Random Muse

My friend has been counting down.. to bonus. Funny though that doesn't interest me at all other than for the sake of conversing. It is not that I'm not interested, just that it made me realise a lot of things, and remember somethings.

Ever since the beginning of the month, those close to me know I changed. The demoralising lab and the "death" changed me totally. The realisation that it is March. The IT show which I went twice on a spur of moment and yet not daring to face its crowd at all. And the promise I made to GA a year ago.

It's funny when someone told me he is in reclusive mood. It's even more weird that I couldn't even bring myself to tell him that I share the same sentiments. I just let that moment passed. Because I no longer tell much people what my thoughts are. DK said I don't want to talk about myself. Which I agree.

Lately the phrase "修身养性" constantly float into my mind. It had started since the beginning of the month. Because of this phrase, I just keep reminding myself to keep to myself, to read more books, to just indulge in myself, and to limit contact with the outside world. And as the days go by, I get more and more brain tired, I will just knocked out when night falls. Except tonight...

I think it was Rene Liu who said that sometimes when you wish someone well, deep inside you don't sincerely wish him/her well 100%. There is definitely some elements of jealousy or envy. If that is the case, I will avoid him at all costs. I don't want to congrats him only to have a teeny bit of jealousy in my heart. I seek only to be true and sincere to my heart. I listen only to my heart.

Yes it hurts.. deep down. But I really do wish him well. Because that is what I promise GA.