Fear of time

Try to imagine a life without timekeeping. You probably can’t. You know the month, the year, the day of the week. There is a clock on your wall or the dashboard of your car. You have a schedule, a calendar, a time for dinner or a movie. Yet all around you, timekeeping is ignored. Birds are not late. A dog does not check its watch. Deer do not fret over passing birthdays. an alone measures time. Man alone chimes the hour. And, because of this, man alone suffers a paralyzing fear that no other creature endures. A fear of time running out. - Mitch Albom, The Time Keeper

I had visited the library in hope to find "The Girl on the Train" novel. Because the girls had wanted to watch it in the outdoor cinema but I had rejected the invite. Because some days, I still see the ghosts of yesteryears and although I know that

Holding on to things only breaks your heart 

I didn't want to erase certain memories.

And a man without memories is just a shell. 

But I couldn't find that book. Instead I found The Time Keeper by Mitch Albom. A weird story plot. But yet a very thought provoking book. And these days, I'm into weird story plots anyway. How else can I accept a mermaid that can erase memories. Or a grim reaper offering the paradise tea. Or even the almighty who cast the oblivion spell.

When you are young, you wish time will go faster. I don't know at which stage though,  I have wished for time to be slower. I wake up each day, feeling unfulfilled.

Everything man does today to be efficient, to fill the hour? It does not satisfy. It only makes him hungry to do more. Man wants to own his existence. But no one owns time. When you are measuring life, you are not living it.

I guess that is my problem. Measuring my life's existence. Thinking I own time. Forgetting that I come to this life empty handed, and I leave empty handed.

I don't know is it the thought if almighty is really that petty as Goblin portrayed was the reason for this post, or the shock from the Friday's accident at Bourke St mall that invoke me to type this post. The fear that time can be taken away from you so suddenly, 2 blocks away from where you stay.

Just as I don't know if the oblivion tea is the deity's way of showing grace? It's so you won't fall in agony at your next life. Even Legends has shown that if you retain your memories in your next life, and if you are a sinner, you will lead a very miserable second life too. Funny that all these shows philosophies can actually relate to each other in the same way.

I only wish that for all the grief that has been caused by one reckless driver, they will all be offered the paradise tea to forget the trauma they had endured. 2017 has indeed started with a very different note. Hopefully the arrival of the CNY will bring some happier notes.