Last Muse of 2008, First Muse of 2009

I have a habit of writing the unhappy post first so that it will be hidden by the happy posts published later and my blog will not start with a sad beginning. The problem is such post tends to be difficult to write and I ended up having a backlog. In the end, I had to release my Xmas break posts first else I get an overflow error haha.

Anyway I don't remember what made me melanholic already. Losing my camera spare battery was one and for that I hovered between "I must have done something bad and this is my punishment" to "this was taken to protect me from losing more precious stuff". It is the same déjà vu I had when I dropped my hdd. Anyway I bought the spare already so one less depressing thought.

Then spring cleaning always brings back all kinds of memories and feelings. But I'm done with it technically speaking (don't know where I hid those stuff, next year then remember haha). I remembered stoning in FB might add on the misery too. Then those gatherings of all kinds will accentuate the out of place feeling. However is weird that once I voice out my displeasure, something will happen to rectify it and motivate me to keep in contact with them. Frankly speaking, I have to admit FB is useful as it updates me about these people without too much an effort, being the ever curious me I supposed.

Oh did I mention that as 2009 starts peeking into my horizon, I became more unease and lost about myself. I had a few clashes, became irritable and doubtful, and was in trance most of the time. Thus I was amazed that I managed to cover my agenda for the Xmas mini break - temples, Pulau Ubin, Changi, Southern Ridge, Administration (taking leave on a working day can make one's day productive) and spring clean. Only missed out the museums (covering in 2009), Keppel Bay and Sentosa / Labrador Park (might do them in the same day, needs further research).

I had also watched too much love stories - Barbie as island princess, A walk to remember (re-watched.. still love it lots), Cape 7 and 100% Senorita (QE yeah!). I started to wonder if one should get terminal illness to experience love in its truest form. Because only then one will be more daring to fight for what she wants due to time constraint. Also they will live life to the fullest and treasure each other. Crap! What about your parents and others especially the atrociously expensive healthcare charges.

It's been more than a year. I feel like Li-Ann. Times I feel foolish missing and thinking. Times I make myself busy to preoccupy my mind. I guess that is one reason I don't want to see 2009.

The other more pressing issue probably is money. And when I worry too much, I turn calculative for meagre amounts. I guess I need to figure something out. As what my friend analysed, I don't feel too hopeful about 2009.

GA, I miss you. Oh and really grateful for the good weather during the Xmas mini break.

Without suffering, there will be no compassion
- From A Walk To Remember

逃避未必躲得过， 面对.不一定最难受，转身不一定最软弱
- 100% Senorita

Maybe that will enlighten me for 2009 haha.

While on the topic of "世界上最遥远的距离" because of 100% Senorita, I found this paragraph

世界上最遥远的距离
不是生与死的距离
而是我站在你面前 你不知道我爱你

世界上最遥远的距离
不是我站在你面前 你不知道我爱你
而是爱到痴迷 却不能说我爱你

世界上最遥远的距离
不是我不能说我爱你
而是想你痛彻心脾 却只能深埋心底

世界上最遥远的距离
不是我不能说我想你
而是彼此相爱 却不能够在一起

世界上最遥远的距离
不是彼此相爱 却不能够在一起
而是明知道真爱无敌 却装作毫不在意

世界上最遥远的距离
不是瞬间便无处寻觅
而是尚未相遇 便注定无法相聚

世界上最遥远的距离
不是 我就站在你面前 你却不知道我爱你
而是 我就站在你面前 你却听不到我说 我爱你

世界上最遥远的距离
不是 你听不到我的倾诉 我爱你
而是我永远都没有机会对你倾诉

and CL's contribution
世界上最遥远的距离
就在眼前，但永远都感觉不到

lastly my contribution
世界上最遥远的距离
是刻意制造的距离，存心逃避的意志

And shucks I did not sleep through to 2009, I got glued to 100% Senorita. Well either way, I find myself alive in 2009 so I guess I just have to figure out a way to survive 2009 (preferably in a way I like haha). March on!