Macabre Trade

Today is the Hungry Ghost Festival. And as I flipped through my old drafts, I remembered this old news I read in Feb 2012.

A WOMAN in northern China was sold into marriage twice within days - despite dying weeks earlier. The young woman, from Hebei Province, a large region near Beijing, died over the Lunar New Year holiday.

Her family opted to sell her body for a "ghost marriage" - a macabre union designed to prevent deceased bachelors from wandering the afterlife alone. They received 35,000 yuan ($5560), a large sum in China's still-poor rural areas.

But the deal turned sour just days later for the dead woman's new family, when robbers raided the grave and removed the bride's body to marry her off to a dead bachelor in another town for 30,000 yuan, it was claimed.

Source:theaustralia.com Reading this news remind me of the temple I once visited in Singapore.

Seng Wong Beo Temple in Tanjong Pagar, Singapore

This temple is famous for conducting "ghost marriages". Also known as Du Cheng Huang Gu Miao, meaning "Temple of the City Protector", Seng Wong Beo is a Taoist temple similor to Seng Ong Beow in Penang.

Hundreds of this ritual have so far been conducted at the temple. According to Taoist belief, the rules in Hell permit only the married to eat at the table. Children and the unmarried could only eat under the table. For that reason, the spirit of miscarried fetuses and the unmarried would not be able to receive offerings made on family altars.

Thus some families conduct a ghost marriage to upgrade their status and meal tickets in Hell. However this usually happens when the dead appear to their living relatives, seeking their help to find them a match. Though rituals conducted at ancestral altars, the dead were introduced to each other. The success of the match is determined by the casting of lots and interpretation of dreams.

During the ghost marriages, the altar is decked with paper furniture such as bed, car and other material possessions for the dead. Paper effigies of the bridal couple are positioned in worshipful posture in front of the temple deity before they are torched for the couple.
Source: singapore-traveltips

At that time, I find the tradition fascinating. At least the marriage is respectful. Unlike the case in China where it insinuates a certain demeaning feeling to the corpse bride.

In fact an old news had mentioned a case where a 52-year-old farmer Sung Tiantang had admitted to killing six women in northern Hebei province and selling their bodies to be used as ghost brides, for a total profit of less than 20,000 yuan ($2,600). And that was because there is a lack of females (corpses) due to the one child policy in China. Fresh dead bodies, known as wet goods, also could fetch higher prices than bodies buried in the grave for some time, which is known in the industry as dry goods.

Sigh this is not the Tim Burton's Corpse Bride that we are definitely dreaming about.

Pride and Prejudice (Erotic Vesion)

When I first heard about 50 shades of Grey from the radio (which I seldom hear in Oz), I was curious what is the story that could make the author so famous.

Then my colleague told me it is just a beginner cookbook, advanced and intermediate. And I gave him a blank look. How can a culinary book capture the attention of so many readers. He was of course pulling a fast one on me.

As what another friend described, this is just... female porn. And that should end the story, especially since it gives me nothing to remember about after finishing the first book. Nothing other than making me interested to read Tess of the d'Urbervilles (which after I finish it in wiki, I conclude is sufficient... like how I finish read War and Peace on wiki too.)

I probably would have finished Grey on wiki if my friend did not give me a book version to read. I'm still very much a book person as I cannot really tolerate reading novels on the screen.. that's why I gave up War and peace which is such a long novel. I have to admit I am not a literary person. I can't write flowery prose. I prefer to read and co-relate instead.

And thus, while I was flipping through old magazines to clear, I suddenly thought of Pride and Prejudice, and suddenly, it clicked. I finally understood why this first book felt so familiar. Because Ana and Mr Grey is exactly like Elizabeth and Mr Darcy. A conceited man falling in love with a witty lady.

And then I started thinking, does all love story of today starts just like Pride and Prejudice. Did feminism rise at that time. Did women learn that they should be heard and yet not be overboard. Is that why Ana is so not submissive? Why conceited Mr Grey likes to be challenge?

I know there is a second and third book. And I know it that is where the similarity ends between Grey and Darcy. But for now, I only have one burning question. How independent should a women be? And how vocal should she be? I'm confused by what the society expects. I'm confuscated with the double standards applied to both female and males.

