Sacred Feminine

Because the movie is going to be screen soon, I decided to start reading Dan Brown's Da Vinci Code (skipping the Angel & Demons). And what was written, was indeed startling. No wonder it created such an uproar when it first got published. I am so utterly amazed by the facts that I do wonder, is this for real?

Did the author spend many years to find all these stuff, to link them up, to conjure a story. Or is this the truth?

The reason why I felt amazed is the part where it seems to be worshipping the sacred feminine.

While at it, I found several Da Vinci Code to unscramble.
http://www.randomhouse.com/doubleday/davinci/main.html
http://www.randomhouse.com/doubleday/davinci/index-utc.php

Interesting quest. Though I did not solve them myself.

Anyway back to my topic, christianity is something I do not really dwell. But to talk about sacred feminie is interesting as I'm quit feminist at heart. It seems that this novel is written with a hope to bring back the balance. Hmm...

First Timer

I heard that there are quite a lot of blogs regarding Singapore 2006 election... and that government is monitoring what transpires in these blogs. Seriously, I never read any of them though. The only site I diligently went, is www.channelnewsasia.com/sge. That is my only source of information to decide if my vote is important, and who are contesting. Not that I don't know who have been in my GRC. The truth is, indeed, I don't really know much about them even though I have been staying here for 20++ years.

And I attributed that to my political apathy. The effect of walkover I guess. Then we get complacent and so long there is someone who is doing the job, we don't really care who he is and what he is doing. Something like the NKF saga.

This is why I’m blogging now, at the expense that I might be scrutinized up and down, in and out - to remember this first time experience. This transition where I turned from political apathy to political awakens (a little bit). Ask me to name who the oppositions are, chances are I still don’t know. Ask me how many opposition parties, I can answer that. Ask me which party contesting, I definitely know. My political knowledge has increased from 1/100 to 10/100. And in some sense I do have to give some credit to the opposition. Because I was given a choice to choose, thus I decided to open my eyes a little bit.

But my eyes are still half-closed. Because right till the point where we left to the polling station, I was more engrossed in my game. I blindly followed my parents to the polling station. And then it happened. A paper thrust into my hand. I remembered the guy asking is it my first time voting. Then he kindly explained what I should do. And it is over. To think for the past one week I had been very excited to know I can vote. Yet after I voted, I lost interest in this political issue already. Tonight will be showcasing the results; chances are I rather go back to my game playing. And the whole of the noon, I was busy trying to see if I can conjure a no-bake cheesecake. It is still being refrigerated, but I believed the results would be quite disastrous. After all I’m not a cooking type.

So the day I first voted ended with the day I first tried to make a no-bake cake. Interesting day…

