If I could vote...

I only voted once, and that was even before I really knew what voting means. The 2000s was a different environment, and I was a different person then.

Back then I had only just started working. Back then opposition sounded credible. We had Mr. Chiam and Mr. Low. Back then Hougang SMC and Potong Pasir SMC were always considered the opposition wards. Back then social media wasn't that active.

A decade later, I change and everything change too. But that's why I always believe change is the only constant. We have to progress. Much as we all love the old Singapore, we know that the new Singapore has to continue evolving for us to progress.

So every time I come back to Singapore, I see changes. Some for better, some not really. And I compare. Compare against Melbourne, against Tokyo. Many say we don't appreciate our country till we see the world and realized we took a lot of things for granted while we were in Singapore. I say I seen positive points in Melbourne and Tokyo which I'm sure Singapore can learn from. At least the transport in Tokyo is of substantial standard despite the highly dense population. But I could say the same that in terms of efficiency, how much I hate the efficiency rate in Melbourne when comparing it with Singapore. The response rate from the (particular) property agent was driving me nuts just a few weeks ago. Though I'm did encounter more efficient property agent but unfortunately I couldn't find any suitable apartment under their listings. In the end, I feel is not that we don't appreciate the new Singapore, we are just at the stage where we reminisce old Singapore and wish to hold on the good parts about it. Is probably like our parents would miss the kampung days but not the 'partially clean' living condition or the 'water from well' days. Those are the stuff that we progress for the better at the expense of the friendly neighbourhood spirit.

Thus I had been so looking forward to vote in this election. That I even read up about the parliament because I wanted to know exactly what happens when a parliament is dissolved. Is the President in-charge then? Never really got a definite answer on that though. But I had a brief understanding of the history of Parliament.

Source: www.parliament.gov.sg

I realized in 1984, we have already started making efforts to ensure a minimum number of members from the opposition parties. And the existence of GRC is to ensure minority interest.

And then I researched purely on my own constituency. The percentage of votes for the last 2 elections and current election
68+% vs 31+%
57+% vs 42+%
72+% vs 27+%

I guess anyone can see the opposition support is the worst in this election. And many has blog/interview/analyse the reason for the swing towards PAP. In my opinion, none said it better than organising secretary Mr. Ng.

First, he said, Singaporeans had been reminded of the country's progress since Independence, by events such as the SG50 celebrations, the death of founding prime minister Lee Kuan Yew in March and the National Day celebrations in August. 

Their realisation of Singapore's progress was all the more stark in light of its neighbours' current troubles, he said.

Source: www.straitstimes.com

To say it is a biased election is unfair but some will call it that. Obviously if you have the upper hand, wouldn't you set a stage to be more favourable for yourself. Nobody likes going into a battle with the odds against oneself.

But even if the election date had not been strategically chosen. If it will be a year later (which was why I had thoughts that I could vote), the result will still be the same.

Because the petty Opposition quarrels among themselves about 3 corner fights and the disunity among themselves even though they all belong to the Other voice is getting too ridiculous for me. I once thought that voting opposition can do them the favour of getting back their deposit. But this year, if I could vote, I refuse to do that. In fact I want them to lose their deposit and wake up their idea that they are not gaining our support if they cannot clean up their acts and be a stronger party.

Which is why I totally concur with Mr. Ng last paragraph.

When asked if the ballot box result meant that Singaporeans were not in favour of a two-party system, Dr Ng replied that Singaporeans were in favour of high standards.

He said: "What voters are saying is that if you have good candidates then whether it's two, three or four parties, first of all, they must prove themselves to be credible, honest, have integrity. 

Source: www.straitstimes.com

And thus it was amusing to read that people feel that we have given PAP the true mandate as they no longer can say PAP win by walkovers. I agree on that we have indeed voted, but we have all voted because of our love of Singapore, old and new. But I'm still skeptical if we have truly supported PAP or because the oppositions have not proved their mettle. In any case, I still feel our parliament system have much to improve on.  

Meaning of Courtesy in Today's World

Because of what happen yesterday got me thinking about what is the meaning of courtesy in Today's world. A world where we have Meetup and the likes. All these online events entails one basic courtesy from us - RSVP. If we sign up to join this event and we have something last minute, courtesy entails us to change our RSVP to a 'No' (I will not be able to attend). And should we join this event but decided to leave halfway, the organisers had repeatedly mention that out of courtesy, please at least inform one of them that you had to drop out because something crop up in the middle of the event etc. I was constantly reminded of this word 'Courtesy' and how much it is valued in events like this. Why? Because it had been a rather large turnout and while the organisers are not responsible for our well-being, out of goodwill they would like to still be able to account for everybody by the end of the event.

