Girl Seeks Bliss

Sites:
Girl Seeks Bliss Excerpt
www.buddhanet.net
www.spirit-of-tibet.co.uk
www.wildmind.org
www.ecopractice.fwbo.org
www.shambhalasun.com
www.urbandharma.org
www.mindandlife.org

I read “Girl Seeks Bliss” by Nicole Beland last year before I got busy with my FYP and exams. However I am only reviewing it now so that I can write my next post “p.

This book is about Buddhist philosophy for 20-30+ ladies. It is interesting to note that Buddhism doesn't have much in common with most other major religions. There is no all-knowing, all-powerful deity to worship. Buddha never claimed to be a god or to believe in any gods. If a person acts with intelligence and compassion, good things are likely to come her way. If she acts with ignorance and carelessness, then her life will tend to be difficult and unpleasant. This is the natural, universal law.

Buddha taught that the only way to know anything for sure was to experience it yourself. As for questions e.g. where all life comes from or what happens when we die, they might be fine subjects to ruminate on but there is no point getting all riled up over the unknown as it will not free ourselves from suffering and enjoy life at its present.

Noble Truth

1. Life isn’t easy for anyone. Suffering is a natural part of existence.

2. Suffering is caused by unnecessary craving. Examples are those serious cravings e.g. wishing that a relationship did not end, or wishing for the past or a different body, a different life. We have to know what makes us unhappy to defeat it.

3. There is a way to reduce, and even end, suffering – by training ourselves to be more content on a regular basis.

4. Eight basic guidelines for living the good life, otherwise known as the eightfold path


Eightfold path

1. Right Understanding – opening our eyes and perceiving the world as it is, rather than as we might expect, hope or fear it will be. Expectations whether positive or negative are a huge cause of everyday suffering. They distort what we see and hear and make it incredibly difficult to approach an experience with clarity or openness. Part of attaining right understanding is realizing how expectations can and do make our lives much more difficult. While it’s ok to plan or think ahead, it’s never a good idea to convince ourselves that things are guaranteed to be one way or the other. When we stay open to the theory that whatever happens happens, we feel less vulnerable and more at ease. Things don’t upset us so easily. Right understanding also requires that we ponder 3 basic ideas about life known as the 3 marks of existence

a. Impermance – nothing in this world is fixed or unchanging – no thing, no thought, no emotion. Because of this, it is pointless to try to grasp, or hold on to anything material or immaterial. Instead, we should be open to things as they happen, accept them for what they are and let them go when they pass.

b. No self – Every individual’s identity is also constantly changing and in transition. Our minds and bodies are an amazing collection of cells and energy in perpetual motion.

c. The source of suffering – to fail to realize that the first 2 marks of existence are true will cause unhappiness and dissatisfaction because we will continue to want the world to be other than what it is


2. Right intentions = approaching Buddhism, and life in general with the desire to overcome our own suffering and prevent the suffering of others.

Right thoughts because Buddha taught that thoughts are the origins of all intentions. In his words

Mind is the forerunner of all things. If you act based on kindness and wisdom in the mind, happiness will follow you like the wheel of a chariot follows the ox which draws it. And if you act based on unkindness or you act from an unwise state of mind, then unhappiness follows just as the wheel of the cart follows the ox which draws it.

3. Right speech – examine our impact on the world, starting with what we say. Speak positively.


4. Right action – sometimes we do the right thing to different degrees, depending on how much of our own comfort we’re willing to sacrifice

a. Do not speak dishonestly
b. Do not take what isn’t given to or meant for you
c. Do not kill other living things or ask that they be killed for you
d. Do not engage in sexual activity that might harm you or others
e. Do not become intoxicated to the point where you can’t control your speech or actions


5. Engage in right livelihood. Having a job that does not cause harm to living things.


6. True effort – a reminder to try and face every new moment with energy and vitality because keeping our minds front and centre can be hard work. If we consider the eightfold path a list of ideals to value highly and do our best to realize when and how we can, we can’t go wrong.


7. Right mindfulness – how paying close attention to what we thing and what we do is to the practice of Buddhism. Buddha taught that the reason we’re so often unhappy is because we don’t see things as they really are. We are too caught up in our own perceptions, too distracted by our memories of the past and our hopes for and expectations of the future, as well as by endlessly guessing at what other people in our lives are thinking and doing. All of this makes it impossible for us to just BE. Our minds have the ability to work like blender and without realizing it, we constantly hold down the button marked ‘puree’ causing our thought and impressions to spin out of control at such a high speed that they become wildly mixed up and distorted. That’s why when you’re sitting there mulling over your life as well as what’s going on in the rest of the world and someone asks you what you’re thinking about, you can’t come up with a single thing. Mindfulness is being aware of our thoughts, our words, our actions and is very difficult to maintain some of the time. Meditation is mindfulness training. Simply pay attention to what’s going on around us right here, right now – to focus all five of our sense front and centre.