Reading on 4th May 2006

What Covers You That which influences the general atmosphere or environment (current situation)		Seven of Cups Briefly: Someone could be confusing you or taking advantage of your good nature. In Detail... The picture on this card shows seven cups and each of these has some elusive or deceptive icon in it that is advising you to look beneath the surface of situations to see what is really there. Someone could be confusing you or taking advantage of your good nature. It is also wise to check that any food or water is not contaminated as there is the element of disease or poison likely to be found lurking in these products. Even skin lotions may be productive of rashes or allergies. However, for those who are psychic, this can be a very revealing and inspiring time when your hunches pay off in a wonderful way. Some benefits are there for those who listen to their higher self and follow the guidance to a T.
What Crosses You Obstacles, conflicts or opposition in the path		Death/Rebirth Briefly: The slate will be wiped clean for a fresh start. There will be none of the old left, so a whole new approach needs to be established before true renewal can take place. Sometimes when we draw this card, major events seems to unfold around us that challenge our thinking and our direction in life. In Detail... This shows a grim reaper and a white rose at the same time. The Sun is setting in the background of the card, indicating the end of daylight hours. This is the card of endings, renewal and transformation of the highest order. The slate will be wiped clean for a fresh start. There will be none of the old left, so a whole new approach needs to be established before true renewal can take place. Sometimes when we draw this card, major events seems to unfold around us that challenge our thinking and our direction in life. Sometimes an unpleasant event shows us the way to a new path. This may seem traumatic at the time, but it is also saying that the old ways are no longer valid, or of value in your new life. It is time to cast aside whatever is hindering your progress in life and make a whole new start. Turn the leaf, sow new seeds, wear new clothes, change your appearance, move house, leave that boring job and get out there and dance. Life can end at any moment for any of us, so it is how wisely we spend our time here that really matters. You can still be serious about some aspects of your life, but leave plenty of room open for fun and for spontaneity. When we are on our death-bed, we will wish we had kicked up our heels more often, been more carefree, eaten more ice-cream, danced longer, sang out loud and showed others how much we love them. Don't wait till then, do it now, while you are alive and still kicking.
What Crowns You That which has gone before you, those past events and influences that have led you to this path		Page of Cups Briefly: Time to discover some new career direction that will lead you towards prosperity. In Detail... The picture on this card is of a youngish person, who is often male, though this can indicate a female. He is colourfully dressed and wears a hat and some plumage in it. He carries some red flowers, and a cup with a fish jumping about in it. He looks content and yet very innocent. He could be about to embark on a new career or had just graduated from college, university or from law school. He is clean shaven, either blue or black eyes and has lovely sleek hair. He loves to wear bright coloured clothing which reflects his warmth and compassion for others. If you draw this card and the person is yourself, you may discover some new career direction that will lead you towards prosperity. If it is someone else, they could become very important to you, either by becoming your new best friend, or your lover or husband/wife. This person is also highly sensitive and should therefore only mix with people who are positive and enthusiastic. There may also be some special occasion coming up where you have to put on your best threads.
What is Beneath You The current foundation and what you have access to build upon		Queen of Pentacles Briefly: You are on your way to fame and fortune. In Detail... The picture on this card shows a beautiful woman wearing lovely clothes and a crown on her head, placed on top of lovely beaded headwear. She holds in front of her a large pentacle and her hands are slim and well manicured. She wears a special ring, which has a large oval stone set in it, which is possibly a ruby. There are mountains in the background, similar to those in Hawaii. There is foliage around her and nuts growing on these. Generally she has blue eyes, though could have any eye colour. If you are this person, you are on your way to fame and fortune. You may come into a windfall, marry well, or somehow stumble upon a unique way to increase your income. You will be well liked by your friends and loved by your family and husband. You are serious, yet vulnerable. You are calm, yet can be set back by those who stir conflict around you. The comforts of life are important, more so for your own peace within your own mind knowing that you have what you need. If you are not this woman, then you will meet someone like her who supports you in many and varied ways. If you are a female, this woman will become your most ardent fan and friend. If you are a male, this woman may become your lover or your wife. Cherish her, for she is loyal and affectionate and has your best interests at heart.
What is Behind You The past events or influences that have played a major role in bringing this situation to light		Four of Cups Briefly: An offer should be considered. In Detail... The picture on this card shows a hand holding a cup and this is reaching out from a cloud and presenting the cup to a person who is surrounded by leaves and there is a hill in the background and many trees. There are three cups full of liquid in the foreground. This can represent an offer to be considered. Sometimes it can symbolise that the person is reluctant to accept any offers. However, the wise person should at least investigate what is being presented, rather than dismissing it without knowing all the facts. Something can arise out of the blue and be a surprise. If you happen to notice that your circumstances may alter quite significantly if you take up some new direction, then proceed with assurance that this is the right path for you at this point in time
What is Before You Immediate future and influences all about to come to light		Three of Cups Briefly: Good fortune to come your way. In Detail... The picture on this card is of three lovely looking women and they are wearing hairpieces made of flowers and leaves and there is foliage in the background as well. In front of them on a table are three cups and a variety of fruits. This is a card of celebration and abundance. If you draw this card you can expect some type of good fortune to come your way and you will share your goodies with those near and dear to you. A gathering of at least three women will occur to toast the special occasion or event that has just happened or is just about to happen. Perhaps someone is getting engaged or married. It could very well be your own engagement. One woman has dark short hair, the second one has long blonde hair, whilst the third is a redhead.
Your-Self How you see yourself: a true reflection on your current attitudes and belief systems		The Emperor Briefly: A man of power who tries to bring balance and order to his business activities. He is highly focussed on building a business or empire and seeing to it that things run like clockwork - more family time is indicated. In Detail... He is a man of power who tries to bring balance and order to his business activities. He is highly focussed on building a business or empire and seeing to it that things run like clockwork. He may be the director of CEO or General Manager of a large corporation. His role there us of great importance as he is a man who knows what he is doing. He is exceptionally business minded and goal orientated. He always achieves what he sets out to do. He is fixed in his opinions and refuses to budge once he has made up his mind. He is steadfast and loyal. He does not like deceit in any form. He has high principles and is considered a man of integrity by his employees and friends. The Emperor can be a formidable opponent as he fights to the death. Has has courage and tenacity and little beats him down. He is a man who needs financial security and will work long and hard if necessary to achieve this. His focus on business matters is just about all consuming for him, although he does like family life and will generally seek a wife to stand by his side. He understands the need for close family bonding and love. He makes a good husband and father to his children. He would instil respect in his children and hep them to understand why he is not always there at home. He expects that his wife will provide his needs and also most of the needs of their children. His goal is to maintain financial security and independence and he insists on instilling these qualities in his children. He is not into frivolity or wasting time, though he does occasionally find some peace in solitude, when he can contemplate the meaning of his life. Very little ruffles the Emperor's feathers. He is stable, secure and confident in his approach to life. If you are a young man and this card appears, it could be showing you where you will be in 10 or 20 years from now. The card is encouraging you to seek your financial independence and follow your dreams. This card, if not you, could represent your father or your boss or other influential male in your life. If you are a female, this too could be your father or your boss, or your future partner in life. You can expect that if he becomes your friend and then your lover, he will eventually be your husband or partner for life. If you are a male and over 40, this card may very well represent yourself and it is time to acknowledge where you are on your life's path and perhaps now take time out to relax a little, maybe take the family on an extended overseas holiday and just unwind for awhile. The world won't stop turning if you take leave from your working responsibilities and spend some time with your loved ones, who probably would really appreciate being around you at this time.
Around You How others from home or work or family view the situation		Knight of Swords Briefly: The time for a new adventure. Are you feeling restless and need to get away? Take that chance. In Detail... Physically lean yet strong. He moves swiftly. Restless, active and fiery. Piercing eyes, usually blue. Mostly clean shaven, though not always. Above average height. Personality: Mostly a gentle type, though a little aloof. Does not give out too much about himself. Tends to be almost shy, and is not the type to talk about himself very often. He is a very adventurous character, always exploring, always searching and looking out for somewhere else to go. He is basically a quiet man, chooses his words carefully and is especially selective as to who he chooses as his friends. He can be a rough and tumble type too, when he feels inclined in that direction. He can travel lightly and with great enthusiasm. He likes to see the whole wide world, not just one country. He may not settle down early in life, there is too much of the wanderer in him. He makes a good nomad. He does not like to be bothered with too many possessions as they can weigh him down. He likes to travel light and usually does. He is clever yet just as gullible as the next man. However, he is aware of this in his nature and is ever on guard for anyone who may attempt to take advantage of him. He is always on alert. He looks over his shoulder, just to be on the safe side. Occupations suited to him would be the travel merchant, the travelling artist, a go-between, messenger or courier. He could work on construction sites, just for the fact that they are outdoors. He does not like to be constrained within an office type situation, he would rather die. He needs to be out and about, meeting people, exploring, discovering. Even archeology could appeal to his sense of adventure and excitement and the lure of potential discovery or riches. His future lies in allowing himself the priviledge to be free. Not all people can, or want to do that. He does. This is his destiny. His life is about travel, exploring, discovering and taking risks. He is the daredevil who has no fear of death and may even tend to tempt it at times with his often reckless way of doing things. In love he takes chances and will bear the consequences. As he does not like to be tied down, he is unlikely to settle or marry until later in life, usually after age 30 or even longer. Querent's card. If this is you, now may be the time for a new adventure. Are you feeling restless and need to get away? Take that chance, that new opportunity that has just presented itself and just go. Do it. Go there. Life is not for stagnation, but then again, you always knew that. If you are not the querent and this card appears, then there is a somewhat restless person about to enter your life fleetingly. He will not stay too long. He has other plans, other dreams. Do not try to put chains around his neck or tie him down to the drudgery of the 9 to 5 routine in any way. He will leave quicker than you can say his name. He knows his destiny, and you are just a stop over point on his quest for far greater experiences.
Hopes and Fears That which one coverts that lies deep inside, hopes and fears are but a razors edge apart		Eight of Pentacles Briefly: A keen eye for details may lead to you gaining a financial increase. In Detail... The picture on this card shows a dark haired man with a moustache bending over a table laden with coins. He has a hammer in his right hand and an engraving implement in his left hand. He is studiously working away making the coins with his hands. He is strong, muscular and very attentive to details. On the wall behind him are the results of his hard work, various pentacles displayed there for all to see, like awards. If you are this man then are you industrious and will lend a hand wherever possible. You have a keen eye for details and can be counted on to finish the days tasks. You may be about to come into a financial increase of some kind, which may be by your own efforts, or given to you for your own generosity in the past. If you are a woman you may be about to meed this man and he will be a loyal companion and a devoted husband and father if you choose to become united with him. He will be a good provider and keen to see that you get your needs met in every way.
The Outcome Eventual outcome based on current card path		Queen of Wands Briefly: You may also be about to meet someone very special with whom you fall in love with and marry. In Detail... The picture on this card is of a woman wearing a crown and beautiful clothes and a robe, with a wand in one hand and a lovely golden sunflower in the other. There is an abundance of green leaves around the flower and the wand. She looks serene and calm. She is obviously a woman of considerable power and influence. She also appears warm and welcoming. She has lovely blonde hair and blue eyes. She displays an air of sophistication and strength. If you are this woman then you have truly found your destiny. If this is the woman you are about to become, then rest assured your future is secure and you will find all of your needs met. You may also be about to meet someone very special with whom you fall in love with and marry. This may develop during the warmer months of the year, as in Spring or Summer. If this is someone you know, then value her friendship, for she is loyal and trustworthy. If you are a male, you may meet this woman through a friend and become involved with her in a romantic relationship. If you are a young person, this person could be your mother or a teacher, or both.

