Queer Monday Musing

It had been a queer Monday for me.

I had been expecting a particular news, a particular fear this year. And it had finally materialized. While I willn't say anything about it, I find life queer at times. (And that I'm not sure if I strive to be balance or I am balanced.) Because I was both happy and sad at the same time. I do think it is a good piece of news, just not that good on my part. But timing wise seems appropriate thankfully.

That news and the fact that 2 of my friends are currently in dating stage and the news of some weddings got me thinking - Did I move forward or did I retreat or did I stay stagnant or...??? I have been looking for a particular poster that I saw years ago with Pte. At that time, I was fascinated by the picture and the quote, "The only constant is change". Queerly I had that same thinking in Nov 2006 as quoted in my previous post. Gosh is this a déjà vu? A cycle? And Pte had mentioned that I might have been in a cycle.. which actually come to think of it, is true. Because I had went through that news before, sad that I have to go through it again. But I must emphasis, I still want that to happen, and that it MUST happen.

Anyway I just couldn’t find the poster online. But this poster caught my attention.

Change is the essence of life. Be willing to surrender what you are for what you could become.

As mentioned it is a queer day today because after that, as the day progress, something queer happened too. On one side, my colleague was collecting money for something worth celebrating. On the other side, another colleague was collecting money for a death event. 生死一线之差(roughly translated as life and death is just a string’s distance away which means there is not much difference between life and death.. I think.. ). It reminds me of those TV shows you watch on some hospital scenes where you see a baby crying past through the protagonist and then seconds later a sobbing family clinging to the bed past through the protagonist. Life.. and.. death… (Darnz, am I too balanced that I keep seeing a balance in life?)

Oh by the way after many attempts, I finally found the book I wanted. End up I had to finish a little book because I maxed my borrowing quota. Maybe I should sign up for the premium services but I rarely use it. Perhaps after I graduate..

Maybe because I read something in the library, I came home and ended up slacking again. Watched Cashback, which is about a male protagonist who can freeze time (note he mentioned one can speed time, slow time, freeze time but can never undo time and reverse what had been done) and appreciate still beauty. In it, I found 2 quotes interesting:

Crush. It's funny how the same word for the feeling of disappointment can be used for the feeling of attraction. The Oxford English Dictionary states one of the meanings for the word crushed as "a strong and unreasoning, but transitory attachment."

-- > Err 1 word, 2 extreme meanings? Oh no, I really have a penchant for such stuff.

Once upon a time, I wanted to know what love was. Love is there if you want it to be. You just have to see that it's wrapped in beauty and hidden away in between the seconds of your life. If you don't stop for a minute, you might miss it.

-- > Out of the whole movie, I think I only like this scene. The snow, the 2 leads, it was romantic.

And yupz the whole show was just.. hmm one can consider it an artsy film I guess. It’s a rather slow paced movie, which I like as it allows me to multi-task though I did not really do anything. I had wanted to finish up my readings and query my lecturer. But I ended up falling asleep. When I next woke up, I saw my group mate asking for information on another module.. so I ended up doing that instead. And being a girl with no sense of priority, my next activity was not sleep, not readings, but blogging. Haha.

Still not sure if I want to sleep or not as I will be woken up 2 hours later. Oh ya the only “cool” point of Cashback is that the male protagonist suffer from insomnia. I’m not saying suffering from insomnia is cool, I’m only saying that he realised he suddenly got an extra 8 hours to spend, as if his life has been extended by one-third. Yes, I wish to have an extra 8 hours to spend too, then I can read all the stuff I want to read (which is what the male protagonist did) and watch all the stuff I want to watch. But I have the tendency to zone out.. err so I wonder how much will I still achieve…

Hmm queer Monday … Oh but it had been a good Monday too because I cleared a debt.. Yeah, as mentioned, I really do appreciate the term break that falls nicely on ... this week. Thanks!