Voglia

Voglia, Italian for Desires. My favourite word of the day.
So what do you truly desire?

This is something I have been wondering. What do human truly desire? Because sometimes what we desire might not be right for us. And sometimes we dare not achieve what we desire. Frankly, I dare not hope to achieve what I desire. And I'm not sure what I truly desire.

Ms Sumiko Tan getting married is a happy event. But it has also became a thought-provoking event for me. While everybody (or those who are her fans) are happy that another real-life fairy tale had taken place (seriously the plot does has elements of fairy tale in it as it transcends time, and hopefully it has a fairy tale ending of "happily ever after" too), I started wondering that this has came to no surprise on me. Years, she had written countless articles which periodically will dwell on singlehood. She may be Singapore's most famous single bachelorette, but deep down, she had shown signs that she just wish to be the typical happily married lady. And why not, if that is what she truly desire.

Which brings me to my next point, why do people have long courtship and not get married? 'US' is a big word I must say, and probably by conventions, after courtship comes marriage is a natural progression. And thus if one cannot progress to marriage, he/she must then decide the ultimate - the Break Up. But to hover in the courtship for an infinite time, is it deluding oneself? Or is that also something one truly desire? I always thought that your heart knows if the person is right for you and you don't really need to ponder too long. And truth is, Ms Sumiko did not ponder too long, proving my point that if this is the right one, and if you are serious in making the commitment, then marriage should be on the cards. So why is marriage not on the cards for some of the other couples?

Maybe I was too rational? Which is a sin to be when you are in a relationship. They say being too rational, you do not love that person more, or maybe you don't even love him at all. There were times I would argue back on this point, but what is the use when it has been proven that being rational will indeed made one wakes up from the fairy tale and gives reality a serious thought. Rationality does not equate to feelings. But irrationality does indeed make you more reckless and show what your heart truly desires. So I don't argue with people who blame it on irrationality for liking a person more. But I feel, whether you are rational or irrational, the amount of feelings you have for someone has already been decided... since the day the red string has been attached to the two of you. And that is what your heart truly desire to risk.

So back to the big question, what do you truly desire?

忍不住 想要愛你的衝動
不確定你屬於我 會有點寂寞
你給的幸福 在我心中自由走動
撫平我每一個傷口
忍不住 想要吻你的衝動
不確定我的執著 能讓你感動
我只能相信自己感受 不怕失落
關於你的一切 我想要比誰都懂

你是情人 還是朋友
還沒勇氣 想得太多
你的世界 如此遼闊
我會在哪個角落
- extracted from 蕭亞軒 - 衝動
p/s: don't know why, I just felt it was quite apt for someone whom had just "argued" with me about irrationality making her feel foolish. Actually in life, sometimes being reckless and stubborn is the key to find out the answer. Which is why I am currently in a reckless and stubborn mode (not forgetting being in a secretive mode too).
pp/s: this post was actually written on 12th Aug 2010.
ppp/s: got reminded of the vertical marathon once again. And once again, I'm sure I will not repeat it (oh ya I have not blogged on the NLB vertical marathon... will do so after a few more drawings).. I will once again re-iterate my favourite lines
逃到很远的地方前
先逃到很高的地方
And re-iterate that my heart desires lie in going somewhere faraway, as faraway as I can reach. An escapist at heart. That is what my heart truly desires. Anyway I repeated alot of vertical marathons this year, in Italy and in NLB.