So what if we turn the situation the other way. A letter was sent to us to inform us that a house visit will take place at a stipulated date and time. To me that is like making an appointment with me. And obviously knowing that these people put in effort and sincerity, the least I can do is to just stay at home and welcome them right? But what if they did not even turn up? And there was no notification or explanation why they couldn't make it and we were left waiting wistfully for them? Is this what courtesy entails in Today's world?

Isn't it like Chinese New Year visits where your relative calls you and let you know that they will be visiting you. Obviously time tends to be fluid because they have stagger a couple of visits along the way. And of course if they really cannot make it, they will call you and let you know so that you will not be waiting for them the whole day. That to me is basic courtesy because you could then go on with your own errands and not wait fruitlessly.

And while I do express my thoughts aloud, I know that their response will not mollify my disappointment. After all I know right from the beginning they will not make another house visit, and besides I no longer trust them to keep their promise. And I really wonder how much can I trust the next house visit letter notification I received in Today's World.

p/s: I would like to re-iterate that I appreciate the efforts of the volunteers (students & teachers & grassroot leaders) for putting the effort to deliver the package. I know that in other constituencies, people has to personally collect their own funpack. To me, I don't mind if I have to self-collect it either. My issue here is on what courtesy entails in Today's world when we receive a notification letter that a house visit will be made. And to put it into another perspective, if for e.g. the volunteers really did visit my house but I choose to ignore it and had gone out, likewise, have I been courteous and respectful of these people who made the efforts? It seems that respect is getting harder and harder to earn in Today's World. 

Hanafubuki

Hanafubuki 花吹雪...

Same sun, different angles

Reading this article awoke my blogging sense though I'm actually very sleepy by now as i was sorting out my photos to find a sunset photo... a particular sunset photo...

It was the last sunset photo I took in Melbourne during my metamorphosis process. To me, it is the most treasured process. And when DK was busy trying to find all the 'sun' spots, we start wondering what is the difference between sunrise and sunset. And which one do you love most?

I say sunrise because it is the hardest to catch. I guess I'm the type who is always up for a challenge. But the more I pondered over their differences, the more I wondered if there really was any. Was sunrise really that elusive? And I even stumped a street artist when I asked him which drawings of his were sunset photos and which were sunrise.

It turns out, sunrise or sunset, it still is the same sun, same size, just a different angle. And neither is more elusive. Especially now that I'm in Tokyo, I still haven't got a chance to see sunrise or sunset :(

So indeed like what the article mention, this video really says it best.

And I don't know what is my current Tokyo designation yet.. Will give it some thoughts some day... when I finally am out of that race that Tokyo seems to imposed on me. 

Spring cleaning 2013

This is not the end. It is not even the beginning of the end. But it is, perhaps, the end of the beginning. ~ Winston Churchill

I started this post in Nov as I was doing my spring cleaning. But I lost my train of thoughts and now I cannot find it back. So I decided to just revamp the whole post and write a summary of 2013 instead. Not because everyone else is doing so. But because I know it deep down in my heart that 2013 is different from 2012 and 2011.

I stepped into Melbourne in the year 2010 not expecting to go through what I went through for the next 3 years. And out of the 3 years, 2013 is the year which the path seems "clearer" in a sense I know I will leave Melbourne finally. Do I hate Melbourne that much? On the contrary. I love Melbourne but know that I cannot just keep repeating this daily process again and again. I needed to get out of my comfort zone. But as each day goes by, with each major events passed, I start to miss Melbourne.

Thoughts of "this is my last chance to watch the comedy festival"

or "I will miss Hosier Lane"

or "I must visit xxx place before I leave".

@ Footscray - Heavenly Queen Temple

One of the last state that I had to visit was Darwin. The only place I feel that is truly Australian. In fact this trip taught me more about Australia than my last 3 years in Melbourne. (I have always felt Melbourne more European.. and Sydney more Singaporean/Tokyo/any other big City names). Darwin on the other hand is so laid back, that I felt time seems to have stopped in Darwin.

@  Bardedjilidji sandstone walk

And before I knew it, it was winter. At that time I thought this is the last winter (for 2013) and I was going to miss it for awhile. So I embraced it twice.

Staying over at my friend's place for a weekend of cold winter...

and finally catching the husky dogs sled ride @ Mt Baw Baw. I was so happy because they cancelled on me 2 years ago and they did cancel on me again once but I managed to postpone to a doable date. Yeah!

And then it is July again. The time for fireworks at Docklands. I do have a fetish for fireworks.. I never seem to grow tired of seeing fireworks again and again.

