Afterthoughts of Commencement 2005

A year ago, I was worried that I cannot find a permanent job.
A year ago, everything seems blur and yet hopeful.
A year ago, I was just enjoying my own commencement ...

Today, I am congratulating my friends' graduation.
Today, I am holding a permanent job.
Today, I am asking around how's the job market ...

And the job market seems even better than before.
And the job offers sounds even more lucrative.
And I wonder about the job I am holding ...

Then I was thinking how time flies.
Then I was wondering how much I have accomplished.
Then I was finding what are my life goals ...

I came to conclude that I should find my path soon.
I came to decide that whatever decisions I made will affect my future.
I came to realise that I am lost ...

If only work does not sap my energy.
If only I am more clear-headed.
If only my guardian angel can light a candle for me ...

All is not lost though.
All over the world, I am not the only lost sheep.
All around me, I can still feel life's fervour ...

THE SECRET GARDEN ACT I
IT'S A MAZE


BEN
Plant a hedge, cut it back
Dig a hole, try to fill it
Plant a rose, tie it back
Find a mole, try to kill it

It's a maze, this garden, it's a maze of ways
Any man can spend his day
It's a maze, this garden, it's a maze of paths
But a soul can find the way

For an old man knows, how a year it goes
How the cold hard ground in the spring comes 'round
How the seeds take hold and the ferns unfold
How an English garden grows

MARY
Skip, skipped the ladies to the master's gate
Sip, sipped the ladies while the master ate
Tip, toed the chambermaids and stole their pearls
Snip, snipped the gardener and cut off their curls

DICKON
Come along, love, come fly away, fly along
Come along, fly away home
Come along, love, you've come a long way
You've flown all the day, come fly away home

BEN
Miss a step, trip and fall
Miss the path, meet the wall
Miss the way, miss a turn
Gettin' lost's how you learn

It's a maze, this garden, it's a maze of paths
Meant to lead a man astray
Take a left, and then, turning left again's
How the soul can find the way

For an old man knows, how a year it goes
How the cold hard ground in the spring comes 'round
How in time it shows how a garden grows
How an English garden grows
How the roses climb
How sublime the time
When an English garden grows

The long bus journey

Recently I was taking a long bus journey from the east to the west, and was appreciating the scenery the bus takes me too. In this almost 2 hours trip, I actually felt peace with myself. Something I haven't felt for a long time. I become more aware of my surrounding. And I was brought back to my past... where I used to encounter such feelings too...

When I was studying pursuing for my Degree, I used to travel long MRT trips to attend classes. Those days, if classes started at 8am sharp, I would be trying to catch the 6.30am train.

And when lessons end at 6pm, to avoid the rush hour, I would rather stay in school till 9pm and take the pretty empty home bound train.

I never fancy the morning trains. They were bustling with activity, packed and crowded. To me it seems like a blur of events, with goggy pandas lacked of sleep trying to survie in this rat race. All the rushing, the pushings to get on the train to cut down many one-tenth seconds, and not so that they could reach their destination early, but to maintain their pace and get on time. Makes me wonder what is the use of rushing. (Of course don't rush means late. But with so many people late with you, are you really late or is it just ur Kiasuism antics at work?)

On the other hand, I miss the night trains terribly. During that time, it seems very peaceful. The scenery is pitch black and felt as if the surrounding have finally quietened down and be back its calm state. And my heart calmed and slowed down with it too. Suddenly I am able to listen to what my heart wants to tell me, able to observe the miracle of mother nature, able to appreciate life as it is. There are times where I might be so tired I just knocked off, but those were also the times that I have pleasant and peaceful sleep, not those fitful types which I might take while on the morning trains.

In future, if my head is ever muddled up, I think I should once again take a long journey to somewhere, and enjoy the peace that the journey gives me. Somehow I remember reading that in life, it is not the destination but the journey that matters.

In love aspects, where you go doesn't really matter. What matters is your lover was accompanying you to it. If you had gone to the most heavenly place alone, you still will not enjoy it.

In education, there is never a definite destination to end. You learn as you live. Every day, you gain abit of knowledge. You travel further in this education lifelong journey.

And in life, it doesn't matter what will I end up becoming so long I had cherish and enjoy every aspects of my life journey that I had been going through. May it be sweet or bitter, as long as it is my journey, I should appreciate whatever comes to me.

Overwritten Files and Lousy Mood

Judging the time I am still writing this post... it only means that I am still grieving for the overwritten files...

Sighz why didn't I take some forensics crash course. I have tried so many programs to recover the files but to no avail. Makes me wonder how did my computer save new data...

Blame my camera for resetting its counter. Many a times I had almost overwritten my photos. But each time, I manage to prevent the "tragedy" from happening. Yet why did such event happen yesterday. And the consequences were quite...

If it had been personal photos, I wouldn't feel so sad. But they were photos of my cousin's wedding day event. And the day activities were in one click overwritten by the night activities at my own carelessness. How to account to the hundreds of people who were being taken by this camera. Ok I am exagerrating. But I still feel sadz.

Does anybody out there have a way to recover overwritten files? Files that were overwritten due to the same file name? I was told NTFS never re-use data area unless lack of space. I have lots of space in my computer. Yet it seems to have overwrite the exact same area that I am trying to recover.

1 day has passed. Doubt there will be any miracle... sighz