I remember Anne's window series. And I remember this scene previously. And because CL asked if I watched MZZDWAN 《命中注定我爱你》 before which invoked in me finding this post and thus reminded me what I blogged a year ago... which weirdly somehow linked me to end up at Anne's window again.
陈欣怡都可以离开台湾，去了上海，从新脱变。 我好像改变，又像在原地，是因为我并没有努力吗？可是有时候就算你原风不动地站在原地，但是原地未必也一成不变。原来你想要的原点，早已悄悄离开你了。
As I'm back from Melbourne for a week, I visited my ex company yesterday. Because I did not attend a colleague's son wedding so I decided to make the trip down. Nothing seems to change for them and yet so much has changed. More children getting married, getting older, having children. And I have already left them 2 years plus already. I have once wondered what will it be like if I had stayed. Perhaps nothing much changed if I really stayed. Not many of them knew I left my current company, went on hols for a long time, and re-joined again. Which I asked myself, did anything change for me either?
中山隆对欣怡说过：
如果你忘不掉的过去，那就干脆不要忘记了！埋在心底里，做为妳人生故事的一部分。那沉寂的过去呢，就会变成养份，你要知道，不能总往后看啊！那样妳就不会进步。
I couldn't forget the past. It was something I realised when I was in Manila. It kept rewinding in my mind. Maybe because I was alone then. And in Melbourne, I was once again living alone. People in solitary tends to let their mind go awry. I did not try to suppress the memories. And I realised whether I'm in SG or not, I can't avoid what I wanted to avoid by leaving. But that realisation does not stop from still wishing not to be in SG. I will never give up my citizenship, that is for sure. But I don't wish to be in SG because it cannot contribute what I want to do. And I no longer want to be in SG for too long a period, that is final.
Let me end this post with the following story to remind myself that while I'm in Melbourne, I must not lose track of what is my true agenda there and start chasing for unnecessary splurges. I realised lately I have a tendency to do that. Must find my ballerina's foci point!
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