And as I can't write well, I decided to find a picture to conclude my entry.

Filial Piety Month

It was the 7th Lunar Month and the Taoist believe it is the month of Hungry Ghost Festival where the spirits leave the lower realm for a visit as I was brought up to know since young. Thus it was the first time that I realise that Buddhism believe the 7th month to be a Filial Piety Month too.

This was based on the Ullambana origin where the Buddha had taught his disciple Maudgalyāyana how to obtain liberation for his mother, who had been reborn into a lower realm.

Source: Wikipedia

It is interesting to know the similarity in these 2 religions which involves giving offerings to the ancestors and remembering them. In addition, Ghost festival is the time where we pay respects to all the deceased, including same and younger generations (unlike Qing Ming which is generally paying homage to ancestors).

From my friend, I also learn that Buddhist chant every morning and evening. But this day, the service that we attend is a special service which she has never done. Thus we were just following what the others do. I spent 2 hours doing the rituals and chanting The Precious Litany of 88 Grand-Name Buddhas. As my mandarin isn't very good, I require the English translation to read. However I was still chanting in mandarin (reading the han yu pin yin) and thus I did not have much time to read the English interpretation at times.

After the ritual, when I was discussing with my friend, then I realised that she had said hers in English. Hmm, next time I shall read mine in English too. As of now, I only know the gist of the chants where I was paying homage to the 88 Buddhas as well as the typical stuff on the proper conduct we must have.

We also had our vegetarian lunch in the hall before we head back home. In my heart, I actually hope that through this ritual, I would help to gain some blessings for my just deceased grandpa (on the 95th day of his departure) as well as my other ancestors and lastly for the survivors too.

Source: Fo Guan Shan Melbourne

Forgotten sales technique

2 years has passed, since I taken these photos. At that time I was jobless, and directionless. I remember out of curiosity, I went to dabble roadshow sales and even telephone sales. In between, I went to help out World Vision with this event.

While managing the stall, I noticed the similarity of this event with the roadshow sales. Both requires me to approach the passer-by and create small talk with them. To elicit their interest and create an awareness to the event that I am supporting.

I still remember my sales mentor taught me that every time a passer-by passed you, if you stretch out your hand at an angle that he has to shake, then you have successfully stopped someone. The rest will then depend on your conversation technique.

How fluent is your conversation, depends on how frequent have you practiced your speech. We probably never knew (or at least I didn't know till I join them) that these roadshow salesman actually practiced their speech with each other, to perfect their skills. With more practice, you actually remember the product information better. Then you will feel less anxious when conversing with your potential audience. Also, with all these practices with your colleagues, you will have an exchange of various potential scenarios that you may encounter. This will bolster your confidence when you meet similar situations which you are prepared to react.

After that, I helped out with a few more volunteer events of various causes. I remember for eureka climb, I had to repeat the safety instructions to the participants which I had find it tough initially. But as I repeated it the tenth times, I realised it is no longer as tough as the first time.

And for the times I have to give out pamphlets to passer-by, I really noticed how it is easier to stop children and teenagers to accept your pamphlets and cutesy stuff as compared to the adults. Sometimes I do wonder why did the adults grew to say no more readily than to say yes. Are there too many pamphlets givers, roadshow agents and salesman badgering us? That the first thing we learn is to say no?

Looking back, I actually appreciate my short stint in sales as it allowed me to see behind the scenes. As I flip through the little booklet which I had been forced to take notes, I realised that even a good salesman need to work very hard to perfect his sales techniques. It's actually not just being thick-skinned though such a criteria probably would have helped you stop your potential audience.

As for back to Watato, after this event, I remember when I got back this job, the first thing I did, was to sponsor another child. Because I realised, sponsoring a child is still the easiest way to help these children. But if I can afford the time again, I hope to be able to spend some effort to participate in such events again. Even though I no longer remember what exactly happened 2 years ago, on that day, other than the beautiful outdoor performance which the children delivered.

