Happily Single

Eugene Loh, A Slice of Life, 938LIVE, a station of MediaCorp Radio

More and more people in their 30's or 40's have never been married and are yearning to settle down and start a family.

If you fall into this group, how does it make you feel? Frustrated? Are you longing to be a father? Have you lost hope that you will ever find someone to settle down with and spend the rest of your life with? Do you have a lot of friends, but you still feel lonely and long for true love and companionship with a life long partner?

Well, you don't need to be married and have a family to make your life complete, happy and worthwhile. Yes, there is joy in that, but it doesn't mean that without it your life is doomed to emptiness. Many people fall into the trap of believing in that certainty.

It's a big mistake to depend on someone else to complete your life and bring you happiness. Being happy is D-I-Y. Depending on someone else for your happiness is handing over control and responsibility to that person. Which not only puts you in a wobbly situation, it's unfair to the other party.

Marriage and a family is not the only key to your eternal happiness. The fact that many marriages end in divorce should give you a clue that marriage does not guarantee happiness.

Don't get me wrong. Marriage is a wonderful institution as long as you find the right mate. Marriage is very a serious matter and you should not jump into marriage prematurely because you think you're getting older and it's time to settle down.

Even if you insist that there is someone for you, and you will find him or her eventually, that doesn't mean that the world has to stop turning in the meantime. You can find happiness and fulfillment in other areas besides romantic relationships.

A good way to find meaning and satisfaction is to become involved in helping others through charity organizations, volunteer work, community activities, working for political causes, helping the needy and so on. It can be extremely rewarding. Besides, it's a great way to meet people too and learn about their lives, their motivations, their problems and their ways of solving them. This helps put your own troubles into perspective.

Author’s comments:
Seeing long lost friends engaged in Facebook can sometimes prove quite shocking. Of course the first thing I do is to congratulate them. But maybe because Facebook overwhelms me at times, that suddenly I was asking myself certain questions. Questions that I had abandoned when I chose my path. No way am I going to give up on this dream, thus the only way out is to hope something comes along while I am on THIS path. I don’t wish to compromise, it’s either have or don’t have. Maybe I’m just tired of certain elements.