Personality Test

Took this test many days ago from a friend who I kinda lost contact... one of my really treasured sec sch fren. Not that he is gonna to read this blog but that doesn't stop me from saying that line coz ... seriously 1000 times, he really is a very good listener & advisor throughout my sec sch/jc/initial uni life phase. Without him, I might not be half the ME I am??

Anyway here's the result:

You're complex, thoughtful and never content to skate on the surface. Chances are you veer towards being so analytical and introspective that even positive qualities can seem like faults. The truth is that you have a very perceptive, gentle spirit.

You hate chaos at work and prefer a structured environment and sometimes you feel undervalued by your boss. There's a part deep inside you that's aching to make more money.

And that's just scratching the surface!

There is a detailed report but not going to blog it.. that would be telling too much about myself haha.. The reason I'm blogging now is because I'm thinking... and thinking.. and thinking about myself lately.

First question I ask myself, why do I blog?

I'm a listener by nature. I don't like talking, and it is extremely obvious when I'm in a super crowded situation. The more crowded the place, the quieter I am, and the more I wished I'm in a corner. So why do I blog? That is like being verbal. It has been said that blogging become a phenomenon partly because people can write what they want to say and still remain anonymous. Not true. Everything one says will lead the reader (hopefully there is at least one reader) to know more about the writer. And I like to be mysterious. So why blog? I ask myself so many times I think I’m fed up with myself too. In the end I decided I blog because I’m too lazy to write my diary… lame excuses. But with blogging, I can just type anytime so long my computer is on and I do face the computer at least 8 hours a day, Monday to Saturday. So maybe blogging is really an easier way to keep track of my thoughts.

Which leads me to my second question, why do I think?

I have too much thoughts running in my mind, am a real worrier at heart that sometimes it is impossible to concentrate on the urgent task at hand. I can be rushing a program, then fritter my time surfing the net for some impromptu thoughts. I always have negative thoughts, of people being unhappy of myself, of myself not performing to its utmost (self-confessed self-critic). Admit it, I have very low self-esteem. I need to be more confident of myself. But it has been an arduous task. How can you stop a self-critic from criticising herself right? Then if she keep criticising herself, how is she going to be more confident of herself? It all boils down the thoughts in her brain. The lesser she think, the better for her. Hmm then how do I think less? Gosh I think I will never stop thinking if I keep on like these…