These children are among 2 million boys and girls in Uganda who have had the tragic experience of losing one or both of their parents to HIV/AIDS, poverty or war.

Through their colorful and lively demonstration from their 'Concerts of Hope' performances, the Watoto Children's Choir hopes to move the hearts of Singaporeans as they share their stories of joy and hope, all in the hope to raise awareness of the plight of the vulnerable children affected by the devastating HIV/AIDS pandemic.

My last moments with grandpa

Day 620 has passed.

The day I learn one can actually changed her tickets 14 hours before her flight,
booked another ticket back 3 days later,
packed 7 hours before the flight
and arrived in the airport with just A backpack.

The day I learn that even with a backpack I must go to the check in counter and verify myself.

The day I learn what is the real meaning of travel light.

The day I learn that when someone passed away,
it is really without warning
and even if you wish he would leave later
perhaps a month later
he is still gone
and you have to learn what is applying urgent leave
and booking last minute flights.

Most importantly,
it is the day I learn that hunches are right.

Why I did not persist to make plans to go UK.
Why I was not able to accommodate my friends to stay in my apartment in Melbourne.
And why I had this sudden urge that I should buy that Miranda Orange Soft Drink for him
when he said he was craving for it.

It was my last glimpse of him.
It was the last thing I could do for him too.
I still remembered the last time I did something for him.. it was the 1777 call...
After that, the next time I did blog him, it was the drawing for Father's Day 2010
He was miles away then.
And I sometimes wondered if we did right to put him on so much medicine and invasive care.
Especially after reading "How Doctors Choose To Die" by Ken Murray

Torch was no doctor, but he knew he wanted a life of quality, not just quantity. Don't most of us? If there is a state-of-the-art of end-of-life care, it is this: death with dignity.

Had we put him in prolong pain?
Did he finally get his delayed relief?
Is he resting in peace now?

On Day 612, I had went to burn incense sticks as per my normal routine.
And I had prayed that he will be in peace.

On Day 629, 11 days after he departed, I had once again burnt another incense stick on Buddha day.
And this time, I wish he is happy with his new home.

R.I.P.

Make sense of your yesterdays

That’s what heaven is. It is God’s way of finally answering all the questions you had been asking in your life. But I have lots, lots of questions. Would 5 people I meet be enough to make sense of my yesterdays? Or maybe, right here, right now, I am meeting all these people to get my answers? After all, didn’t Mitch Albom says that there are no random acts. And that we are all connected.

I guess that is terribly bad news for me. Because for the past few weeks, I felt that my privacy has been invaded. And I have been wishing to be left alone. But Blue Man tells me, that no life is a waste. The only time we waste is the time we spend thinking we are alone. So I have been wasting my past few weeks wishing to be alone. Because I am unable to handle the close proximity of these strangers, strangers that are just family you have yet to come to know.

Sigh. In some sense it is the truth. These are the only family members I have here. And like all family, we each have our own characters and quirks. And thus we will have our own squabbles and discomforts. But I build a wall so high around myself, and keep myself so secluded that sometimes I guess I asked for it when I get excluded. Because people like fairness, and thus if you don’t include them, they find it hard to include you too. And I can sense it better now because of the proximity which explains my resentment towards the move. This also explains why on a sunny weekend, I am cooping myself at home, watching the film version of a book by the author which I still very much admired. And retrieving the rest that I was not entitled to last weekend.

Sacrifice is a part of life. It's supposed to be. It's not something to regret. It's something to aspire to. Sometimes when you sacrifice something precious, you're not really losing it. You're just passing it on to somebody else.

I sacrificed my last weekend because I have no excuse not to go. Even though it may sound like a nice gesture by the company, I admit I did not appreciate it because of all the hassle it had involved, all the flying hours it had accumulated and only for a short break. It had not been my style and if I really chose to fly that far, I would have spent more time. But that sounded like an ungrateful kid. We all make sacrifices but I was angry over my sacrifice.

Holding anger is a poison. It eats you from inside. We think that hating is a weapon that attacks the person who harmed us. But hatred is a curved blade. And the harm we do to others, we do to ourselves. No one is born with anger. It builds up over time, with the things we don't say and the things we bury. When we die, the soul is freed of it. Free to see the truth.

