生日能不能快乐?

I was using my lunch hour to search a book when I saw this book…

Rene wrote it after the movie. It is like an afterthought. And the focus is of course on her short story “Happy Birthday”.

生日能不能快乐？

She seemed to be someone who is quite pessimistic and yet somewhat hopeful. But I think I can understand her feelings, partially. Why partially is because I haven’t reach her stage yet. There was a time where birthday means a lot to me. Where I will online just to see who will ICQ me and wish me happy birthday. I will get upset if I did not hear from my close friend. I was childish then.

Nowadays, I don’t even care about my birthday. For the past 3 years, where my colleague will take leave on their birthday, I chose to continue working. If someone remembers my birthday, I will always be pleasantly surprised. This is because I no longer demand anybody to remember my birthday. It is but a normal day to them, and to me.

And because of the change in thinking, I can safely say, nowadays, my birthday is filled with little whiffs of happiness that float past me. Of course some people worry about celebrating their birthday alone, but to me, even if I do celebrate my birthday alone, I believed that I am happy still. It is after all a normal day to me.

Towards the end of the book, Rene wrote about what people had to say after watching the movie and her reply.
很多人在看完故事之后，
都会问我“为什么不让小米知道真相？”
有人说，故事这样很残缺。
有人说，小南这样很自私。
有人说，小南这样很伟大。
还有人问？小米还在等他吗？

我说，
故事就是故事，
故事抄袭生命，也被生命抄袭。
生命没有答案，
故事也将永远留下一个疑问，
永远待续……

I remember I had discussed this before too.

In the girl’s viewpoint, the guy is too selfish. The girl will ask why he selfishly refused to let her accompany him at his remaining days. The girl will blame herself forever… if she knew the truth. And the girl will hate the guy for lying to her.

In the guy’s viewpoint, the guy just wants to protect the girl. He wants to lessen her hurt to the least. He just wanted to do what he felt was right for her.

In my viewpoint, if you lied to me, then please don’t let me ever find the truth. If I ever knew the truth, I will wish that in another time frame, I am able to accompany you in your remaining days. Because, in love, it is not the ending that matters, it is the process where the couple cherish every single day they are with each other, such that if there is ever a need for a separation, at least they have no regrets.

On a side note with regards to the time frame, I just wanted to recount a short little incident. There was this Saturday where I had gone to school after my gym. It was the first time I took the bus from my gym but I was sure that it will lead me to school. On the journey, I was quite aware of my surroundings until I reach Vivo. After that, I kind of got lost into time space (maybe because I was doing Sudoku??) and when I got conscious of my environment, I found myself almost in Jurong already. It was then that I realised, I might have missed my bus stop. When I took the opposite bus back to school, I realise I had really gone very far. Yesterday I repeated the same procedure except this time I kept conscious of my surroundings. And right after Vivo, I realised I had indeed no recollections of the surroundings on that Saturday which is weird because the bus travelled almost a similar path from the bus I usually took to school too. My classmate jokingly said I might have been taken by aliens temporarily haha. I can only say, on that day, I had lost conscious of the world temporarily. Anyway I believed it is but a common occurrence la. But I still believe in time frames...