It is also the time to move out. Bye bye to the place I almost called home after living for 2 years. I learnt a lot from household chores, to cooking, to repairing light bulb, clearing sinks, removing stains. Maintaining the house is indeed hard work.

I had 4 friends due for delivery in Oct/Nov/Dec. Funnily, I never got to meet any of the little ones because of work commitments (in SG) and because I left Melbourne by then. :( Sigh. 

Oh and I caught a musical before I flew back. A musical a year ... hmm but I think I only watched 2 musicals though haha. Annie & King Kong. 

The other "departure" experience I had was with regards to Singapore Zoo. I started volunteering since 2008 with them and had forged so many close friends throughout the years. Thus I felt sad that I had to leave them because I could no longer fulfill their basic requirements.  

After being in the SAP industry for close to 9 years, I finally get to see the SAP HQ in Germany - Walldorf. Quite an eye-opener. Though this trip was totally unexpected as I thought I would be in SG for quite a while and had planned my own holiday trip with my parents to Amsterdam. 

Thus this was quite a deja-vue because in 2009, my original europe plan was to be in Walldorf first too then head to Amsterdam. But we never continue to Belgium and London :( aww... And I still never got to see keukenhof ... *boo hoo hoo*)

As mentioned, I still had thoughts that I will be in SG long long long time.. and started to do serious spring cleaning. Clearing all the old magazine covers even. Felt so sad to throw them away as some of them reminds me of the good movies...

like this Korean movie.. which is really one of the best love drama.

Or the Singapore television serials which we used to love to watch when we were younger (and didn't know the existence of youtube etc to watch the TVB/J/K drama)

we did catch some Jap dramas too when it was the J-pop rage. Nowadays though it is the K-pop rage. Even in Japan I think k-drama are more popular than j-drama. (oops and so ya as mentioned, my so called long stay in SG was cut short when I was told to go Tokyo for a project.)

2013 is also the year where I had to bid my blackberry good bye. Another sad feeling. I do like my new HTC One but it is still a touchscreen handphone. The touch of keyboard is now lost forever :(

I'm glad though that my samsung managed to survive another one more year ++ though I had spent a small amount to revive it.

As 2013 ends and 2014 begins, I know it will begin with Tokyo. A place I find 10 times more crowded than Melbourne, 10 times busier and 10 times faster in terms of pace of walking even. I have been so spoiled in Melbourne, that I had been gasping for breath at the fast pace of life in Tokyo. Sigh.

The fast pace of life also includes thrilling pace and thus I added a roller coaster ride (on the right of the photo) before my 2013 ended. It does seem scary now that I take a second look again. But at that time, when I was at the top of the track, and I opened my eyes just to see Mt Fuji before closing it again, that was so awesome. 

And I have to thank Google+ for their awesome photo effects. Been having fun seeing what awesome effects they have automatically applied such that I don't mind backing up my photos in google+. Though I know I have to sort it out one day due to space limitations. But that probably is a 2014 task haha. (Truth is, it wasn't snowing here even though it is so so so cold. And also I never expect to experience another winter after having just bid the winter in Melbourne good bye in June.... )

As I spend my last 2 weeks in SG, and compare the crowd level while trying to be a tourist in SG (I needed to get some stuff back for client).. I told myself I shall not complain in SG cos it is 5 times better than Tokyo still haha. 

Even though I admit the Christmas illumination in SG pales in comparision than Tokyo. But I think it is at an adequate level as I still feel very much at ease back in SG. Thankfully.

And now to look forward to 2014 to give me new insights and learning experiences. :D

Is she quiet or is she not quiet?

"Butterflygalz needs to be more out-spoken"

It's been a long time since I heard this action item. Since young, every year in my report, it will always be "Butterflygalz is a hardworking girl but she is too quiet". Or "Butterflygalz needs to articulate more".

And now in the working world, where I thought as long as you do your work well, you ought to be forgiven for being quiet. Yet I am expected to "be more active during group discussions in the new project" as part of my action list.

But hasn't Susan Cain clarified that introversion is not a disease?

“If you're an introvert, you also know that the bias against quiet can cause deep psychic pain. As a child you might have overheard your parents apologize for your shyness. Or at school you might have been prodded to come "out of your shell" -that noxious expression which fails to appreciate that some animals naturally carry shelter everywhere they go, and some humans are just the same.”
― Susan Cain, Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking

I'm not a 100% introvert. I only prefer to devote my time to a few close friends who can think with me and enjoy in-depth conversations with me. And for every close friends I make, I put in 101% of my effort to keep in contact with them. And though I have been taught many times that people WILL alight from your bus journey and you may be sad to see them go, but you have to continue your quest for your holy grail. Still it hurts.