Hmm, though I don’t envision myself to die just to see the truth, that I had been childish to be angry with myself. That I have been stubborn to ask too many questions; not knowing if I will ever get the answers or not. But I did wonder, if I ever know I am going to die, will I do something different? And when I die, what happens to the lost love?

Lost love is still love, Eddie. It takes a different form, that's all. You can't see their smile or bring them food or tousle their hair or move them around a dance floor. But when those senses weaken, another heightens. Memory, memory becomes your partner. You nurture it. You hold it. You dance with it. Life has to end," she said. "Love doesn't."

So that was what memories are for, to accompany you when your loved ones depart. It need not be permanent departure. Although sometimes I do worry about that; especially pertaining to my parents. It is often said that parents rarely let go of their children, so children let go of them. They move on. They move away. And it is not until much later, as the next birthday comes, as the body gets weaker, that the children will understand, their stories and accomplishments, sit atop the stories of their parents.

But what if I had accomplished nothing? Zilch. What if the feeling that I was never supposed to be there, was right all these while. The feeling that I never belong here, that I am a nobody. Would I ever meet a Tala (which means ‘star’ in Tagalog and reminds me so much of my sponsored child) to explain to me my existence and worth? Maybe I should pay someone a visit. And understand that everyone has a purpose to life that not only affects their own lives but unknowingly touches the lives of others.

And that when the life ends, it is an opportunity to examine our lives, who we have touched, the choices we have made and the consequences of our choices. It was never about judgement day.

Photo thoughts: When I was thinking of a photo to accompany the post, Luna Park came into my mind. Later while researching I found out that the fictional Ruby Pier draw many parallels to the real life amusement park "Luna Park" located in Coney Island. These parallels include...
1) Both parks are named after people close to the original owner
- Luna Park for owner's sister Luna
- Ruby Pier for owner's wife Ruby (one of the people Eddie meets in heaven)
2) Both parks had fires that lead to the loss of the original ownership
- Ruby Park's fire leads to the selling of the park
- Because of the expensive costs, Luna Park is let go by the original owner(s) (not sold away)
3) Both parks had/have very grand entrances

Credits: The Five People You Meet In Heaven by Mitch Albom (Book and Film version)

For Good

I thought I will guai guai proceed into 2012 without any noise.. Till I heard this last night

(Glinda):
I've heard it said
That people come into our lives for a reason
Bringing something we must learn
And we are led
To those who help us most to grow
If we let them
And we help them in return
Well, I don't know if I believe that's true
But I know I'm who I am today
Because I knew you...

I always loved musicals. But I haven't been to one since Sound of music. Thankfully this was in MBS. Sometimes I'm glad SG likes to revamp places. Even the ten mile junction has renamed. Sometimes not recognising SG means I get to be re-introduced to SG which is what my friends have been doing to me this week (the latest attraction I heard is Gardens of the Bay.. And I still have not seen the laser show @ MBS though)

(Elphaba):
It well may be
That we will never meet again
In this lifetime
So let me say before we part
So much of me
Is made from what I learned from you
You'll be with me
Like a handprint on my heart
And now whatever way our stories end
I know you have re-written mine
By being my friend...

I haven't been in SG for the new year for the last 2 years already. Thus spring cleaning has been done in a rush. And memories of the yesteryear gets tucked in a corner once again. And I always wanted to ask, what should I do to them?

(Elphaba):
And just to clear the air
I ask forgiveness
For the things I've done you blame me for
(Glinda):
But then, I guess we know
There's blame to share
(Both):
And none of it seems to matter anymore

Perhaps this time, Wicked would knock some sense into me. For Good.

Don't wish, don't start
Wishing only wounds the heart

>> Note: In Nov 2013, you guys who had been my memory for so long... are now somewhere out there. Hopefully no longer tucked in a corner...

