It was only on Sunday morning that I learnt of the demise of Professor Randy. I’m unsure if I’m affected in a sense I’m not close to this person. The first time I blog about him is in March this year on his last lecture. I thought long and hard before I finally decided to buy his book as a gift. And I know I told QR that his book, compared to Tuesdays with Morrie, did not impact me that much. But I’m not sure if I told him it is because his lecture had already left a deep impression on me. His last lecture, his speech to the graduates, somehow his speech mannerism affects me more than his written work. My friend told me he already achieved what he wanted so at least he could with lesser regrets, and that the world claims that he will be missed and that he had a great life, but a childish part of me still want to question why must he be taken so early? Why a good father must be taken? Do good guys have shorter lives comparatively?
Anyway I suppressed all thoughts to cram any last minute studying for the test later in the noon. Thankfully I managed to scrape through as I did not expect the Short Questions sections to weigh equally with the MCQs. Had planned to go gym after that but a change of plan brought me home instead. And I decided to go jogging, something I haven’t done for a long time. I ran to the beach as usual and stayed at a spot, squatting besides a little plant with a grasshopper on it, staring at it while the radio was playing Roxette’s Listen to your heart. That’s when the thinking process got fired.
Feedback is good because the day someone doesn’t give you feedback, it means he/she has given up on you.
Professor Randy said something of that matter before. And I asked myself if I have given up since I procrastinated on the reply. And somehow the radio was saying “Listen to your heart before you tell him goodbye.” But was there ever a need to say goodbye? Does he ever care? Or will he even realised is goodbye. Maybe he had already said his own goodbye.
I questioned on what good it is to be understanding. In Pure 19, Cheng Xin Jie constantly tried to be understanding and considerate towards the rich man son. To the extent, it makes one wonder the fine line between love and stubborn (执著). 公主病 lady also made me wonder if less thinking is more beneficial for health. Her 单白胡 behaviour which stands for (单纯,白痴,胡闹) may seems irritating and childish at times, but because she does not think much, she tends to be more true to her own character and feelings. The way she chased the big brother initially can be quite scary though. But when she finally gave up, and tried to numb her feelings, one can’t help feeling sad with her.
Before the sun set, I decided to head home. As usual I was quite unfit so my legs got tired by the next day. And I had to drag myself to the gym to try to train a bit more before I head for my trekking trip with my friend. Frankly speaking, I’m quite excited about this trip because I never been to Malaysia (discounting the Penang trip when I was six) and I never went trekking/camping before. However mum was quite unhappy because the day I set off was the first day of seventh month. Although I kidded with my friends that should anything happen to me, it is just fated and asked whether they have any last words for me, but I really did wonder if through death, would he at least care a teeny bit. Childish thoughts! Anyway my main concern is still on stressor, and I really hope stressor will not get offended or think I’m kidding. Because even though I’m sure I could live till age 50, but sometimes, just sometimes, one can never be too sure.
Time to sleep... with the song...
Lyrics of Roxette’s Listen to your heart
I know there's something in the wake of your smile.
I get a notion from the look in your eyes, yeah.
You've built a love but that love falls apart.
Your little piece of heaven turns too dark.
Listen to your heart when he's calling for you.
Listen to your heart there's nothing else you can do.
I don't know where you're going and I don't know why,
Listen to your heart before you tell him goodbye.
Sometimes you wonder if this fight is worthwhile.
The precious moments are all lost in the tide, yeah.
They're swept away and nothing is what is seems,
the feeling of belonging to your dreams.
Listen to your heart when he's calling for you.
Listen to your heart there's nothing else you can do.
I don't know where you're going and I don't know why,
Listen to your heart before you tell him goodbye.
And there are voices that want to be heard. So much to mention but you can't find the words.
The scent of magic, the beauty that's been when love was wilder than the wind.
Listen to your heart when he's calling for you.
Listen to your heart there's nothing else you can do.
I don't know where you're going and I don't know why, but listen to your heart before... you tell him goodbye.
Listen to your heart, hm hm hm hm...
I don't know where you're going and I don't know why, but listen to your heart before... you tell him goodbye.
Source: Youtube
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