I want to leave this red dot

Source: Ian on the red dot

I like this blogger's opinion. I was googling for "I want to leave Singapore" and randomly chose his site to read.

I don't hate Singapore.
I don't hate PAP. I may not agree with certain ministers' policies but I don't see eye-to-eye with Thailand or Taiwan or even Malaysia politics on the same level.
And I agree there are far too many gaping holes in our policies making us feel like 2nd class citizens in Singapore.
But I don't complain to the extent that I hate Singapore and want to leave Singapore for good.

No, as I said years ago, I will never give up my citizenship.
But I have to re-locate. It is a must. And it has become something I really feel should be done now since I lost my job 5 months ago.

But I kept hitting the wall. If Randy Paush's "Brick walls are there for a reason: they let us prove how badly we want things. Because the brick walls will stop those people who do not want it badly enough." is true, then this brick wall that I faced is tearing all my guts and resolve off.

Today I ping an ex-colleague again. Somehow I don't know too many foreigners. And I don't click very closely with many that I know. But we once touched on a topic of career because I was vexed about the question "career goal" then. And his words that he does not have any career objective remained fresh in my mind. Because I don't have any. So I thought maybe he can understand me better. Plus the fact that he left his country and settle in SG for so many years. He ought to be able to understand why I want to leave SG.

But... he proved me wrong when he said this line "you guys never live long outside your country and always think other countries are better than yours".

I agree I never live long outside my country.
But I disagree that other countries are better than mine.
No, there is no way to compare if UK has better prospects or NZ is good for retirement. How can you compare an apple with an orange.

But I have this concept lately. That people from other countries may have grow up in villages, travel far to the city area to study and work. But to me, travelling to the city to work is just an hour's ride. I feel and fear that I will never grow up. And I will just settle and become the typical Singaporeans who whine but who will never take action to improve their situation.

So, I don't want to settle. Which is why I realised, when I actually dared to ask for a 2 weeks extension, I actually am willing to lose this job. In other words, I did not really want this job keenly. Because I don't want to settle?

Overseas exposure is over-rated.
I agree.
But I still want to go overseas.
Because I have to.

Anyway I'm unsure if we ended the conversation pleasantly. Because he said I refuse to tell him anything and I agreed that my friend yesterday already said I am a predictable enigma. So shouldn't be too hard to guess still right? I'm not going to prove my friend wrong or prove this guy anything anyway.

But I want to thanks him nonetheless. Because he is right to say I must first clearly define what are my expectations in overseas.
So my expectation towards overseas ... is no expectation. I am that simple a person. No career objective in mind, no expectations in life. I may seem like a drifter but I have a direction I need to head.

Anyway there is a possibility I will take this offer even though I did not like their culture (on settling down and over-rated overseas). Because there is a particular genre in their target audience which will help me understand that industry better. They might be the stepping stone to this area. And so I may have to make use of them. That is unless my dream job reply me within these 2 weeks.

p/s: Was just told I was over-qualified for a SAP position (the 2nd time I heard it already.. and is SAP again..). Another clear indicator that it is time for SAP and I.. to go our separate paths.