stuff (which actually include typing my report) on the way back but some last minute news disrupted my plan. Think I should be able to go catch some rest now. At least the unease I felt had kinda dispersed. But something I told my friend before came back to my mind... sighz.

Preview (Not sure when it will be taken off though)

Saturday, September 22, 2007

明道+ 陈乔恩 - 再次相信

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樱野3加1 再次相信

再次相信
演唱: 明道+ 陈乔恩
词:樱野/柯呈雄/祝锵博 曲: Goran Kralj

(明)有太多回忆 都发生在那年的 仲夏季
明明该天晴 爱却在你的眼中 下雨
(恩)我们或许都遗忘 那些曾经的美好
已慢慢阳光下发芽
(明)如果你 愿意
(合)愿意再次相信 相信我是爱你
(明)我不让你失望

(明)我们不该靠太近 总是在争吵过後 清醒
夏天的热气 让人老控制不住坏脾气
(恩)我们或许太任性 又或许太过在乎你
才来追逐著背影

(合)如果你 愿意 愿意再次相信
相信我是爱你 我不让你失望
我还在 这里 倔强的夏天里
有风也有大雨
(明)阳光洒满地

(合)如果停不了 我能体会这心情
(明)我会奋不顾身地 把幸福都给你 如果你想要

(合)如果你 愿意 愿意再次相信
相信我是爱你 我不让你失望
我还在 这里 倔强的夏天里
有风也有大雨
(明)阳光洒满地

(明)我是不懂你 (恩)怎样的心情
(明)不是不懂你 (恩)这样的心情
(合)如果你愿意

Bflygal's comment:
A 2nd chance for MingEn?
A 2nd chance to believe fairy tale ending exists?