It hurts to lose a friend. Just as it hurts to be misunderstood. If there is zero correlation between being the best talker and having the best ideas, then why am I penalised for putting my best work on programs and not on presentations.

“I worry that there are people who are put in positions of authority because they're good talkers, but they don't have good ideas. It's so easy to confuse schmoozing ability with talent. Someone seems like a good presenter, easy to get along with, and those traits are rewarded. Well, why is that? They're valuable traits, but we put too much of a premium on presenting and not enough on substance and critical thinking.”
― Susan Cain, Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking

 I guess this is when CL delivered me the answer. Indirectly.

How to Develop Mental Toughness?

By being positive. By acknowledging that Quiet has its merits (which I'm still halfway into Susan Cain's book though I have watched her TedTalk and watched the RSA Shorts) I understood the yin and yang theory a long time ago. Just as I understood that I can be an ambivert. But there are some days where one feels low especially in an extrovert ideal world and being sucked dry by the "vampires" that she almost attempt to conforms just for the sake of struggling less.

“Introversion- along with its cousins sensitivity, seriousness, and shyness- is now a second-class personality trait, somewhere between a disappointment and a pathology. Introverts living in the Extrovert Ideal are like women in a man's world, discounted because of a trait that goes to the core of who they are. Extroversion is an enormously appealing personality style, but we've turned it into an oppressive standard to which most of us feel we must conform.”
 ― Susan Cain, Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking

Come to think of it, an introverted woman probably suffers twice the blow in this extrovert men's industry. So it should come as no surprise that I really was beaten up badly this time. Plus the fact my current project is going to end soon. 3 years of forged relationships and hardwork coming to an end. Let me indulge in my depression for a while more.

Next week, new challenges await me. Till then I wish more people will learn the art to interact with introverts. It cannot always be me that needs to be changed!

M for Metamorphosis and M for Melbourne

Metamorphosis
mɛtəˈmɔːfəsɪs,ˌmɛtəmɔːˈfəʊsɪs

noun: metamorphosis; plural noun: metamorphoses

1. (in an insect or amphibian) the process of transformation from an immature form to an adult form in two or more distinct stages.
"the persistence of the larval tail during metamorphosis"

a change of the form or nature of a thing or person into a completely different one.
"his metamorphosis from presidential candidate to talk-show host"

synonyms: transformation, mutation, transmutation, transfiguration, change, alteration, conversion, variation, modification, remodelling, restyling, reconstruction, reordering, reorganization, sea change;

Origin late Middle English: via Latin from Greek metamorphōsis, from metamorphoun ‘transform, change shape’.

Melbourne

Originally known as the Kulin nation, it was first occupied by 30,000 aboriginal Australians. Melbourne was the name European colonisers gave this land when they founded it in 1835.

Most importantly, Melbourne is a place where I spent 3 years learning how to survive on my own. Looking back, from my culinary skills, housekeeping skills, marketing skills etc, it felt like I was playing a game of Sims. Where my skills level will increase with practice. And then the more hours you clocked working will bring you to the next promotion. Well I only had one and it really was kind of belated, not including the fact that it does not change anything (not even monetary actually till many months later).

Hopefully I will get a chance to settle down and look through my 3 years of metamorphosis and do a photo comparison of how much I improved in my life skills. But even if I may never get that chance, I know deep down, Melbourne taught me a lot. And I'm grateful for managing to survive through this great amazing race. 

You Only Live Once

Many years ago, I happen to see an exhibit "Keep the dream alive" in the Art House Print Gallery, 3-16 November 2009.

One of the artwork by Jason jonathan Chandra says:
This girl have many dreams (ballons). Sadyly, due to some circumstances and obstacles, her dreams fly away one by one. Keep your dreams alive. Don't let it fly away...

I agree... my dreams are flying past me....

There is another artwork that I find.. queer... and yet... unique..

Carisia Chew Zixin says:
She wonders all the time why she was born a girl rather than a boy. Everything would feel more right. What if...

And you noticed that the lines were not lines... they were tiny wordings saying "I wanna be a boy".

At that time I did not thought too much of this artwork. But now that I am re-visiting it, I wondered, if she feels that way too?

Lim Nyuk Shan's inspiration was from a sponsored child in Philippines who may be stricken with poverty and confined in small quarters but embrace the chance at education and have big dreams. Like all of us do.

This was actually done by an 11 year old Goh Sher Hwyn Rebecca who hopes that the economy will recover and that competitions like these will be well-supported. Interesting thought I would say. And very sweet for a 11 year old child to think for the event organisers.

