D for Diary...

I did something “evil” today. Haha … maybe because my friend had bought me proper lunch today, and I felt like reading something light while eating that I suddenly thought of that link.

Honestly, it was not my fault. A few weeks ago, my classmate was tracing his past. And he suddenly chanced upon his diary. Supposedly, the only person excited to find tat link should be the owner. It’s like if I did my spring cleaning and find my diaries, I will be super enthusiastic and stopped spring cleaning. But if I found my brother’s diary, most probably it depends on whether I’m in a mood to read or not.

However he mentioned that he should take down that site. Haha, that perked me up because of my stupid mentality of always wanting to watch streamed videos instead of what I already have. (That is why as I always buy DVD but seldom watch what I bought) So if I know something will cease to exist, I will be curious to read it. So I read that site immediately… but lost interest after a while. After all it seems weird to read someone’s “diary” while the owner is just besides you even though this diary is a public diary. And I was supposed to be studying.

So why did I ventured into the forbidden link again. Because I was curious to see if it got taken down hahaha. And because I was bored and wanted to read something interesting. Maybe is because I realised this person has some very interesting perspectives and I wondered if 5 years ago, what kind of thoughts have arose to make him who he is now.

I can only say our past really make us. Reading it, I suddenly missed my diary too. I used to call my diary Dear Diary… and starts asking if it misses me as I did not write for sometime etc… to me my Diary is like a person whom I can talk to and confide in (which is its main purpose anyway). But I stopped writing 7 years ago due to some reasons. I thought maybe if I don’t write it down, I don’t remember stuff haha. But I guess memories can’t be erased just like that. Then I had MemJ, for a different reason. I think it came into my life about 3 years ago. Unfortunately I never managed to keep a proper update of it. And now, it has lost its significance too. Anyway, after that, I started blogging which is a kind of diary too. Just that the contents and writing style is different. Come to think of it, I have never given my blog a name. But hmm lately I keep thinking what is a name afterall hahaahh.

Anyway the forbidden zone had something that inspired me.

1. Quoted: “A special friend who asked me yesterday why I took certain things rather seriously. I guess it’s because I believe in fate. However, when fate come knocking on one's door, I believe one had to work for it and grab it or it will slip away.”
>> Something that had been bugging me these few months. I have been questioned why am I so serious… why I cannot lighten up. Then I thought maybe I really should instill a heck-care attitude especially towards certain people certain things. But try as hard as I could, I am still in a semi-serious attitude. If it is because I believed in fate and yet have to work hard for it, which leads me to my seriousness then can angel please tell me what is my actual fate? So that I can be serious for the right matters.

2. Quoted:
The anatomy of the Human ear. There are three parts. The outer and middle ear are air filled. The middle ear has labyrinth of mucous membrances around the ossicles. The ossicles have tendons attached to muscles for gain-reducing reflex. The third part which is the inner ear & it is fluid filled. Its semi-circular canals act as accelerometers, sensing the balance. The pinna (outer ear)which is what we normal call our ear, involves with the perception of sound direction. The ear canal (outer ear), which is the part just before the ear hole, gives protection from impact. The eardrum, which is inside (middle ear) and a term that we are familiar with, converts sound to mechanical vibrations. The ossicles which is the three tiny bones that connects the ear drum to the cochlea, provides impedance matching. The cochlea (inner ear) the 2 and 3/4 turn spiral which connects to our nerves fibres that send electro-chemical signals to the brain.
>> Oh I posted this because I know my DOC will like to read this part and maybe she will comment on it even. Haha.. Anyway this anatomy lead my classmate to believe there is a purpose for everything…. DIAOZ. I mean I realised that since I was age… ten maybe?? Hahaha. Sometimes I think I am an animist. I believe in souls of everything living or non-living. So I believe in the purpose of everything. Has to do with my belief in Yin-Yang too.

3. Quoted: “Should we first do the things that we ought to do or do the things that we want to do ?”
>> If we do the things we ought to do, will we delay the things we want to do? If we do the things we want to do, will we get to do it actually? Or because we did not do the things we ought to do, thus it had obstruct us from doing the things we want to do. Did I sound confusing?? Simply state, I believed in just doing what you think you should do. A bit of heart, a bit of head to decide for you. Because everything I do, I believe it will lead me to somewhere. (I remember I did not sound convincing when I told him but hey, I really believed in it k!)

4. Quoted a story :
There was this couple, say Mr Passionate and Ms Pragmatic. They were lovers. However, Mr Passionate got posted overseas for a year.
Despite being busy at work, he wrote letters to her every single day. And eventually....
Eventually she married to Mr Postman instead.
>> Inspired me because I remember a movie with a similar story line. But I can’t remember the movie now… Posted it because DOC was mentioning about LDR a few days ago… (Should I call DOC, DOC ah.. I scared I stressed her leh)

5. Quoted : “I detested it when people start comparing me with others. I am just doing what I liked. I dont even know the weightage of each individual paper, nor the weightage for my project. Just do my best is my policy..”
>> Sure or not? If so why always join in the rubbish talk with your good buddy on how clever I am when I am not clever at all. I think I say 100 times, a 1000 times I really don’t know how I got my grades, you guys will not believe and just keep laughing about it. If I was younger 10 years, I think I will just breakdown. I hate to be compared since primary school. I don’t know is it luckily or unluckily but only in my university days, did my grades actually don’t look that good. And nobody starts saying I’m smart… which actually makes me at peace with myself finally. Sighz and I know I am lucky. I am reminded countless of times that I am lucky not like him. Maybe is because of his countless “taunts” on my luck that had hardened me… and I can withstand what my classmates do to me. But sometimes, just sometimes, please remember I am but a simple girl who hates to be compared and who is just doing things out of interest or necessity. I may have worked hard for certain things, or my family had worked hard for certain things, or maybe it is my past life that allowed me for certain good fortune, all of which I’m really grateful and feels that I really do not deserve it. I just hope I can repay back what I owe. It is really a huge debt…

I hope I did not divulged too much on my classmate though.. else he might just silenced me.