Reading on 13th Apr

What Covers You That which influences the general atmosphere or environment (current situation)		Queen of Cups Briefly: You could be about to achieve a position that is very dear to your heart or perhaps child birth or a wedding. In Detail... The picture on this card shows a beautiful woman, dressed in a gown that could be a wedding dress. This is holding a cup between her hands as if she has just been given this by someone in front of her. She has lovely blonde hair that is braided and she wears pearl earrings and some pearls around her hair. She wears an elaborate head dressing and there is a large fan in the background. She is stood beside the ocean. If this is you, then you may be about to get married or even have your first child. You are sensitive and caring and very family orientated. You are immaculately well groomed and have great pride in your appearance. You could be about to achieve a position that is very dear to your heart. If this is not you, then someone you know already, or whom you are about to meet, who is described by this card is about to enter your life and make a huge impact on your lifestyle.
What Crosses You Obstacles, conflicts or opposition in the path		Two of Cups Briefly: Perhaps a new love is going to appear and involve some long-range commitment for you, the birth of a child or new found love. In Detail... The picture on this card shows a man and a woman looking at each other and each one has a cup in the left hand and they are making a toast. There are some heavy black clouds in the background and these may indicate a period of time, such as further in the distance, or in the past. Perhaps a new love is going to appear and involve some long-range commitment for you. The number two can represent time as in days, weeks or months and this may indicate when the encounter will take place. The woman may also become pregnant early on in the relationship, or if a married couple have been trying and this has been delayed or hindered in some way, now it may eventuate. Also there can be a celebration of some kind and this of course could indicate the celebration of the birth of a child. If you are single and looking for romance, then it may be on its way and you could find this person proves to be your soulmate.
What Crowns You That which has gone before you, those past events and influences that have led you to this path		Eight of Pentacles Briefly: A keen eye for details may lead to you gaining a financial increase. In Detail... The picture on this card shows a dark haired man with a moustache bending over a table laden with coins. He has a hammer in his right hand and an engraving implement in his left hand. He is studiously working away making the coins with his hands. He is strong, muscular and very attentive to details. On the wall behind him are the results of his hard work, various pentacles displayed there for all to see, like awards. If you are this man then are you industrious and will lend a hand wherever possible. You have a keen eye for details and can be counted on to finish the days tasks. You may be about to come into a financial increase of some kind, which may be by your own efforts, or given to you for your own generosity in the past. If you are a woman you may be about to meed this man and he will be a loyal companion and a devoted husband and father if you choose to become united with him. He will be a good provider and keen to see that you get your needs met in every way.
What is Beneath You The current foundation and what you have access to build upon		Ten of Swords Briefly: A time to recuperate after an operation or period of sickness. In Detail... At first sight this card looks just awful. There is a picture of a person laying face down in the snow with ten swords stuck in his/her back with blood oozing out everywhere. This can give a very distressing impression to your client when seeing this card in their layout. However, generally the card is not as depressing as originally seemed. It can just be a time to recuperate after an operation, which could have involved the back or neck. This person may also be needing some bed rest from exhaustion or is possibly temporarily depressed due to a current situation. Time does heal all wounds. There are stars twinkling in the dark night sky in the background, giving hope and inspiration that dawn will eventually, and always does, arrive. Daylight is only hours away, if only we do not lose sight of that timely event. The person does recover, does carry on and move into the light of day with renewed vigour and enthusiasm. It just sometimes takes a little time and possibly some tender loving care. The month of October may be particularly significant in relation to some event connected to the picture on this card. All is not lost though, as the month comes and goes just like every other month and by November all is generally well again and life is back on track.
What is Behind You The past events or influences that have played a major role in bringing this situation to light		King of Cups Briefly: A proposal or proposition. In Detail... This card shows a man dressed in armour. He is holding a cup, as if offering it to someone on front of him. In the background is a blue sky, a river and some mountains and lush green trees and grass. It appears to be a Spring day. The man is clean shaven and good looking. He wears his uniform proudly. If this is you, then you may be about to propose to the object of your affection. If this is someone you know, then you may be on the receiving end of a proposal or proposition from this man. He is affectionate and caring and offers his pledge with sincerity and love. There could also be a new job offer and this may also involve a place at a distance.
What is Before You Immediate future and influences all about to come to light		Eight of Swords Briefly: A difficult situation to deal with. In Detail... This can be a difficult situation to deal with. There may be restrictions in your life that you would like to be freed from. It is also a mentally stressful occasion that requires clarity of thinking and forethought to resolve. If you keep your wits about you and refuse to be depressed you will manage to sail through this time with flying colours and be amazed at your strength of will when you have come out of the other end of the fog and retrospectively look back on how well you handled yourself and the dilemma you had faced. Endurance is the key to coping right now and your decisions may have far-reaching consequences. You will find you have matured throughout the process of dealing with your problems. You may have to let go of relationships and friendships and this will prove to be an unburdening for you and allow you the freedom to pursue your own goals. Do not be dismayed by these goodbyes, for they are a necessary part of your new path to follow, unhindered by a lifestyle that had cramped your style and your latent talents. Now you will start to blossom and to produce good works in whatever field you focus on right now. Allow flexibility in your thinking for fresh ideas and ways of doing things will open new doorways to your true destiny
Your-Self How you see yourself: a true reflection on your current attitudes and belief systems		Eight of Wands Briefly: A new love is coming into your life and very swiftly at that. In Detail... This card has a picture of eight wands running right across it. For some this can mean that a new love is coming into your life and very swiftly at that. It brings things quickly into focus and gives you the opportunity to seize a brilliant opportunity or improve your life in some way. You could also be about to move to a more tranquil setting in either your home life or the location or your work. A river or other picturesque scene may be part of your new environment, or you may meet someone special in just such a location. If you are planning a pregnancy, now may be your most fertile time. The energy of the season of Spring may make you feel inspired to be especially creative.
Around You How others from home or work or family view the situation		Knight of Cups Briefly: There is success ahead for you, especially if you follow your instincts at every turn. In Detail... The picture on this card shows a good looking, blue eyed, clean shaven man. He is wearing a head-dress of some type and is heavily draped in colourful clothing. He carries a wand in his left hand and a cup in his right. He appears regal and conservative. His calm outer nature may disguise a very gentle and sensitive soul. He may be born under a water sign of either Cancer, Scorpio or Pisces. He is compassionate, caring and considerate to others needs. In the background there is the ocean, which partly reflects his nature as being deep and potentially mysterious. If you are this man, you are on your way to reaching your goals. There is success ahead for you, especially if you follow your instincts at every turn. If you are a woman and you draw this card, you may be about to meet him and he will play a pivotal role in your life and may even become your husband. He will be protective of you and look upon the family as his most significant inspiration and reason for happiness.
Hopes and Fears That which one coverts that lies deep inside, hopes and fears are but a razors edge apart		Four of Wands Briefly: Perhaps the family is becoming more important to you or one long distant family member is coming to stay or you are planning to visit their home. In Detail... This is a beautiful card to behold. To me it appears that there is a castle in the distance, on a hill-top and the two wands on either side seem to represent the entrance or gateway to this lovely home. The garland of flowers draped over the wands give an impression of comfort, warmth and beauty. For some this card can mean that you are about to move house. The new one will be a significant improvement on the current abode. If you have already just moved, then the emphasis will be on relaxation and a sanctuary way from the hustle and the bustle of city life. A home in the country would be a suitable location to be living in. Serenity and peace will be the mode of daily living. Perhaps the family is becoming more important to you or one long distant family member is coming to stay or you are planning to visit their home, which is probably at a distance from where you are at the moment.
The Outcome Eventual outcome based on current card path		The Chariot Briefly: Travel awaits you. Should the other travel card, the six of swords also be in your card layout, then this is an indicator that you are to move across new ground, or maybe even purchase a mode of travel such as a car. In Detail... Generally speaking this card depicts some kind of travel. Should the other travel card, the six of swords also be in your card layout, then this is an indicator that you are to move across new ground. However, even by itself, as this is a major arcana card, travel is still a strong possibility. You may travel quite a distance and your goal is to get there, by whatever means you can find, even horseback if necessary. This can also mean that someone is coming from a long distance towards you. For some people this can represent getting a new mode of transport, such as buying your first car, or buying a new car or bike or whatever. The emphasis is on getting to your destination by the quickest route available. This card too is about choices. You may have to make a major decision around this time that will alter your circumstances quite dramatically. Do not resist change for that will disrupt the natural flow of events that are waiting to unfold for you. Also I have seen this card manifest in matters to do with re-decorating the home. Sometimes it is just new curtains or cushions, however the aim is to bring comfort into the home.