8. Right contemplation. Staying focused and thinking deeply. Major goal of Buddhism is to develop the ability to stay connected to the present moment, so is intelligently pondering the big picture. Contemplating different aspects of life – the past, present, the future, your community, the world, art, music, the sciences etc at different times, as is appropriate and helpful. It’s wise to give careful, focused thought to what it is we want for the world, for ourselves and for the people we love. Buddha means awakened one. An awake person is very aware and that awareness leads to intelligent, productive actions. Ability to view the world in both practical and absolute terms. In absolute terms, a Buddhist looks at the world and sees that nothing in it – not a person or a thing or a feeling – is solid or definite. Right contemplation suggest that we always keep in mind the simultaneous mysteries and practicalities of life. We are always changing and can be perceived hundreds of different ways. A sister to one, a friend to another.


How to meditate?
Sit quietly, your body still, your speech silent, your mind at ease and allow thoughts to come and go, without letting them play havoc on you

Stop obsessing. The basic Buddhist meditation chant is om mani padme hum (pronounced om mani padmay hum). Chant it over and over again.



The Tao of taking things in stride
1. Open up
2. Inhale the bad
3. Exhale the good

Yin and yang represent the natural duality of all things. Yin is the feminine element that represents darkness, receptivity and softness. Yang is the male element that represents activity, light, and harshness. The small amount of the other contained in each is symbolic of the idea that each element carries the seed of its opposite and can therefore change into that opposite.

• Balance out areas with a lot of electronics or metal by placing green, leafy plans nearby.
• Hang colourful paintings on white walls and black and white photographs on coloured walls
• Create a single area in every room that your eyes will be naturally drawn to first
• Store small easily scattered things like coins or jewellery in solid, heavy containers
• Place bright colourful objects in dark corners
• Don’t pack bookshelves tightly. Leave open spaces
• Use cool colours e.g. whites, light blues and greens in rooms that get an excess of sunlight; use warm colours e.g. reds, oranges, yellows in rooms that are often cold
• Your bedroom should be the simplest, sparest room in your house. There should be nothing in it that makes you think of work or stress
• Mirrors are a good way to add metal to a room that has too much earth
• A layer of stones in a small bowl makes a perfect soap dish and helps balance the element of water in the bathroom
• A single flower or branch can be far more soothing to look at than a giant bouquet


3 ways money can make you happy

1. We shouldn’t become so attached to our possessions that the thought of losing them, or not being able to get more stuff in the future, causes us to suffer. And we should never be under the illusion that having a lot of stuff makes us a better, more attractive, more interesting, or more worthwhile person because, again, that will lead to all sorts of stress and worry about whether we’ll ever have enough. But if we can possess things lightly, enjoying them but not holding on to them too early, then having money to buy material goods can be a wonderful thing.
2. Completely free of debt.
3. To give to charity and help other people


It’s not the nature of our job that makes us happiest, it’s working hard that gives us pleasure. The moments when we’re dissatisfied with our jobs are usually when we’re doing our work in a half-assed way or not at all – we’re procrastinating, unfocused, worrying about getting it done, confused about what we’re even trying to do, or multitasking to the point of madness. But when we’re actually fully engaged in a single aspect of our work, no matter what the work is, we develop this sort of happy buzz. The best way to be happier with your job is to get into it. Don’t just sit there at your desk, or allow yourself to go on automatic pilot. Really be there, and put true effort into completing the task at hand to the best of your ability.


Work on breaking the habit any time you feel a desire or dissatisfaction during your daily life. Instead of altering the situation right away, wait a while. Hang out and just deal. Be bored. Be hungry. Be hot. Tolerate a yucky smell, or an annoying sound. Force yourself to face something you’d usually just run away from. After several minutes go ahead and make whatever change you want. By riding out an unpleasant situation, you learn that you don’t always need to chase or avoid things. You already have the ability to be OK no matter what’s going on around you; you just need to wake up and realize it.  I am still unable to withstand the cigarette smell. Sigh! But I am taught not to be too harsh on myself. Guess it is the comfort level and this is really way out of my comfort level.


Own less to stress less


If you knew what I know about the power of giving, you would not let a single meal pass without sharing it in some way


It’s good to put aside some money for the future, but if you focus most of your time and energy on constantly preparing for the next phase of life, you’re making a grave mistake.


I know nothing which brings suffering as does an untamed, uncontrolled, unattended, and unrestrained heart. Such a heart brings suffering.

I know nothing which brings joy as does a tamed, controlled attended and restrained heart. Such a heart brings joy.


The Buddhist way is first to distance ourselves from what’s causing us trouble. If we can’t distance ourselves physically, we can do so mentally. This gives space in which to study the cause of our distress.
- Venerable Adrienne Howley, author of the Naked Buddha


Do not pursue the past.
Do not lose yourself in the future.
The past no longer is.
The future has not yet come.
Looking deeply at life as it is
In the very here and now,
The practitioner dwells
In stability and freedom.


Are you quiet?
Quiet your body.
Quiet your mind.
By your own efforts
Waken yourself,
Watch yourself,
And live joyfully.