Undesirable Desire

Source : Eugene Loh, A Slice of Life, 938LIVE, a station of MediaCorp Radio

Desire is impossible to pigeonhole. It's a tricky topic to pin down because desire need not be a bad thing.

Without desire, we wouldn't be enjoying a lot of the modern conveniences today. Without desire, we would not have the pleasure of experiencing positive actions. Desire is important because it motivates us towards becoming something better than what we are now. It drives us also to make things better for the people we care about.

But like most things in life, desire has a dark side. Desire can lead to feelings of covetousness and envy. It can blind us to the pain and suffering of others because we are so focused on our goal. Desire can lead us to see people as objects and make objects seem more important than people.

I'm sure you can think of plenty of examples where desire has led to tragedy or suffering; literature and the media are littered with them - the father who refuses to let his children fulfill their dreams because he has his own plans for them, the lover who relentlessly pursues the object of his desire even though no genuine love exists between them, the power-hungry politician, the man who covets a married woman, and so on.

Desire can also be a problem when it makes us want things which are unattainable or inaccessible. The person who desires say, a BMW, but only makes less than $2,000 a month may find the quality of his life somewhat diminished due to the lack of that particular car. The problem is compounded when the person actually goes ahead and buys the car, and ends up either exhausting his life savings or struggling every month to pay the installments.

There is nothing fundamentally wrong with desire. Desire can inspire us to greater love and selflessness. It can motivate us to improve ourselves. But if the things we want are unattainable, we must be able to accept it. We all can get what we want, if we can just want what we get.

As Donald Horban once said, "We don't need to increase our goods nearly as much as we need to scale down our wants. Not wanting something is as good as possessing it."

Bflygal's comments:
I really wonder does Slice of Life reads my mind? I was "arguing" with my friend just yesterday that dreams do not change you. If it changes you, it is not your path; it is not your dream. However I couldn't find the right word to replace what he was referring to. About a person who has been dreaming for a certain career path and that after attaining it, she changed to become more realistic (in a not so warm way). Then I read this article and found the word – Desire.

It is a fine line between dreams and desires. But I firmly believe that a dream is a calling from something deep inside you. It personifies you. It does not change you. Desire, on the other hand, is something you wish to emulate. Thus you will be changed to satisfy your desire.

Some says changes have good or bad. To me, I believe it is just the side effects aka there is no good change or bad change. A person turning more soft-hearted (after being callous for so long) might be good news, might also be bad news. He gains some, he loses some. It all boils down to what you really desire, what you really want, what you really dream of. That’s life!