Love Story

It was a busy morning, approximately 8:30 am, when an elderly gentleman,
in his 80's, arrived to have stitches removed from his thumb. He stated
that he was in a hurry as he had an appointment at 9:00 am.

I saw him looking at his watch and decided, since I was not busy with
another patient, I would evaluate his wound. On exam it was well healed,
so I talked to one of the doctors, got the needed supplies to remove his
sutures and redressed his wound.

While taking care of his wound, we began to engage in conversation. I
asked him if he had an important appointment that morning, as he was in
such a hurry. The gentleman told me no, that he needed to go to the
nursing home to eat breakfast with his wife.

I then inquired as to her health. He told me that she had been there for
a while and that she was a victim of Alzheimer Disease.

As we talked, and I finished dressing his wound, I asked if she would be
worried if he was a bit late. He replied that she no longer knew who he
was, that she had not recognized him in five years now.

I was surprised, and asked him. "And you still go every morning, even
though she doesn't know who you are?"

He smiled as he patted my hand and said. "She doesn't know me, but I
still know who she is."

I had to hold back tears as he left and thought, "That is the kind of
love I want in my life."

True love is neither physical, nor romantic. True love is an acceptance
of all that is, has been, will be, and will not be.

The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything;
they just make the best of everything that comes their way.

Happiness doesn't depend on what you have but how contented you are.
It's not how others can make you happy but rather how you can make
others happy, even tho sometimes it's at the expense of your own
happiness.

Life is what we make it... always has been, always will be.


Author's Note : My dad had forwarded this mail to me. I find it touching in a sense, it is a very small gesture, but the impact it has is tremendous. After watching finish "Jewel in the Palace", I actually am feeling depressed. Not sure is it because I stayed up late every day to finish it, thus affecting my body. Or is it because school is starting and I start to feel stress again. Or because it is just me. The me who can never measure up to what I should be. If I have half of Dae Jang Geum's selfless, maybe I will not be so self critical of myself. I would have been more satisfied with my love life, my own life. I'm not sure... maybe I should go for tarot reading again...

A380

Lovely Picture rite! Should have got it in Nov 05... but my blur dad, didn't realise he type the wrong email address till i check his mail box today...