周杰倫 - 你好嗎

你好嗎

主唱：周杰倫
作曲：周杰倫
填詞：羅宇軒．李汪哲
編曲：
監製：

歌詞

牆上靜止的鐘是為誰停留
是不是和我一樣賴著不走
你說故事已經結束　很久
我忘了　向前走

我努力假裝現在過得很好
現在的你看來已不需要我
也許在不同的時空
還牽著　你的手

想知道你真的過得好嗎
沒有我也許是種解脫
將思念穿梭在宇宙數千光年
悄悄到　你身邊
現在我試著習慣一個人過
也許你已經開始新的生活
陪著我的叫做寂寞
陪你的　是誰呢?

想知道你真的過得好嗎
沒有我也許是種解脫
將思念穿梭在宇宙數千光年
悄悄到　你身邊
現在我試著習慣一個人過
也許你已經開始新的生活
陪著我的叫做寂寞
陪你的　是誰呢?

也許在不同的時空
還牽著　你的手

Bflygal's comment:

"也許在不同的時空
還牽著　你的手"

It was this line, that made me click 'Share on blogger'. I haven't blog a long long time. Not because I run out of topics. But because I spend too much time cooking and playing. Haha.

But I wonder, in another time zone, am I busy blogging? Do I know how to cook? Am I in Singapore or Melbourne?

And if my friends are reading this latest post and has always been asking me how long am I going to be in Melbourne... I finally got the answer yesterday after so many days of uncertainty...

In this time zone, I will be in Melbourne for another year (as claimed by my project manager). However do not quote me on this if you suddenly don't see me in Melbourne because anything can happen as I always believed "p

I hope I will do my xmas post but if I failed to... then in this time zone I would like to wish everybody a Happy Christmas and Merry New Year. May 2012 be a good year for all!

Phuket (July 2011)

A long forgotten trip... I remember that I made a last minute decision to participate in this company paid trip because I was flying back for my brother's graduation ceremony.

And that was the first time I spent all my miles to get myself upgraded just so that I can be in the plane. I have to admit though if one keeps getting business class seats, one may never be reverted back to normality. Thus I have to constantly remind myself that one must never get used to all these special treatment. One must stay grounded. Though it is becoming hard to do so after 2 years of such lifestyle.

Take for e.g. the room, a toilet so huge and which can be very romantic for couples. Sadly I travelled alone :( hee hee

And the view is so fantastic from the room that it makes me happy just to stay in the room.

Actually I did stay in the compound most of the time. Because I had to fly back Melbourne a day later so I did not get to go island hopping

nor indulge in any water sports... :(

 But I happily did try to catch some butterflies though all failed... except this

And I managed to take the hotel shuttle to the city for a sunset walk

Other than that, I guess my only memory is the fantastic swimming pool
which has a poolside bar
where swimmers can sit and sip their drinks...

 And before I know it.. I'm back into the clouds....

Faulpez makes Noodle casserole

Casserole - A kind of stew cooked slowly in an oven

I never knew what a casserole is till I chanced upon some recipe because I was bored cooking maggi mee. And as I don't fancy peas nor onions but instead prefer mushroom plus some leftover red cabbage thus this is the outcome of my dish. The sauce tasted like cream of mushroom. Slurp. Oh and for this version, I used canned chicken breast as I finished up the tuna version without taking a photo "p.

Recipe from : http://www.squidoo.com/tuna-noodle-casserole

Ingredients
1 (8 ounce) package wide egg noodles
2 tablespoons butter
2 tablespoons all-purpose flour
1 teaspoon salt (optional)
1 +1/2 cup milk
1 cup sharp Cheddar cheese blocks
2 (6 ounce) cans tuna, drained
1 (15 ounce) can peas, drained
1 (6 oz) Can dried onions

Directions
1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C).
2. Coat a 2 quart casserole dish with cooking spray.
3. In a large pot of salted water, boil noodles until al dente. Drain well.
4. In a medium saucepan, combine flour, butter, and salt. Stir until butter is melted and ingredients are combined evenly. Add milk, and whisk until the sauce thickens (usually it is at the proper consistency by the time it begins to boil). Add cheese to mixture, and whisk until cheese is melted and mixture is well blended. Stir in tuna, peas, and noodles.
5. Spread evenly in prepared dish.
6. Bake in preheated oven for 30 minutes.