Angel
by Sarah McLachlan
Spend all your time waiting
For that second chance
For a break that would make it okay
There’s always one reason
To feel not good enough
And it’s hard at the end of the day
I need some distraction
Oh beautiful release
Memory seeps from my veins
Let me be empty
And weightless and maybe
I’ll find some peace tonight
In the arms of an angel
Fly away from here
From this dark cold hotel room
And the endlessness that you fear
You are pulled from the wreckage
Of your silent reverie
You’re in the arms of the angel
May you find some comfort there
So tired of the straight line
And everywhere you turn
There’s vultures and thieves at your back
And the storm keeps on twisting
You keep on building the lie
That you make up for all that you lack
It don’t make no difference
Escaping one last time
It’s easier to believe in this sweet madness oh
This glorious sadness that brings me to my knees
In the arms of an angel
Fly away from here
From this dark cold hotel room
And the endlessness that you fear
You are pulled from the wreckage
Of your silent reverie
You’re in the arms of the angel
May you find some comfort there
You’re in the arms of the angel
May you find some comfort here
Author’s comments:
That day DK say he like a song from Sarah McLachlan, I immediately asked is it this song.
Spend all your time waiting
For that second chance
Hmm… haven’t heard the song for ages…
I woke up with a headache today. Funny that I finally decided to sleep and yet I end up the next day worst than if I don’t sleep. But maybe it is because of what happen yesterday… Something that reminded me of the words from Leap Year again…
Why do I love Leap Year so much? Is because of the wind? The blue image? The wait? Still can’t find time to review it, but would you believe that till now, even till now, the images are still vivid in my memory. It is so deeply etched because like the female prodigy, I can be stubborn at times. Actually I’m quite impressed with her patience, her silently waiting, her strong resolve .. but even she prove fallible when she succumb to temptation/desperation 16 years later..
Yes I fear I might have meant nothing to him which is why I just let the moment pass again though my friend said he would have gone for it. I have grown so reliant to listen to GA that I believe this is meant to be. The funny thing is before that I was actually thinking of him which explains the choice of place. Anyway I kinda not think for the past few weeks/months purely due to exhaustion… which explains my lack of attitude too. I just want.. more sleep…
Anyway it just hit upon me that week; I’m not only losing a lunch buddy. It is also my last school week thus I have been telling all to just tolerate me another 2 more lessons and I will not be in their life anymore (btw I really don’t want to fail any modules). In some sense, I said it very light-heartedly bah. But I don’t know why my heart seems heavy since last night.
It was at this point my friend made me think about what I want to do next. Then I asked him what if I really want to stay and change the culture here. He said it is not my business. Then I asked what about the government? The ministers are worried over who will be taking over them, is it not our business too? Am I not a citizen too? He said it is not my business only. Then what is my path? GA has no answer for me. In fact my heart has no answer either. What is the reason I want to leave? To run away, escaping one last time? Or to restart my life? To keep a distance with him because… if I don’t, I am scared that I will only make his angel angry.
Funnily, that week is also the week where I’m left home alone. I don’t know if I will be like how I was 2 years ago though.. because 2 years ago, at least my exams were over. But now I’m still preparing for it… so maybe I will be too tired to miss my parents?? Haha but I think not la.. they are the only people I have now… And I was joking with my mum last week that I really should follow her for tomb sweeping last weekend so that when I die, at least my ancestors will recognise me and bring me back home. Sigh the sad part is I did not manage to follow her to visit her parents’ on Sunday. Although I went there the year before, but I thought this year, I shall try to visit both sides (equal treatment) especially since they loved my brother and me when they were around. Sadly I couldn’t finish my stuff on Sunday plus I had an online meeting in the evening so I gave up following my mum. It is also the first weekend I gave up on my gym sessions totally. I’m feeling so unfit now haha.
I’m tired… seeking my angel now.. to find some comfort from him…
p/s: GA, do you think I can grad successfully? Do you think I should go to my convocation?
Pp/s: Haha I woke up and decided to continue this post... Taking this chance to say my thanks to
1) My ancestors for blessing my family this past one year. First time I drove to visit you, thanks for the smooth ride.
2) My friend for the ride to school yesterday. And it is gratifying to see how much in love you are hahah.. because I had so much fun disturbing you.
3) My dad for the ride back. Was feeling very lethargic and queasy.. luckily you were at home phew..
4) My colleagues for the fried rice and chicken for lunch today.. oh and pre-thanks for tomorrow’s lunch too
5) GA for blessing me. The distribution list is out already and this time, I did not get as much systems as compared to previously. But given my situation, I don’t think they dare to overload me with those systems too. Fear can make one thread more carefully sometimes.
6) Oh some writers for some interesting articles e.g. Ms Bevlyn Khoo’s Don’t adopt a ‘pencil attitude’ in myPaper (3rd Apr 2008). Indeed the starting journey to the unknown is always slow, and the return journey so much smoother. And Ms Wendy K Wand’s My Secret? Mummy’s ‘thankful diary’. See even mothers keep a diary to say thanks to.
7) And reporters for the news. Although the news were pretty depressing but they reminded me where my focus should be. It’s sad to read about the lady who was intelligent to get into Oxford at a very young age ending up in such predicament. It’s shocking to know that young children actually thought of teaching their teacher a lesson for making him stand on the chair. And I’m still depressed about the next generation here, if their attitude for attending interviews is an indication of the mentality here. Sigh I really don’t know how…
0 comments:
Post a Comment