In a corner of Shifang, China, a guy had given up hope of being rescued and tried bending his neck against the wall to kill himself. His wife sensed he was giving up and told him “If God wants to kill us, he would have killed us right away, but since we’re still alive, we must be fated to live.”
Hours later, they were rescued. And even though she lost an arm and they were homeless, all that does not bother them now. Because during the ordeal, in the guy’s words “the only thing we had was each other. We encouraged each other to live on, and we said once we got out, we’d live a good life and care for each other. Now we have a new start.”
Source: My Paper (Tuesday May 20 2008)
The irony is before the calamity, the couple’s relationship was going a rough patch and they were no longer on talking terms actually. Maybe it was God’s way of giving them a second chance to their marriage.
Lately I realized I have a lot to say but the moment I start typing, I delete most of what I want to say. Because I really don’t know if I should say it out, and will it becomes a burden. Stressor says I read too much of certain genre of books and has become 走火入魔. Actually I beg to differ. I have always been the type who will question when in doubt. The only stuff I bottle up though is my deepest thoughts and fears especially when I promised to keep them secret. That is why I tend to write long letters/emails questioning people only to get short succinct or zero replies back. That is why I am conditioning myself now, to no longer expect anything back in return because it hurts to be disappointed.
GA, I may have visited the temple two days in a row but I’m still helpless. Coach Morrie from “Tuesdays with Morrie” did mention a paragraph on Marriage:
There are a few rules I know to be true about love and marriage:
If you don’t respect the other person, you’re gonna have a lot of trouble.
If you don’t know how to compromise, you’re gonna have a lot of trouble.
If you can’t talk openly about what goes on between you, you’re gonna have a lot of trouble.
And if you don’t have a common set of values in life, you’re gonna have a lot of trouble. Your values must be alike.
And the biggest one of those values… Your belief in the importance of your marriage.
Coach Morrie personally believed that marriage is very important, and one is missing a lot if one doesn’t try it. When I posed the question to my mum, she expressed a similar stand, a fact I find it ironic. Coincidentally, ASOL had also talked about Committing to Commitment. Are Singaporeans really commitment-phobic?
Somehow I realised that there is a pattern in human though. I saw that every articles a guy read, are about female partners being unfaithful, or the female abandon the significant other. And every encounters recounted by a female, are always about a male playing infidelity and having an affair. Both genders only concentrate on the betrayal of the other gender. And I stand in the mid-point, seeing the unfaithfulness of both genders. Thus if they are disillusioned by these articles and real-life encounters, I should be doubly disillusioned. But I also happen to stand in a crossroad where I read about people rekindling true love and giving love a second chance. What should my stand be then?
p/s: To a friend, you asked me on Friday the classic question. Maybe Morrie’s rule can answer it more properly:
“If you can’t talk openly about what goes on between you, you’re gonna have a lot of trouble.”
It should be my fault though as I might not have tried hard enough to open him up. Just as I realised it is still my fault now that I cannot dissolve him. And my fault for liking the same genre guy… because at the end of the day, I never knew what they are thinking…
pp/s: Was reading MyPaper (Wed 21 May 2008), Jill Alphonso's "Action speaks louder than love". It's quite a touching article of a blur lady who did not really register the near-disaster she had almost encountered and a .. hmm.. foolish in a cute way type of boyfriend who accidentally shut himself out of the flat while making toast. Anyway I have only one advice for that guy, Quit Smoking haha.
杨丞琳 - 只想爱你
我终于还是说了一句我爱你
还记得那个微凉夜里天空正飘着小雨
心跳的声音像舞动奇迹
你看着我说千万不要爱上你
因为你只会让我伤心别傻了快点喊停
你那么冷静忽远又忽近
我知道我对你来说也许太年轻
我想我猜我问我终于了解
原来为爱流的眼泪也是种甜蜜滋味
只想爱你当我和你走在一起就已经决定
不看不听不问也不会放弃
是你让我了解自己可以为爱那么坚定
只想爱你好想每天睁开眼睛就能看到你
我知道我偶尔有一点任性
不管你做任何决定究竟爱我还是逃避
sorry我还是不会放弃爱你
sorry我还是不会放弃
我还是不会放弃爱你
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