Nevermind, better late than never. Lovely lovely... Hee Hee

Reading on 22nd Mar

What Covers You That which influences the general atmosphere or environment (current situation)		Five of Wands Briefly: A symbol of some conflict that is currently going on around you or is about to take place. In Detail... Often this is a symbol of some conflict that is currently going on around you or is about to take place. However for some it can be a gathering of people, united together to achieve a common goal. This could be akin to builders erecting a house, or even a political party meeting to seek cohesion in their direction. More than likely though a lot of activity takes place and you can see that there are basically many hands on deck. The issue may be that there is some expertise and effort needed to get everyone thinking on the same level, rather than a divided group. If you wish to create a more harmonious state amongst a group of people who are not seeing eye to eye, try to find a common denominator and work on that element of these people.
What Crosses You Obstacles, conflicts or opposition in the path		Six of Swords Briefly: This is a card of travel and usually means going over water, though can mean an ocean voyage specifically. In Detail... Aren't you lucky if you draw this card? You may be about to take off to further horizons and go exploring. This is a card of travel and usually means going over water, though can mean an ocean voyage specifically. You are usually not going alone, there is someone else with you. It is also a card showing that you are protected in some way or someone is looking after you and your needs at this time. It is time to relax and enjoy yourself and take time out to explore other parts of this wonderful world we live in. It is quite an adventurous card and shows that you are ready for new experiences and will welcome whatever changes arise. Your longing for distant shores also means that your life may have been becoming a little stagnant of late, and you need fresh air and a change of scenery. Go some place you have never been before and allow yourself to flow with the winds of change.
What Crowns You That which has gone before you, those past events and influences that have led you to this path		King of Wands Briefly: A man who has come a long way and yet feels he still has so much to do ahead of him. In Detail... King of Wands. The picture on this card is of a man wearing a warm woollen cape and he has an emblem on the shoulder which could signify some kind of badge or logo associated with his profession. He also wears a hood and he is holding a wand in his left hand. He is often a married man with children. His is warm in character and a good listener. He likes to take charge of situations and can handle most that life presents to him. He is a keen sportsman and is usually very energetic. He is proud and can command respect on entering a room. He is masterful and shows others his talents if he is asked to do so, otherwise he is reflective and private. He is a man who has come a long way and yet feels he still has so much to do ahead of him. Travel is one of his favourite pursuits and he does this to explore nature and the different cultures. He is always open to new challenges and loves learning everything he can about life and the differing philosophies. If you are not this man, and you are male, he may enter your life and you would be grateful to have him as a friend. If you are a young male, this will be who you become after about the age of 35. If you are a woman, this could be your husband or your future husband. If you are a married woman and he is not your husband, he may be the husband of one of your best friends.
What is Beneath You The current foundation and what you have access to build upon		The Hanged Man Briefly: There is some type of time lapse going on around you. Things have not quite reached fruition and you have to take a wait and see attitude. In Detail... When you draw this card you are being advised that there is some type of time lapse going on around you. Things have not quite reached fruition and you have to take a wait and see attitude. There may be some delay to your plans and it is best to be patient and bide your time. Someone may seem unbalanced around you and creating a difficult though not unsolvable problem. Trust your judgement and make allowances for this for the time being. Time is the great healer of most dilemmas so be the keeper of your own counsel and it will serve you well. Someone may also be having difficulty with their leg and unable to walk or get around as they usually do. They may need a walking stick or crutches, just temporarily. Give a wide berth to anyone who is not in the best of health either physically, mentally or emotionally. If you have to make an important decision around now, take your time to weigh all the facts and be sure that it is the best choice possible.
What is Behind You The past events or influences that have played a major role in bringing this situation to light		Two of Wands Briefly: Time to consider a new move in your life that will make big changes to your existing living arrangements. In Detail... This card shows a man with part of his back to us and he is holding a staff in one hand and a globe of the world in the other and is looking out towards a distant mountain. He appears to be studious and in deep concentration. He may be seriously considering his future. He is tall and well built and wears a helmet for protection and a cloak for warmth. This can suggest that you are about to consider a new move in your life that will make big changes to your existing living arrangements. You may actually uproot yourself and move to another country, another state or another town. Your job is obviously undergoing some kind of transformation and you may be breaking new ground with some new endeavour. This will require your time, your patience and your strong belief in yourself that you can do anything you set out to do. You could be presented with a rather unique opportunity that leads you on to pursue your wildest dreams. Or you may have developed your own vision or idea and be in the process of bringing this all to fruition by your very own hands. Don't let others sidetrack you at this stage, for you are vulnerable to suggestion and may listen to some bad advice or discouragement. Trust in your own wisdom and you will ultimately have the last laugh.
What is Before You Immediate future and influences all about to come to light		Queen of Swords Briefly: Her future lies in learning to trust others again. In Detail... Physically usually (though not always) tall and/or slender woman. Quite often has dark hair. Refined appearance and conservative in dress most of the time. Gracious manner. She prefers sophisticated clothing. Personality is cautious and clever. Can be cunning, destructive and manipulative. She is often aloof and distant. She keeps her distance and puts up barriers around herself. She displays an air of unemotional responses. She may appear hard, selfish and self-controlled. Beneath her facade she hides much previous emotional pain and/or hardship. She has learnt how to survive. She is a woman alone. She is either a widow, divorced, a spinster or without a loving partner. She may have spent a long time on her own and keeps up her defences and her sword drawn to protect her at all times. She has a fondness for red roses. She looks good in black clothing. She likes to wear expensive or perhaps antique and conservative jewellery most of the time, though sometimes she wears some bold jewels. She knows she would or could be seduced if she lets her guard down. She is not a social butterfly. She can seem to be unforgiving in some circumstances, but this is her self-defence mechanism being activated to avoid feeling pain and disturbing emotional reactions. She cries in her sleep, and little elsewhere. She feels more in control if she can avoid having too deep feelings for anyone, lest they puncture her heart and give her reason to despair. She can become big hearted if in the right company and circumstances and when she feels safe and secure. There is hope for her and she is wise enough to know it. She is symbolic of the rose, seductive and potentially dangerous, capable of cutting the skin and making it bleed, yet the soft velvety petals can blossom into the most beautiful arrangement and captivate your heart. She is wistful and reflective, serious yet sensuous, yet always alert. She is capable of being the Goddess or the crucifier. Occupations suited to her would be the head of a company or large organisation. Also she would make a great surgeon, doctor, police officer, dentist or anything that involves the use of sharp items or weapons. She would make a good soldier, warrior, fighter or leader of a revolution. She knows only one truth, her own. Her future lies in learning to trust others again. She has been severely betrayed in the past by women and men alike. She may need to take a leaf out of the book of the Queen of Cups, who is more giving, loving and affectionate. She could have a love relationship but only if total trust exists. There is no room for dishonesty or lies. If she is betrayed, she severs her relationships completely and irrevocably and never goes back. Friends are cast off and not seen again should they make the mistake to betray or abuse her. Her goodwill only stretches so far and behind that she may lose some of her sense of compassion, knowing that others should learn to be more self-reliant, like herself. She may go to the extreme of cutting off her husband's head, should he betray or deceive her. Querent's card. If this is you, then you may be being called to meet the challenge of your strengths and you will meet this head on regardless of whether this produces success or failure. Even in failure, you will learn where you went wrong and this is the ultimate lesson. If you are not the querent and this card appears, I suggest that you make an ally of this woman, because she can be a powerful opponent if you should cross her. She is loyal and steadfast to those she gets close to, just don't mess with her, because you will wish you hadn't.
Your-Self How you see yourself: a true reflection on your current attitudes and belief systems		Ten of Pentacles Briefly: A blessed union, one full of love and caring. In Detail... The picture on this card shows a couple, a man and a woman, arm in arm under an archway. They are looking at each other very affectionately, and it is possible that these people are in the process of getting married. There are two rods in front of them, each bearing a long cloth and each has five pentacles on it, signifying sharing in equal parts. He is tall and handsome and has long brown hair and wears a beard and moustache, making him look particularly masculine. She has a purple turban on her head with a feather in it, and she is beautiful, slender and very refined in appearance. If you are currently single, you may be about to become attached, as in meeting the person you will eventually marry, or actually tying the knot very soon if you are engaged. This will be a blessed union, one full of love and caring. There may also be some financial benefits of mutual sharing coming up in the very near future. If you are currently not particularly financial, your future security is near at hand, and this may come about via any means, such as a windfall, inheritance or the benefit of shared resources.
Around You How others from home or work or family view the situation		Four of Cups Briefly: An offer should be considered. In Detail... The picture on this card shows a hand holding a cup and this is reaching out from a cloud and presenting the cup to a person who is surrounded by leaves and there is a hill in the background and many trees. There are three cups full of liquid in the foreground. This can represent an offer to be considered. Sometimes it can symbolise that the person is reluctant to accept any offers. However, the wise person should at least investigate what is being presented, rather than dismissing it without knowing all the facts. Something can arise out of the blue and be a surprise. If you happen to notice that your circumstances may alter quite significantly if you take up some new direction, then proceed with assurance that this is the right path for you at this point in time
Hopes and Fears That which one coverts that lies deep inside, hopes and fears are but a razors edge apart		Three of Wands Briefly: The seeker of knowledge and truth. He searches until he finds what he is looking for. In Detail... This card depicts a man with his back to us though revealing part of his face as he looks out over the hillside. He holds a wand in his hand which has three leaves sprouting from it signifying growth and abundance. In front of him is another wand and behind him the third wand. He is contemplating his future and possibly the journey ahead of him. In the distance are mountains with high peaks. It appears to be an almost barren environment, warm and dry. However he has with him the symbols of growth and can plant wherever he sees fit. He wants to settle down, but must first wander and roam until he finds his true home. This card too is the seeker of knowledge and truth. He searches until he finds what he is looking for.
The Outcome Eventual outcome based on current card path		Judgement Briefly: It can be a new life created out of the wisdom of the lessons you have learned from your past and even from the mistakes you have made. If there is someone in your life whom you would like to reunite with, now is the time to approach them and rekindle lost friendship, or long lost love. In Detail... This card shows a man, woman and child in a boat going over the ocean. The man is holding a bugle and he appears confident and strong. If you are a single man and you draw this card, it is symbolic of your forthcoming marriage and the birth of your child. If you are single woman, it can symbolise the new man who is going to come into your life and he is fertile and will become the father of your child, possibly your very first child. This card can also symbolise a time of deep reflection on your life, the mistakes you have made and how you are at the point of trying to understand what all this means and rectify whatever you can. It can be a new life created out of the wisdom of the lessons you have learned from your past and even from the mistakes you have made. If there is someone in your life whom you would like to reunite with, now is the time to approach them and rekindle lost friendship, or long lost love. Travel can be undertaken at this time and it will radically change your whole life.

