Love in motion

Angels are love in motion. They never rest, they struggle to grow, and they are beyond good and evil. Love that consumes all, that destroys all, that forgives all. Angels are made of that love, and are at the same time its messengers.
The love of the exterminating angel, who one day will take away our soul, and of the guardian angel, who brings our soul back. Love in motion.
Love at war.
There is no love in peace. Whoever seeks peace is lost.
Source: Paulo Coelho's The Valkyrie

Vision was bad in a sense I could see but I couldn’t focus especially towards the computer and I got quite irritated. Lately I have a feeling that GA is on holiday haha.. after I came back. Think I must have relied too much on him thus he needed a break.

Although there were still little surprises he had installed during that period. I had an impromptu oral which resulted in me finally talking to some of the people in the class, and remembered one of them belong to my security class when he told me the name. Coincidentally, the next day in the docent training, I knew his colleague and ex-colleague. The biggest shock though is to find out that the recruiting head is indeed my CO senior. Actually I kind of recognised her during the interview but I couldn’t be sure because she had used an English name. So when she asked if I remembered her, I immediately asked if she’s my CO senior.

The reason I don’t feel secured for the past few days though is because I haven’t gel with the assigned group where I have to do a project with. And maybe the vision really affects my mood. But just yesterday, I suddenly felt that GA is back. Because a friend I had been looking for contacted me to clarify some financial matters, just when I was telling XX my financial status is not what he believed so. After finishing Sophie Kinsella’s Shopaholic Takes Manhattan, I thought a lot about financial debts and EQ etc.

And because 最熟悉的陌生人suddenly asked me this morning when is my graduation ceremony. I’m actually very shocked but I guess it is a sign that I should tell him, even though telling him doesn’t mean anything anymore. The stuff I did not have the courage to say. Was it a mistake to have caught sight of 范瑋方’s 有一種愛叫放手?

情為人願，緣為天語。

有些愛注定不能相守，愛到盡頭請不要強求。
如果妳愛他，請讓他幸福；
如果妳不愛他，請給別人愛他的機會，也給自己一個機會。
有時候，有一種愛叫放手，不管是對妳，還是對他。

因為愛他，所以離開他。

有人愛了，但過於執著，固執地堅持了本不該堅持的，因為他們錯誤地把愛當成了一種佔有。其實，愛不是絕對的佔有；愛是適度的距離、無限的包容、與適時的放手。
Source: 范瑋方’s 有一種愛叫放手

I did not have the courage to buy the book in the end still though I think it was less than NT200. Towards him, I lost all courage. And with that attitude, I procrastinated on other stuff too. It is funny that while on that topic, I penned the following lines with an entirely different situation in mind.

给了希望 却退缩。
使人失望 又不管。
只好绝望 爱，放手。

The words left unsaid still remained unsaid. Even though XX told me that last heard, he wasn’t happy about being displaced and thought of deferment. I had an impulse to ask him yesterday. I had the same impulse today. But as what QR said, if one thinks too much on certain action, it will never be carried out.

Anyway my friend asked me not to keep thinking about my vision to expedite the recovery process. And to cheer up. But Monday’s dinner made me realised I couldn’t focus my vision in dim areas too. Hmm I need to think about other stuff… like my French test this Saturday…