Driving in the Rain

I used to love rain. Not that I don't love rain anymore, I still do. But recently, rain gives me a new emotion, a feeling of fear.

This new feeling was first evoked last Wednesday. That was the first time I drove home late because I had aerobics. By the time I completed, it was after 7. And it was raining. Heavily.

The sky was dark, the roads were wet, and the rain patters intermittently. Sometimes the rain lightens, and I will be relieved because vision becomes clearer. Then I will hit upon another part of the road where it starts raining cats and dogs and I immediately switch to mindful state. Because I really just want to reach home safe and sound to pass the car back to my dad.

Before I reached my exit, an accident had happened. Sighz. I never knew that road accidents were so common till I started to drive too. Maybe I was never conscious of the road conditions in the past. As usual, drive slowly; try to get out of the accident lane. And finally I reach home safe and sound. Almost. While changing lane, I had almost miscalculated. Luckily all of us were driving slowly. That is when this new feeling came in. This feeling of fear.

2 days ago, while driving to work, I had once again encountered an accident. This time it happens on a curved road. Every time I reach such a road and where I can't really see what is in front, I will not step the accelerator. Because my dad told me there might be something in front that blocks me and if I speed, I will not have sufficient time to react. And that day, 2 vehicles had indeed collided, blocking one of the lane. While I pass by them, I was thinking thank goodness I was not speeding. I guess it had been raining a while ago thus maybe the vehicle skidded or something.

Today, the rain was in its scary state again. At first it started small and I thought I should be able to drive safely to work. Halfway down the journey, it became a torrential state. And once again vision was hazy for me. I guess I must be the type of person who wants perfect vision. And driving in hazy vision can really freak me out. This feeling of blindness, where you are just lead on by your gut feeling. And one must drive super slowly because of the unsure state of the vehicles in front of you. In fact sometimes I feel the car is driving, not me. Haha!

Thinking back, I guess the fear feeling aroused because I’m driving alone. For so many years, I drove with my dad besides me. I kind of got used to asking him for advices on how to react in certain road conditions. The first time I drove myself to work, I felt fear too. And I sms my parents to tell them I reach work already. Haha. That was half a year ago already. Now with the rainy season, it is a new set of road condition that I never encountered before, thus I once again became unsure of myself.

Anyway rain might bring me fear recently, but I still love rain. Because of rain, I have new driving experiences. I wouldn’t say I learn something new but seriously; driving with low visibility is something refreshing (albeit scary).