My dream is to be a cowboy living in the carefree lifestyle, says Shankar Agasthya who is only 7 years old.

Overall I did find the exhibition thought provoking especially since it was of coincidence that I got to see this exhibition. My original intention was to see the teddy bear exhibition which I did not take any photos and thus no longer have any memories of it haha. 

I also caught sight of a Dawn Kwan Art exhibition where she had her winter holiday in Switzerland. Her artwork Ski-man on Chocolate is a 2 metre art piece. I find it interesting to ski on a bucket of chocolate. Ski and Hot chocolate, the 2 major theme of Switzerland :) 

Oh here's the artwork explanation:


Ski-man On Chocolate was birthed from the artist's exuberant winter experience in Switzerland in December 2008. This 2-metre metaphoric translation took shape as a result of Dawn Kwan's first ski experience on the Matterhorn, one of the world's most famous mountains which rises 4478 metres high. Dawn is at once refreshed by icy snow slopes while skiing and comforted by her favourite hot chocolate drink after ski. Cold and hot. This fascinating theme from this 12-year old artist's imagination, like a flowing swirl, is frozen in stainless steel.

I think it must be after I see this artwork that I tell myself I must try to ski one day too? And then probably 2 years later, I did tried skiing in Melbourne, Lake Mountain. And I then told myself probably the last time to try skiing haha. But having said that, lately, I'm thinking of going back for my last winter experience in Melbourne still. I think the fact that my stint here may end soon is making me whimsical. Haha.


Anyway it's been a long time since I last visited The Arts House.

It was originally a Parliament House and gazetted as a monument on 3rd July 1992.

Designed by G D Coleman and built in 1826-1827, it was used as the Court House before the Legislative Assembly occupied it in 1954. It became the Parliament House in 1965.

In front of the building is this unique rice grain which I felt has a very strong Asian feel.

The Golden Grain: Exposed
Bronze with Patina
2008

Kumari Nahappan
Born 1953, Malaysia, Lives and works in Singapore

Kumari perpetuates the notion of preservation and promote of Nature's gifts in her sculptures of the chilli, capsicum and saga seed. The choice of these is based on their intrinsic qualities such as color (red) which symbolizes "unleashed energy and propensity for growth". She emphasizes their importance as sustenance essential to Man and amplifies their diminutive forms to gigantic proportions in her works. The Golden Grain: Exposed! follows this approach by representing a massive 3m tall grain pod. It features a physical narrative that registers a snapshot of a process - the budding of the grain. This monumental sculpture serves as a tribute to the grain, a symbol of Asia's culture and also celebrates the rejuvenation of new energy and aspirations.

S.O.P. 女王

还在看《胜女的代价》 ，但有一些经典台词想牢牢记住了。。。

也对，应该奋斗，不能就这样放弃。。

没有明天的恋情，真的会让人很累。
但若不想那么多，就冒冒让喜欢对方，真的会得到幸福吗？

这次回来又觉得变了。。这两年，都可以变这么多，哪如果真的要离开时，是不是不将认识这里了。 我只剩一年了。时间算过得快还是慢，我也不能肯定了。。。

 至于过去，就把它停留在那遥远的对面吧！

All photos from Phuket

Are these my 10 desires?

After reading Hugh McKaay's What Makes us Tick, the first and foremost desire is the desire to be taken seriously.

So that's why children loves to grow up and be taken seriously.

Then there is a desire to believe in something. Like one's belief in religion. Or like me reading my horoscope to believe in the stars...

And then there is the desire to connect. How else to explain why the strong attraction towards Facebook and blog and other social media networks. How else to explain why I'm always whatsapping my friends and being so 38  haha.

But most importantly the desire to connect to myself, the constant questions i ask .. who am I? What do I want??

I also hope to connect back to the nature. So maybe I should reply the email and hope to be able to continue my docent year for another one more year?

Next is the desire to be useful. That s why I probably work so much. Because right now, only work seems to make me feel I'm useful.

The desire to belong is probably something that I bury deep down. Because I don't seem to be able to belong anywhere. No matter how hard I try. Hmm...

Then there is greed, the desire for more. Greed can be good or bad, depends how one make use of one's greed I guess.

My friend says I have a strong desire for control. If things don't go my way, I will not be overly happy about it. Hmm... really???

Then there is the desire for something to happen. Like your next holiday trip. Hmm my desire though is for a peaceful day if possible.

Finally the desire for love. Which needs no further explanation.

But are these really my desires? Maybe my desire is to do nothing... haha..