10 Cards Again

What Covers You That which influences the general atmosphere or environment (current situation)		Six of Wands Briefly: You are about to be recognised or honoured in some way for your talents and achievements. In Detail... This is a victory card, so if you draw this in your reading you are about to be recognised or honoured in some way for your talents and achievements. People will look to your for inspiration and possibly leadership. You may also be considering doing some travelling or certainly exploring further options as they arise, rather than let them slip through your fingers. You could be given the directorship of a company or other exciting challenge to meet. You will be compensated for your talents in such a way that there is now no going back to your old defeatist ways.
What Crosses You Obstacles, conflicts or opposition in the path		Six of Swords Briefly: This is a card of travel and usually means going over water, though can mean an ocean voyage specifically. In Detail... Aren't you lucky if you draw this card? You may be about to take off to further horizons and go exploring. This is a card of travel and usually means going over water, though can mean an ocean voyage specifically. You are usually not going alone, there is someone else with you. It is also a card showing that you are protected in some way or someone is looking after you and your needs at this time. It is time to relax and enjoy yourself and take time out to explore other parts of this wonderful world we live in. It is quite an adventurous card and shows that you are ready for new experiences and will welcome whatever changes arise. Your longing for distant shores also means that your life may have been becoming a little stagnant of late, and you need fresh air and a change of scenery. Go some place you have never been before and allow yourself to flow with the winds of change.
What Crowns You That which has gone before you, those past events and influences that have led you to this path		Knight of Wands Briefly: An indication of the arrival of someone important coming into your life. In Detail... The picture on this card is of a man on a horse swiftly charging through the day with fearless abandon. He has a mission and knows exactly where he is going. Sometimes this card can indicate the arrival of someone important coming into your life, or it can signal the hasty departure of someone from your life. If you are expecting someone to arrive, they will do so very quickly. If you sense that someone wants out, they will leave just as quickly. This can also signal some type of emergency, though not necessarily too serious of an event that has speeded up. Perhaps someone is admitted to hospital and you have to get there quickly. There is unlikely to be any serious problems stem from this event, just that the matter had to be dealt with as soon as possible, without any delays, such as an appendix attack, for example. If you are single, it can mean your next lover is just around the corner and you will find this person to be very warm and responsible. He or she may be born under an Earth sign, such as Taurus, Virgo or Capricorn.
What is Beneath You The current foundation and what you have access to build upon		The Hanged Man Briefly: There is some type of time lapse going on around you. Things have not quite reached fruition and you have to take a wait and see attitude. In Detail... When you draw this card you are being advised that there is some type of time lapse going on around you. Things have not quite reached fruition and you have to take a wait and see attitude. There may be some delay to your plans and it is best to be patient and bide your time. Someone may seem unbalanced around you and creating a difficult though not unsolvable problem. Trust your judgement and make allowances for this for the time being. Time is the great healer of most dilemmas so be the keeper of your own counsel and it will serve you well. Someone may also be having difficulty with their leg and unable to walk or get around as they usually do. They may need a walking stick or crutches, just temporarily. Give a wide berth to anyone who is not in the best of health either physically, mentally or emotionally. If you have to make an important decision around now, take your time to weigh all the facts and be sure that it is the best choice possible.
What is Behind You The past events or influences that have played a major role in bringing this situation to light		Two of Wands Briefly: Time to consider a new move in your life that will make big changes to your existing living arrangements. In Detail... This card shows a man with part of his back to us and he is holding a staff in one hand and a globe of the world in the other and is looking out towards a distant mountain. He appears to be studious and in deep concentration. He may be seriously considering his future. He is tall and well built and wears a helmet for protection and a cloak for warmth. This can suggest that you are about to consider a new move in your life that will make big changes to your existing living arrangements. You may actually uproot yourself and move to another country, another state or another town. Your job is obviously undergoing some kind of transformation and you may be breaking new ground with some new endeavour. This will require your time, your patience and your strong belief in yourself that you can do anything you set out to do. You could be presented with a rather unique opportunity that leads you on to pursue your wildest dreams. Or you may have developed your own vision or idea and be in the process of bringing this all to fruition by your very own hands. Don't let others sidetrack you at this stage, for you are vulnerable to suggestion and may listen to some bad advice or discouragement. Trust in your own wisdom and you will ultimately have the last laugh.
What is Before You Immediate future and influences all about to come to light		Nine of Wands Briefly: A time of waiting, of being patient while the crop ripens or the project matures. In Detail... Nine of Wands. This card has a picture a robust bearded man with a helmet on, carrying a wand over his shoulder and another 8 wands are upright beside him. This is a time of waiting, of being patient while the crop ripens or the project matures. We need to understand that stability arises out of wisdom and patience. Haste and immaturity do not assist our plans at a time like this. We need to develop the sense of endurance and being in it for the long haul. We must persevere and be able to see that nothing of value or no-one of merit arrives prior to the right time. If we can maintain our steadfastness during the period before fruition, then the harvest will reap a healthy profit. It may be time to do things that represent protection, such as battening down the hatches, fixing the fences or the gate or door and ensuring that all is safe within the home. Perhaps we need some other financial protection such as a nest egg, a new savings project or even some insurance of some kind, whether personal or for our belongings. Trust in the old saying that 'all comes to those who wait'.
Your-Self How you see yourself: a true reflection on your current attitudes and belief systems		Three of Wands Briefly: The seeker of knowledge and truth. He searches until he finds what he is looking for. In Detail... This card depicts a man with his back to us though revealing part of his face as he looks out over the hillside. He holds a wand in his hand which has three leaves sprouting from it signifying growth and abundance. In front of him is another wand and behind him the third wand. He is contemplating his future and possibly the journey ahead of him. In the distance are mountains with high peaks. It appears to be an almost barren environment, warm and dry. However he has with him the symbols of growth and can plant wherever he sees fit. He wants to settle down, but must first wander and roam until he finds his true home. This card too is the seeker of knowledge and truth. He searches until he finds what he is looking for.
Around You How others from home or work or family view the situation		The World Briefly: Travel is often associated with this card, new found freedom is just around the corner. You may also expect that your situation will improve quite dramatically in the near future and you are able to explore life with more energy and enthusiasm. In Detail... The World. This card shows a woman standing in the centre of the card and all she is wearing is a piece of cloth draped around her body leaving her breasts bare. She is apparently dancing and has a wand of some type in each hand. She has long brown hair and is carefree and open about herself and her motives. There is a wreath of leaves and ribbon surrounding her and behind this is the bull, lion, eagle and the head of a male figure. These represent the four fixed signs of the zodiac which are Taurus, Leo, Scorpio and Aquarius. These signs may very well be symbolic of someone in your life already who is having a huge influence on you, or it can represent someone coming into your life who is born under one of these signs of the zodiac. Travel is often associated with this card, as it can mean travelling the world and meeting many people on your journey. It is also a card of freedom which is indicated by the woman being almost naked. If you wish to be free of some limiting circumstance and then you draw this card, chances are you new found freedom is just around the corner. You may also expect that your situation will improve quite dramatically in the near future and you are able to explore life with more energy and enthusiasm. Circumstance can alter so quickly that you basically blink and then discover you have a new life opening up to you.
Hopes and Fears That which one coverts that lies deep inside, hopes and fears are but a razors edge apart		Five of Pentacles Briefly: You may be called upon to help someone in need and this may be financial help. In Detail... The picture on this card shows a woman who is wearing a scarf covering her head and shoulders. She is comforting a young man who has a bloodied bandage around his head. His left hand is also injured and bandaged. He carries a long stick in his left hand to assist him walking. The woman looks concerned for the young man and wishes to protect him from life’s harsh experiences. In the background is a large disc containing five pentacles. If you draw this card you may be called upon to help someone in need and this may be financial help. You would be wise to question the motives of this person, just in case they are leaning on you too heavily, whereas they should be standing on their own two feet.
The Outcome Eventual outcome based on current card path		Knight of Swords Briefly: The time for a new adventure. Are you feeling restless and need to get away? Take that chance. In Detail... Physically lean yet strong. He moves swiftly. Restless, active and fiery. Piercing eyes, usually blue. Mostly clean shaven, though not always. Above average height. Personality: Mostly a gentle type, though a little aloof. Does not give out too much about himself. Tends to be almost shy, and is not the type to talk about himself very often. He is a very adventurous character, always exploring, always searching and looking out for somewhere else to go. He is basically a quiet man, chooses his words carefully and is especially selective as to who he chooses as his friends. He can be a rough and tumble type too, when he feels inclined in that direction. He can travel lightly and with great enthusiasm. He likes to see the whole wide world, not just one country. He may not settle down early in life, there is too much of the wanderer in him. He makes a good nomad. He does not like to be bothered with too many possessions as they can weigh him down. He likes to travel light and usually does. He is clever yet just as gullible as the next man. However, he is aware of this in his nature and is ever on guard for anyone who may attempt to take advantage of him. He is always on alert. He looks over his shoulder, just to be on the safe side. Occupations suited to him would be the travel merchant, the travelling artist, a go-between, messenger or courier. He could work on construction sites, just for the fact that they are outdoors. He does not like to be constrained within an office type situation, he would rather die. He needs to be out and about, meeting people, exploring, discovering. Even archeology could appeal to his sense of adventure and excitement and the lure of potential discovery or riches. His future lies in allowing himself the priviledge to be free. Not all people can, or want to do that. He does. This is his destiny. His life is about travel, exploring, discovering and taking risks. He is the daredevil who has no fear of death and may even tend to tempt it at times with his often reckless way of doing things. In love he takes chances and will bear the consequences. As he does not like to be tied down, he is unlikely to settle or marry until later in life, usually after age 30 or even longer. Querent's card. If this is you, now may be the time for a new adventure. Are you feeling restless and need to get away? Take that chance, that new opportunity that has just presented itself and just go. Do it. Go there. Life is not for stagnation, but then again, you always knew that. If you are not the querent and this card appears, then there is a somewhat restless person about to enter your life fleetingly. He will not stay too long. He has other plans, other dreams. Do not try to put chains around his neck or tie him down to the drudgery of the 9 to 5 routine in any way. He will leave quicker than you can say his name. He knows his destiny, and you are just a stop over point on his quest for far greater experiences.

