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Saturday, August 21, 2010

A question for Jesus


As I stared at the cruxified statues which I had seen countless of time, I suddenly has a question for Jesus. Jesus, I asked, why did you go on with the cruxification even though you know it would break your mother's heart.
And my memories brought me back to my bible study days, the part before cruxification. Jesus has chickened out just before the betrayal day. And as he wondered aloud why was he chosen (to check reference), he knew it was his destiny to atone men's sins in hope men will learn after that. And his mum's heart has to be broken.
I asked GA, why did I fail my interview. And I got an answer to be patient. Like how I was patiently waiting for Jesus to be alone to take a photo of him. But is VSO not the answer to my destiny? Or is it not time for my destiny yet? I no longer like the lives CL and the likes lived... Of travelling and enjoying. oneself. I don't mind travelling but I want to do something useful in my travels. Not massages and shopping.
I'm tired and lost over what is my destiny. And I know I indeed dont't have the vast experience handling complicated personal relationships. God, is that an important criteria? Or have I been judged by people in their list of criteria, not my list?
I have travelled so far for an interview only to have failed it. Did I fail the interview or was I branded failure by the judges but not by myself? Can I make a balance or do I have to make my parents worry sick for me? But can I ever stop a parent from worrying?

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