Random Saturday musing

This post became a random musing because I am too lazy to write separate posts on the different themes that came into my mind on Saturday.

Saturday was the last leg for the project. Woke up at 4 a.m. to try to catch the early bus but because it was too early, my brain worked slower than usual and I only caught the bus at around 5.30.

While walking to school, I was peeking at the hostels, wondering about the sleeping occupants when I suddenly recall a certain simple gesture I had received in my brief hostel stay. A friend had asked me a few weeks ago, if simple gesture and elaborate gesture will score the same points in a female’s perspective. In other words, if he had given the girl a diamond ring (with sincerity), and if he had given the girl something simple but with the same amount of sincerity, will the girl be equally touched? I cannot remember what my response was then, but while walking, I realized, yes the girl will be equally touched. So even if the courtship has been simple, I am grateful that it had touched my heart before. (i.e. it means I should not complain haha)

As I reached school early, I continue to rehearse my speech. Maybe it is the final presentation, maybe it is due to my own principles, I decided to try to practice what I want to present later on even though my project mates were disturbing me on my budget speech. As usual though, whatever I memorized is never the same as what I presented. Sigh I do wonder if my “mentors” saw me again, will my lack of improvement be of any surprise to them?

The presentation went on relatively smoothly which is a blessing, considering the hiccup before that. The funny thing is whenever there is administrative problem pertaining to the lab, the security guard always want us to find the lecturers to resolve it. I fully understand that it is their job to ensure security thus if the lab should not be open for lessons, indeed they have to ensure it. What makes me unhappy is the fact that they are a better person to contact the lecturers to verify if what we say is true but they always push it to us to resolve it ourselves. Anyway my project mate managed to get one of the lecturer (luckily she came in sufficiently early) and we were allowed to use the lab in peace.

Since I’m in school, I thought of heading to the lab only to find out I do not have access. And the only reason is because I’m not a SOC student. Seriously, I am quite pissed by the administrative issues involved for this last semester to the extent I just wanted to give up studying already. First was the waiting list issue where in the end they just forced me to take a module I have no confidence in (though I admit it is my fault to have put it as part of the selection, should have just leave it blank except that day I filled up the form in a sick mode.. sighz my own doing). And now I am unable to access any part of the SOC building other than level 2.

Xi xiong had said that we are treated like 2nd class citizen because of the preferential treatment they gave to the SE students… but I feel we are like 3rd class citizen because the highest priority goes to the SOC students. And I realised the reason why I feel so unhappy over such treatment, is because I once was a SOC student and did not have to put up with such treatment. With this realisation, I guess I kinda gave up and just hope for May to come.

Anyway I guess denying me access that day is a good thing because I ended up guiding my classmate to NUS co-op so that he can buy his book. Also “taught” him know another route to take bus home especially since he has a direct bus from there actually.

Oh and I caught an old TCS show while in gym. The title is “公公,你的名字很难叫” which is a meaningful show. The part that I caught was about an elderly whose children refuse to let him stay with them, and he also has no wish to stay with any of them (and see their black face). In the end one of the lady (I suspected is his daughter-in-law) suggested putting him into an old age home saying from where she come from (she’s a foreigner), usually elderly will just automatically register themselves into nursing home and not impose on the children. It is of coincidence that DOC had mentioned this situation to me just a few days ago.

Indeed the different mentality of the East and the West. I guess filial piety is still strongly valued here thus it is not going to be easy to send your parents to nursing home when they are old without being subjected to criticisms. Plus the fact that our government is not very open to that concept either given the certain regulations imposed. But if I’m in that situation, I hope to be put into an old age home too. In fact the one near my house would be a good place for me to enjoy my remaining days.

I also happen to read an article on singles on v-day and am tickled by this response:

I always keep in mind what Creative’s chief executive officer, Mr. Sim Wong Hoo, said when the question about marriage is raised with him.
His answer: If he were to marry, the marriage had to be more successful than his career. It is a view I share.

Haha stressor, are you reading this “p

I guess the crux of my Saturday though, should be my visit to the temple. As I did not go lab, I reached Bugis earlier than intended and decide to head to the temple and pray before the CNY. My journey there had been troubled though as I told my classmate my worries. Although he had advised me to try to see if can change to another module or drop it, but there is little he can help. Haha he is just thankful that he managed to get rid of his EE module. Glad for him!

Thus with a heavy heart I stepped into the temple. Guess this must be one of those rare times that I asked God for her guidance instead of the usual standard fare. Although I left the temple with the same unsettled feelings, but while I was in gym, I toyed with the idea of sacrificing my work performance again. I guess it might really be the last resort as I really don’t wish to extend my studies. But I feel sad that I had took 2 years to build up my work performance, only to let my studies affect it, especially when this year is a critical year for me. And yet if I don’t put in extra effort, I will spoil my own academic record which I had worked very hard for the past 2 years. If I had given up last year, I wouldn’t feel so upset but since I choose to persist, I did not want history to repeat itself again. No wonder there is a saying that “you cannot have your cake and eat it”.

And with it, I ended my Saturday somewhat depressed, somewhat “enlightened”, and somewhat hopeful that everything will turn out well by May so that I may have time to salvage something?

<-- Bought this bear for a friend when she grad 3 years ago. Saw the photo yesterday and decide to use it to remind myself that I will grad in 3 months time...