Author's Note : Since I had to retrieve this url for my fren, I decided to have a go at the results again. And once again, it is to ask me to change my environment. Gosh, am I so restless that these cards can feel it too? Or is this site always asking people to change??? It is interesting to read the results, when I have concluded to myself that I shall bid my time... Maybe the results really reflect my true thoughts. Hmm...

F.I.R - Fly Away

After reading/analysing/pondering over the prediction... i only have one conclusion.... need a revamp. But in what? Career? Makeover? Love???

Have been trying to find a song to suit my mood... and I found it...

FIR - Fly Away

清晨的微风 如此的平凡 看似简单
雾气驱散 温柔的阳光中
慢慢醒了过来 准备面对挑战

在新的世纪 该抛开过去
是好是坏 要放得开
往梦想的路 没有想象中简单
我还要更勇敢

回忆就像漩涡它将我拉走
时间的钟响起 我不该逗留

Fly Away 不管留下了多少眼泪
坚持下去的动力还在
Nothing I Will Be Afraid
Fly Away 不管未来有多困难
我仍然能感觉心跳还在
Nothing I Will Be Afraid

Reminds me of the migratory birds I saw 2 days ago. They were flying in a W formation. Very pretty. And they know where they are heading to... somewhere warm to snuggle.

As for me... I shall bid my time. Afterall the future that these cards refer, is not the immediate future. But a future further than what I can visualise now, and a future I definitely hope to achieve.